Ghosting Ain't Cool Ya'll So What Happened Was Episode 4

Welcome back to episode four of so what happened was Amy's a dumbass. Oh, no. We're starting on a high note. Right? There's a couple things.

So if if you wear contacts, you'll understand the dumbassery thing I did. If you don't, you could imagine. Right? So I put I put my contacts in yesterday, and I'm like, why are they bothering me? Like, something's wrong.

Like, I can see, but I couldn't see. And then today, I put him in again, and I'm like, there's no way my eyesight is, like, shifted this much. In a day? Fast. No.

Yeah. Like, I'm like, that that's not a thing. Right? So I end up taking them out, putting my glasses on, go to work, DoorDash wearing my glasses for once, which I normally don't do. And then when I get home, I'm like, we're gonna test a theory.

I put the wrong fucking lens in the wrong goddamn eyeball. Oh, do you have, like, two different prescriptions? Yeah. So my eyes one is yeah. One eye is a little bit stronger than the other one.

So my dumbass, apparently, one day well, yesterday or the day before, in a rush, we just, you know, popped them out, put them in the thing, and then popped them in, but the opposite eye. So That's what that was what was nice when when I wore contacts because it was the same in each eye, so it didn't it didn't matter. Oh, so you're one of the favorites. Well yeah. No.

I mean, Yeah. I like I have astigmatism in both eyes. So and, like, I can't see far, but I can see up close. So, like, if I don't like, everybody used to make fun of me and do the, how many fingers am I holding up when I didn't have my glasses on? And I'm like, four, jackass.

Like, I can still see. Go. Right. I just don't see well. Yeah.

And most people Most people are that way, though. Like Mhmm. Yeah. Don't people are just dumb. It's like, oh, you think that's the first time I've heard that joke before?

Right. And then there's me, like, flipping them off. How many fingers am I holding up now? And we're back to second grade on the playground. Right?

Like, it's like serious. School, I mean, when the kids is the kids, they got glasses, and they get called four eyes, and you're just like, oh, original. Original. Really good. That was me.

Yeah. Well, I got LASIK. Best thing I ever freaking did in my entire life. I've thought about it. Because I I mean, I wear glasses.

I mean, glasses are contacts my whole freaking life. And the way, like you know, everybody's got a story about, well, my eyes are shaped a little weird, so the contacts sits funny on it, you know, or like you said, you were gonna have to have two different subscribe or subscriptions prescriptions, for each eye. And and a couple of my friends had got it done, and I was, like, nervous because you get I mean, eyesight's a big deal. Right? Like Yeah.

That's why I'm, like, terrified to do it because I'm like, what if I go blind? I don't wanna be blind. And so I had enough accumulation of friends who were like, I did it. It was great. It's the best thing ever.

And I'm like, I know, but it's your eyes. What if what if I'm the one person that gets fucked up because I Yeah. Messed with my eyes? Like, I was so upset. I'm like, I'm already partially deaf.

Like, I'm already you know, let's let's just add the eyesight to it too. Right? And I was just like, oh, man. But Well, that and how they do it, like, your eyes open. Yeah.

You had it. And that's other that's the other part that's trippy to me that I'm like, I don't think I could do that. You would have to give me, like, freaking, what, Xanax or something to calm me down beforehand. Like, I would have to just be, like, not there to be calm. It well, you're wide awake, and they are giving instructions while they're doing it.

And they're like, okay. Look look straight ahead at this. Okay. Move this way. Do this.

And it gets weird, man. See, my aunt had it, and she loves it. But she's like, you have to go back and get it done because your eyes change after so long. So, like, you're gonna have to get it again, and she has. And then somebody else I know, their uncle, he's had it done now twice.

Yeah. I haven't experienced that. I've had it now for five years, four or five years. Think you gotta be closer to the 60 mark. Oh, well well, they even said, like, I had to sign off and let them know that this was just gonna fix my you know, where I can't see far away.

Because as you get older, just in general, you know, that's why you get readers and things like that. And they said I can still need readers, you know, eventually and stuff. But just the I just being able to wake up in the middle of the night and see instantly or Mhmm. Not have to, you know, worry about it. You know?

Like, what if you lose a contact on vacation or you know, like, all of those things. Yeah. Being able to wear sunglasses and you know? To this day, it was I was nervous about it, and it was scary. And the first, like, six hours are pretty uncomfortable.

But because, like, you can't, like, can't cry and stuff, like, or Well, you you wear, like like like And based on it off of the t swift video I saw where she had it done. And they were like, don't cry. And she's like, I'm not going. They're like, seriously, don't cry. Yeah.

They just want you to be careful the first few hours. But then, like, after that, you're just like, oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I can see. It's crazy.

Oh, yeah. That sounds nice. Like, it was like waking up a new person. It was fantastic. Highly recommend it.

10 out of 10. Yeah. That sounds so nice. I'm pretty sure it costs a lot of dollars to do that. Yeah.

The only reason so the reason that it happened is I had just sold my house, and you knew so so I had an influx, and I was like, this actually will make my life better. And so, I did it first, and then I I was so good that I paid for my partner to get it done too whose eyes were even worse than mine. Oh, wow. And, yeah, it was that's why I say, is it expensive? Absolutely.

But the convenience, the the quality of life, all of those things, I don't regret it at all. Like, I don't Oh, yeah. Because I I don't sit and think about, oh, all that money I wasted. Absolutely not. But best thing ever.

Yeah. Because I dread having to go to the eye doctor. Like, I actually need to go because I'm down to, like, two pairs of contacts Yeah. Left. And if you think how much that cost, just the yearly stuff, it's six months for me is, well, like, close to five hundred dollars.

Yeah. So imagine just not doing that at all. I can't even remember how much it was now. I think it was, like, in the $1,500 range, I think. Oh, see.

That's, like, a two year supply, three years Right. Of contacts for me. But it's hard to come up with it upfront. Right? Yeah.

And that's the problem, and that's why people are also just don't do it. Mhmm. People don't just have that. And that's why I said I had just sold my house, and so I used some of the equity that I had. And I was like, we're paying it back to me.

That's happening. Hell, yeah. I get lectured when I go to the eye doctor. They're like, do you know how long it's been? I'm like, yeah.

And they're like, well, what took you so long? Do you know how much this shit costs? Even the appointment even if you have an like, we don't need to get into insurance because that just gets me mad. But you know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Even, like, just to go get them checked is, like, a hundred and $50 just right out the gate. And then And then your glasses depending on the lens. And then the and then the contacts supply.

Mhmm. I mean They charge you a contact fitting fee, and I laughed in their face last time I was there because I was like, I've been wearing contacts since I was, like, 14. You can fuck off. I'm not doing this fitting fee with you. They're contacts.

Just so you can have them pop in and out. A finger in your eye. You're like, no. Well, they watch you to make sure you know how to put them in and out, and I've worn them so long that I can sit anywhere and pop my contact in and out. I don't have to look at you.

Like, I don't have to worry about it. In a moving car if I needed to. Like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm just like, absolutely not. You can kiss my whole ass with that pee. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. And then, like, everyone because of the contacts that I have to have, they're bigger than my actual, like, pupil Uh-huh.

Like my eye. Yeah. So you can see the blue rim Mhmm. Around it. So people are like, your eyes are cool.

And I'm like, it's a contact. Yeah. It's it's not that cool, but thanks. Remember in, like, like, the late nineties when colored contacts came out and everybody's like I wanted them so badly, and I would, like, start to cry leaving the eye doctor because they'd be like, you can't have it. And I'm like, why?

And they're like, because you have astigmatism in both eyes. They don't make them for you. And I'm like, that's just rude. I want, like, hazel or green eyes, like, purple eyes. I want I want a cool color.

Nobody wants shit brown. What the fuck is this? Me too. I'm always like, what color are your eyes? Poop brown.

They're poop brown color. That's that's the color of my eyes. Sometimes they go golden, but other than that, it's it's weird. That's how you know what mood I'm in. There's a life hack for everyone right there.

If you know me and see me in person, you can tell what mood I'm in by the color of my eyes. Because if I'm in a good mood, they're like honey. Mhmm. They're real light brown honey color, and they're real pretty. Mhmm.

If I am pissed, they're, like, brown black. They are dark as shit. And you'll watch them. If you watch my mood change, you'll actually watch them change colors. It's cool, but freaky.

And I'm here for it. Like, totally here for it. Which brings me to my other dumbassery thing that I did. But I don't really think it was me being a dumbass. So what happened was I caught feelings for somebody that I should had no business catching feelings for and got ghosted, whatevs.

They popped back up, But the dumbassery thing I did was catching the feelings. That was the dumbassery thing I did. We don't catch feelings. Right? We catch flights, not feelings.

hat's what we do. That is the: 2025

Wait. Yeah. So once you realized that it was going south, the next time you looked at them, you're like, I'm okay with it. Yeah. Like, I'm like, why did I think you were so cute?

Ew. Like, the rose colored glasses, like, came off, and it's like horny colored glasses came off, and all of a sudden you're like I mean, I was trying to be a little peachy about it there. Oh, we don't go peachy on this. Yeah. That's fair.

That's fair. Okay. So, yeah, all of the glasses in all forms came off, and I was just like, sir, I found you attractive? What the fuck was I on? Ew.

Isn't that weird how, like, sometimes a a flip can just get, like, switched like that where you just But I like love it. Like, I like like, it happens even in, like, friendships where you're like, oh, we vibe, vibe, vibe, vibe. And then all of a sudden, they say, like, one thing that you're just like, excuse me. What? And it totally it makes you rethink every conversation you've had with them or every interaction you've had with them up until that point.

And you're just like, I just really needed a friend, evidently. Yeah. Or I just really needed a boyfriend, evidently, or a girlfriend. Or Right. I just I'd I'd needed some cuddles real bad, real, real bad.

And then you're like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like, what was that? Like, the freaking who was it? Jimmy Fallon's get the ew. Where he's, ew.

Ew. Like, it's just it was like it's so odd because that's not this isn't the first time, like, that's happened to me where it's like, I look at somebody that I used to, like, talk to or date or situationship, I guess, and, like, you look at them and you're like, how demented was I? And where the fuck was my self worth and self esteem at? Because, clearly, I had none. Like, shit.

Okay. But, like, was it gradual, or did it literally just, like, hit you, like, a ton of bricks all of a sudden all at once? Or or was it triggered because you're like, oh, no. I'm catching feelings, and then you got scared, and then you started looking at them differently because now they could possibly hurt you? Like, which one was it?

Was it So it was I Caught Feelings. You know? Virtual fight club, you don't do that. I caught feelings. Well, not unless that's the point from the beginning.

Then you want to count feelings. Right. Right. Right. That wasn't the point.

Lou, that's not what we're talking about right now. Right. Different different that that was just a sexual relationship type of a Yeah. Things you you know? There's there's rules and regulations and things you don't do.

This is one of those where you don't do. Like, you just you you don't. So caught feelings, admitted said feelings after being in denial for a hot minute, then got ghosted. Oh, shit. Yeah.

And that and then if you know, you know, crashing out was it was there. It was pending. There was, like, doom pending, right, from the crash out. And then, like, I started just being like, the fuck ever, getting over it, I guess. You know?

Like, it's kinda like the out of sight, out of mind, so you don't actually So the ghosting actually kinda helped because there might be some distance or some Yeah. So then I could get clarity and actually rethink things and actually evaluate my life choices I was, you know, making and, like, ended up seeing them and being like, oh my god. They're still so adorable. They're still so fucking cute. Goddamn.

He's fine. And then I saw him again, and I was like, ew. Like, within, like, a day? Yeah. It was like an instant switch.

I don't know, but it was just like okay. First of all, I am too cute for this, sir. This is not a thing. Like, sir, you got me fucked up. You got me all the way fucked up, bro.

So yeah. And, like, the crazier thing is too, and I probably shouldn't be admitting this because this is, like, telling, like, you know, Amy trade secret here. You can tell when my emotions switch on how I feel towards you. I mean, because, you know, for you. I'm a Cancer, so super, you know, emotional if we're going for a stereotypical thing.

Right? But if I lose interest or if you hurt me, piss me off, or anything, I can go cold so fast. It's not even funny. Like, I could be the you know, like, 10 ago and being like, babe, oh my gosh. And then, like, you know, ten minutes later being like, sup, bro?

What's good? What the fuck do you want? I don't know. Is that kinda, though, like like, is that, like, a way to, like, compartmentalize for you? Probably.

But, normally, once I flip the emotional switch so we'll reference Vampire Diaries. When I turn my humanity off towards you, it's off. There it doesn't usually come back on ever. I go full ripper mode. Yeah.

Yeah. I've been known to make people cry. So Well, because you probably just did a full one eighty, and they're like, how come they were buying my shit five minutes ago, and now they're not buying my shit? What happened? Yeah.

And then I'm like, well, let's let's look back. You know, let's run a instant replay, see what transpired that got us to here. Here's what occurred. This, this, this, this, and this. That's a lot.

I'm not sorry. You should be, though. Because I've also had, like, multiple people be like, to know you is to love you, and if they don't know you, they probably can't fucking stand you. And I'm like, truth. Straight facts.

I could see how that happens, though. I should have that knitted on a sampler. I really should put that on my entry mat or something. Like, to know me is to love me. If you don't know me, you're probably like, bitch.

Like, that's really what it is. Like Okay. So what are you gonna do? But what do you do in that situation when it totally turns off? You're just gonna just ghost them back, or what are you gonna do?

No. I'm not that cruel. I'm gonna talk to them like they're a fucking bro. I'm gonna talk to them like they're a fucking bro. Tell them that you're no longer gonna be things have changed?

No. They'll figure it out. Maybe. Oh, I'm pretty sure. Like, toying with them.

Now you're just batting them around like a bear. You know? You're going full on I mean swingers with it. Have you ever seen the movie swingers? No.

I haven't. Like, bat it around like a big bear. Yeah. Just again, it's one of those things. Just don't piss me off.

Like, I the one thing I ask from, like, everybody in any form of a relationship is just be honest with me. Yeah. Like, just be honest. I'd rather you hurt my feelings with the truth, whether, you know, that's friendships, you know Yeah. Partnerships, any, you know, any type of ship.

Hurt my hurt my feelings with the truth. Don't lie to me. Because nine times out of 10, I already know. And then I'm gonna ask you questions to see if you're gonna tell me the truth or if you're gonna continue lying to me Yeah. Which is just gonna dig yourself into a deeper hole, which is then even gonna further, like, piss me the fuck off.

Yeah. And I've I've told that to people before where it's like, I can handle the truth. I can't handle what happens when you lie to me and the trust is broken. That can't be repaired with me, whereas the truth of something that you've done, that can be worked through. That Yeah.

Most of those things most truths like that, you messed up, you had a human moment, you did something, I can under I can at least see your perspective. But what about me and the relationship that we have made you think that it would be better to hide that from me? Mhmm. Because I'm kinda one of those people that you lose trust with me, you're not getting it back. Like, it Oh, yeah.

It it can't be done. You know? And so I have, like, certain rules set out. You know? And not like I go about and be like, if you wanna be my friend, you have to do this, this, and this, you know, or whatever.

But I make it pretty fucking clear because I when people do tell me the truth or that they've messed up, I'm like, oh, okay. Mhmm. Well, let's talk about it. And you do that enough with people, they realize they actually can tell you the truth, and you're not gonna blow up on them, and you're not gonna freak out. And, yeah, you may need to be like, okay.

I need a minute to process, and then let's talk about it. You know? But I'm like, that's my biggest thing with people. I'm like, do not lie to me because Mhmm. That to me, that's a that's a no coming back from.

Yeah. That's And I'm not talking, like stupid little lies. Like, hey. Did you drink all the milk? And they're like, no.

You know? Like, that's not what I'm talking about. But, like Did you leave this, like, almost empty thing of Kool Aid in the fridge? No? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Like but, like, when people lie to you, it's like an it's insulting your intelligence. That's how I take it. Yeah.

Because like you said, most of the time, I already probably know or I'm already suspicious or I'm already Mhmm. Wondering that's why I'm asking you this question. Or I'm asking, hey. Is there anything you need to talk about? Right.

Anything you wanna let me know? No? You sure? Right. What about this?

No? Okay. Your body language changed, your tone changed, and it looks like you're starting to sweat. Last opportunity, are you sure? You know, like Getting a little squirmy over there.

A little a little hyperactive. Mhmm. Yeah. Like, I would rather just tell the truth. Now, obviously, five minutes ago where I'm like, when you asked, are you gonna tell him?

No. Because to me, he already insulted my intelligence. I don't I don't owe you anything. Ghosting is pretty cruel. Yeah.

It doesn't take much to even if it's someone that you don't really owe a lot to, and and this is where I know that me and you kinda differ on where that line is. Like Yeah. Like, I'll always like, even if it's someone that I want nothing to do with or we have no rapport or anything like that, I will still always be like, appreciate it, but I think I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna block you an hour or whatever I need to do. You know? Whatever the situation calls for.

Right? Or I'll be like, I'm done with this conversation. Good life. See you later. Like, I will do that Mhmm.

For my own benefit. Yeah. But, like, ghosting is just rude. Yeah. And it's disrespectful.

Like, just even having respect for yourself Mhmm. To not do that because Mhmm. Obviously, there's been some sort of connection that's been made. Yeah. Even, like, you know, like, even if you've gone on dates with someone a couple of times or something Mhmm.

And then you just kind of are like, actually, I don't really think this is going anywhere. Have the freaking balls to say, hey. Hey. I've really enjoyed our time together, but I don't really, you know, wanna continue this. Best of luck to you.

You know, I appreciate everything. Bye. It takes two seconds. You don't have to call. You can send a text.

No. And most likely, the message will be appreciated. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's okay to say, hey.

This isn't, you know, this isn't working for me. Or, you know, like, previously, I've had a guy, that I had met on a dating site. This was years ago. Met him on a dating site. Never actually met him in person.

And he you know, like, we were communicating back and forth, like, all day long all the time. And he he was honest. He was like, hey. I wanna let you know the reason why I haven't asked you out on a date yet is because I've already gone on a couple dates with this other female, and I wanna see where that goes, but I don't wanna string you along. Yeah.

So, you know and I was like, hell, yeah. I hope it works out, you know, for you. Like, I appreciate that. Like, thank you for letting me know. And I said, I'm horrible at responding on dating sites.

I can admit it. But it's like people wanna play it at having these serious type of relationships, but they can't even communicate the simplest of things of, hey. I like you, but I'm dating a lot of people right now. Mhmm. You know?

Because I'm trying to figure out who I who I click with, who I don't. Cool. There's nothing wrong with saying that. Absolutely nothing wrong. And then if it is someone that you've actually spent some time communicating with, say, hey.

Actually, something worked out with this other person. Again, don't want you to feel like I just forgot about you. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Blew you off. Forgot about you. I'm not stringing you along. Yeah. The one thing I will probably say is don't do a, well, if it doesn't work out with this person, I'll be back because it's kind of like, fuck you.

No. Second choice, thank you, but no. Mm-mm. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, say your piece. If you happen to cross paths, you happen to cross paths. You know? Like, you do yourself a lot better if you're just like, well, I'm, you know, I'm gonna pursue this. Good luck.

Hey. Yeah. You too. And then if eventually you run into him, you know, at a coffee shop or back on a dating site or something, you know, months later, year later, whatever, if you two are still interested in each other, then, you know, sure. But, like, not after saying something stupid.

Well yeah. And I think people do that because they think it makes makes it better. Like Yeah. No. That doesn't soften the blow.

That makes you look like an asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Like, well, if this doesn't work, I'm gonna keep you around just in case. So that way, I'm technically never alone, and I will always have somebody there.

I'm sorry. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Do you not know me? Clearly, you don't. Which is why we're not gonna date.

Okay. Thanks. Bye. Right. Which is why you're a piece of shit, and good luck.

ng doesn't work now in, like,: 2025

I'm like, because I fucking live in Kansas City, and it's literally the number one worst city to date in Is there really? In The US. It is literally the number one worst city. Because everybody out here marries their fucking elementary school sweetheart or their high school sweetheart. So if you didn't hook up with somebody and latch on to them from life when you were in a goddamn diaper out here, you're pretty much just fucked.

And then there's me. Like, you guys are weird. Leave your fucking city. Go see the world. Go do something.

Like, evolve for fuck's sake. Elevate. I don't know. But they all it's it's all just one big giant repeated cycle. I mean, I live in the fucking bible belt.

Yeah. So there's that. You know? Like, you have to do things this way and this way, and I'm like, I'm good. I'm still on Bachelorette.

Call me. I can tell you I've never watched a single episode of that show. It's so dramatic. I don't even know I don't even know how it works. I don't know what it is.

I hear things about roses and and Yeah. I proposals and stuff, and I'm like Uh-huh. Okay. No. I'm not In a nutshell, it's like one guy or one girl, bachelor or bachelorette depending on the season, and then, like, 26 men or 26 women all trying to date this one individual to, at the end, get proposed to, or propose to, you know, the person.

And So you're fight supposed to find your your spouse out of 26 contestants? Basically. But there's no cell phones. There's no TV. There's no there's no nothing.

Like, you're cut off from the world. So this is the only reason why I think Like Survivor? Certain instances, yeah, certain instances, it can it can work. It was like, Big Brother. I don't know if you've ever watched that show.

There's a lot of couples. I love reality TV. Anyways, there's a lot of couples on Big Brother. And I went to high school with a girl whose sister met her husband while they were playing Big Brother, and they've been married for years now and have a few kids. But because you're cut off from the outside world and you don't have all of the, you know, friends, family, other bullshit around you, it's easier to connect with somebody because all you can fucking do is talk.

That's all you have. Yeah. It's like a romance novel of forced force proximity Yeah. Situation. Yeah.

So now the bachelor bachelorettes, they don't have great outcomes on staying engaged or married. Some have. Some of them have married. Yeah. You know?

Shocking. I know. No. I know. Yeah.

Yeah. But I think it would be great because I don't think my man's in Kansas City, if I'm being honest. I mean, the last person I dated was from New York. Person prior to that was from Texas. So, clearly, I'm like, are you from here?

Yeah. No. That's a no for me, big dog. Like, that's an automatic no for me. To be always in a long distance relationship.

Well, they lived here. They just weren't originally from here. Oh, I thought you were talking about, like No. Long distance relationships. No.

Because that's too much work and effort for me, I'm a be honest. That's, I mean, I know we're catching flights. But when I say I'm catching a flight, I mean, like, to a beach or to Vegas. You know? Not to, like, freaking Massachusetts or Wisconsin.

Like, the fuck am I doing here, bro? I flew and saw you, and I was like, yay. I caught flights as you kids say it. I mean, fair and true. We had a lot of fun, though.

Mhmm. Also, I gotta meet Tequila Amy. Tequila Amy is a vibe. Tequila Amy is a vibe. There's a lot of Tequila Amy appeared on Valentine's Day too.

She comes around on the holidays. Yep. So that's how you gotta that's how you gotta do it. That's that's definitely how you gotta do it. Just Yeah.

Because I was there at Halloween. And then yeah. Mhmm. Uh-huh. And then the next time I had a a lot of tequila was Valentine's Day.

I think I had more tequila on Halloween than I did Valentine's Day, but I still had a lot. I still still had a lot. Yeah. It was a great time, though. Shout again, shout out to my little sister and her friends for being, like, so welcoming and just, like, letting me tag along and having so much fun.

And Sometimes it's good not to have to be the planner. Yeah. I don't like Just along for the ride. Just be like I agree. Gonna say yes to whatever you guys are gonna whatever you guys are gonna do.

Sure. Let's try it. Okay. Let's go. The greatest week.

Yeah. It's like all the pressure's off, especially if you're doing it for, like, a mini vacation or something like that. Even if it's not, like, somewhere exotic and you're just like, can someone else just be my tour guide? And I'm just gonna sit back and Yeah. Enjoy the ambiance.

Yeah. My favorite line was, I'm just here. I know nothing. Well, because, you know, like, I what are you guys gonna do? I'm just here.

I know nothing. My brain is off. I'm just here, and I know nothing. Like, that was on repeat because so, if you didn't know, you're gonna know. I have control issues, and I love to control every aspect and everything down to a damn near what somebody else is gonna say in response to what I say.

But I don't flip the fuck out if they don't give me the response I want. I just make a face like you're an idiot and then proceed accordingly. And we're we're working on the control issues. Right? Trying not to control every aspect of everything and just letting things be.

So I needed that trip to where I could just be there and be in the moment, and I didn't have to worry about anything to where it's kind of still continued on now, and I'm here for it. So, like, the past seventy two hours, I've essentially, for the most part, been knocked the fuck out if I wasn't working. Work, get off work. I'd be up for, like, thirty minutes to an hour, and then I'd be asleep for, like, the next three or four hours. Just like a one.

Real tired. Yeah. Yeah. So and, normally, I'd be like, I didn't go work my second job. I need to do this, and I need to do this, and freaking out completely.

Nope. I have no anxiety about it. I'm like, well, it is what it is. Oh, well. And I'm just being, like, present.

It's so much better. Controlling everything fucking sucks. Well, yeah, because you're always disappointed because nothing ever goes the way you think it should. Right. So it's always disappointing.

Well, unless you know it's going to, like, Cheesecake Factory because you know they're gonna have your favorite cheesecake, and then you can control, like, can eat that one. But that's, like, it. You know? Like Sometimes some of your segues. I'm like, wait.

Cheesecake Cheesecake fact? What are we talking about? You're insane. If you're gonna control something, at least let it be the slice of cheesecake you're gonna get. It was always the white chocolate raspberry.

It was always. That was my favorite. See, mine used to be the Oreo one, but now I've switched to the strawberry one. So it's just a regular piece of cheesecake with death on top of it for me. Oh, the strawberry goo on the top?

Like, the No. Like, the literal like, a literal strawberry. Oh. So because every time I go there, it's because I have a free slice of cheesecake or, like, a half off slice of cheesecake. That's the only time I go there because I'm part of their, like, rewards club or something.

So I'll go, and I'm like, what's the most expensive slice? Oh, the classic cheesecake with strawberries. Yes. Thank you. And that's what I get.

I do like cheesecake. We always end up having a moment in every episode where we're just, like, start talking about food that we like to eat. Food's important. You know? Like, you need substance to survive.

We just might talk about nonsense food, but food is delicious. I don't care. You need it. It is. Did you hear what happened?

And, also, I I had the so it happened. Like, I know I shared with you a little bit about it. But the other day, I'm outside, and I hear this high pitched, like, cry outside. Uh-huh. And I'm like, what is happening right now?

What is this? Stand up, and one of my sheep is in labor. Surprise, Shadi. And they are just, like, howling away because get it, girl. Like, that's uncomfortable.

And Yeah. I wouldn't know. I was like I play with that. I am completely alone. I gotta I gotta help this mama have a baby sheep today.

So that was my day, but it was like everything that could go wrong went wrong Uh-huh. All at once. Because Yeah. It's a lot. Because the other sheep got out while I'm trying to separate them.

And so I'm trying to wrangle these other sheep, and I'm having to do, like, these different because we have different gate systems so that you can keep you know? So it's like you know, like, it when they have boats going through different areas and they have you know, separate them out, you know, and things like so so we can move things around. Right? So I'm trying to open one gate into the other, and then for some reason, my hand, because I'm short, I'm trying to reach around from behind and undo this latch. And while I have sheep behind me, another one wailing, having you know, giving birth.

And then I look up, and my dog is loose. And, again, I'm just one person. And I'm like you know, it's one of those things where if everything can go to shit, it's gonna go to shit all at once when it's completely inconvenient. And then I go, and I go to, chain up the dog because it's a livestock dog, so it's trying to get to where the sheep is where it's giving birth. I'm like, no.

We need to give her some space. You know? And I go to pick it up, and it's not just that it came unclipped. It's that it is you know, like, those cables that Pete you use for for animals? Like, it's like wire cable snapped in half.

Oh, love that. And I'm and so he's walking around with, like, half this cable running around after him, and the other path just hanging from where it where it keeps him secured. And I have sheep crying. I I did one of those moments. Have you ever done one of those moments where you're just like and you kinda just have to just, what's the first thing I can do?

And you have to realize that sat down and cried first. I would've stopped immediately wherever I was in that moment and just sat on the ground, cried, and then go, I'm just like, okay. What's what's the most important? I gotta get Seamus so he can't start trying to herd the sheep. Like, I have to do that.

Right? And I'm, like, running around trying to get find some sort of chain or something for him. This dog like, when I say chain, you know, people are gonna be like, what? You chain up? This dog is like a 250 pound dog.

Like, so this is not He's like a polar bear. Yeah. So it's not like he can't handle the weight of a chain. Like, this is Yeah. That's what you know?

Anyways but so I'm trying to go I'm work I'm trying to find it in the barn and, like, all these different areas to try to figure out how to get him tied up. And I had to tie him to, like like, a, pillar. And so he's freaking out because he keeps hearing the sheep, and the sheep are running around because they're hot out. But I was like, okay. Him first because he's just gonna make my life more difficult.

I'm in the I'm literally in sweatpants on a muck, you know, like, muck boots, like and I am just sweating even though it's freezing cold because I'm running all over this property by myself. And, anyways, I get the sheep finally put away just in time for my sheep to go all the way down the hauler. Like, it's out in the woods, and so she's wandered off because they kinda do that. They try and seclude themselves a little bit. So I'm walking down this muddy ass freaking hill, walking through trees, ducking under, trying to find this sheep because she's in labor.

It's her first one, and I'm just like, this is gonna be difficult. Mhmm. So then I'm then I'm getting swarmed by all the barn cats are coming out. I'm just tripping all over everything. And then I'm like, oh, no.

I don't have a towel or any of the because we have, like, barn towels that we use for Mhmm. The birthing stuff. Oh my goodness. Finally get her up. You're talking about this?

All I can think about right now is Anne with an e. That's right. Farm life. Yeah. There's gonna be people over listening to this like, what?

What are you doing? Just wait. Just wait. She needed help. So Nope.

So she was laying down. I couldn't get her to stand up because gravity helps. And so she's just laying on her on her side, and so there's no nothing for her to push against. And her legs, she didn't have any traction. So I'm there having to help pull Mhmm.

Again, by myself, get the first one out. It's not breathing, so I'm doing the full nursing, you know, like, shaking it, trying to get it, you know, to take its breath. You know? You've probably seen those videos of where they're trying to get something to wake up when it or take us for its breath or something. Only in a hundred and one Dalmatians, the live action version and the Disney cartoon version.

That's about it, Lou. Sure. So but it took in its breath right as I got it to breathe. I look up, and there's another one coming out. Oh, love that.

Twins. Yay. But I bet they're adorable. Right? They are.

So, again, it was a it's been a day. We've had another one since we have three baby lambs, and I've got a I've had to go into full mama mode. Like, we're doing feedings, all that stuff. Mhmm. I know this is riveting for people, but that was a day.

And It sounds like it. No. Thank you. When it was all said and done, I may or may not have had a cocktail and just sat around and read Smutbooks afterwards because I was just like, I'm done. Yeah.

I would've. I would've. Again, I told you. I would've sat down exactly where wherever the hell I was at at that present moment and just would've cried. And then And then And then would've got up and been like, alright.

Now I can do this. Well, then I I'm getting all done, and I in between all this stuff, I'm try like, I text I text my partner. I'm just like, just so you know. This is happening. And he goes, of course.

Because he left, like, an hour before it all this started. Like, he left. Of course he did. The farm. You know?

And we're, like, out in the boons. So he's already an hour away just to get into the city. And he's like, of course. Sure. Alright.

And I'm just like, yep. So I'll let you know how things go. So I am completely alone. So Mhmm. It's all on me.

Either these babies are gonna get birth or they're not, and this dog's gonna run away or it's not, or these sheep are gonna be running all over the place or they're not. I don't know. So but If you thought about living on a farm and having farm animals, here's some of the experiences you could have. I am a city person through and through. I like the burbs.

I didn't see it has its place, but also Mhmm. You know? Mhmm. I did see a baby animal video. It was a miniature donkey, and now I feel like you need to have one with those two.

No, Amy. No. But it was so cute. It was so cute. Spend me animals that you think I need to own.

You have the land. You could do it. No. Did you not hear about my day? I did.

I didn't say let them have babies. It was just like a one. You know? You didn't mention any of that stuff. Getting on the porch or the chickens.

Like like, I didn't mention any of that stuff. We leave Howard out of this. Howard Howard is awesome. He could go on the porch. Damn it.

You leave that duck alone. He's a he's a he's a perfect gem. He is a treasure. He is a treasure. His name is Howard the Duck.

Come on. Weird ass eighties movie. Have you ever seen that movie? I've seen parts of it. Oh my goodness.

I've seen parts of it. Oh my goodness. Watching stranger things since we're eighties. Mhmm. I really wanna watch a never ending story again because there's a part where they're singing and, no, I'm not gonna start singing the song because if I do, everybody will stop this episode right now Yeah.

And not finish listening. So but I really wanna watch the never ending story, but then I just remember the amount of trauma Oh, yeah. That movie gave me as a child. Like, the weird ass shit we watched in the eighties. Like Well, for me, it was the nineties for me.

It was like like that kind of stuff. Like Mhmm. I'm sitting there thinking like, yay. Memories. It's kinda creepy.

Like, that kid's up in the attic. He got beat up. You know? The creepy guy at the library or at the bookstore. And then he's, like, running around and you're like, what is going on?

You didn't realize that his mom died. That's tragic enough. He's kind of an outsider at school. He's got bullies, and then he goes up in a freaking attic that has skeletons in it and dead animals inside the school. You're like, this is odd.

And then It explains a lot for adults now, though. But yeah. It does. But I was just like yeah. It was traumatizing to this day.

Artax, swamp of sadness. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. Mhmm.

Nope. Uh-uh. Nope. Nope. Even, like, not gonna lie, even Falkor.

Yeah. He's creepy. You see yeah. Scared the shit. Like, a dog dragon?

What the fuck? Like luck dragon? Hello. Okay. And then the old people that took care of him and were eating worms and stuff, you're like, why is this a kids' movie?

Right. And then that okay. So I was obsessed with that movie. And then whenever I go to my grandma's house, I don't know why she owned this movie, but she did. It was Little Nemo Adventures in Dreamland.

There's a very select few that will know that movie. Like a cartoon or was it a It was a car it was a cartoon movie. I think that I think I do know about this because I think there was a video game based on it. Uh-huh. I think there was too where the kid was, like, on a bed Mhmm.

And he would go to these different things and places and yeah. Creepy as fuck movie, but I was obsessed and watched it all the time, which then, again, explains so much now as an adult. That's why I view things the way I do. But that's not here nor there. But, yeah, like, that movie, oh oh, what happened?

The snake is hanging from the ceiling. I don't know if it's I told you it was trying to escape. I think it is. I told you. I told you.

The snakes were planning to escape. Sorry. I told you. From it. I have snakes right in in front of me, and they're my partner snakes.

I I'm not down with the with the snakes, but it is trying to get out of the tunnel. I told you. I told you. Is it gonna get out? It's gonna get out, and it's gonna eat you it's gonna eat you guys in your sleep.

Sorry. Mm-mm. Is there something heavy on top of the kit? Can it get out? Now I'm scared for you.

I know. Right? Gonna eat you. It's gonna eat you. See?

Again, we're talking about terrifying things. To this day, the the snake scene in Indiana Jones and the last crusade when he falls in the snake pit. I don't remember that movie, but that sounds terrifying. Yeah. It is terrifying.

Yeah. I I didn't care for that at all. That one messed with my brain. No. Anything with snakes is a no for me.

So, like, even when I go to the zoo and I love the zoo, right, I avoid the reptile exhibit. Plus the reptile place smells. It does. Because it has to be muddy in there, and so it feels just, like, icky heavy. Mhmm.

Like, well, the tropical area where, like, all the The bird area smells too. I don't do that because they can attack you from above, and they're loose, and I don't like it. Irrational fears one zero one. But that and I've seen enough videos of, like, people getting dive bombed by, like, seagulls or crows. You know, fun fact, crows actually will remember?

Like, they have a really good memory. Oh, yeah. They hold grudges. Exact no wonder I like them. It's a murder of crows.

Right. They're always plotting your demise. Again, we have that in common. Yeah. So mhmm.

No. There Again, is there something like, your there's something heavy enough on top of that lid so they can't escape and eat you in your sleep? I can't see from here. I'm waiting to hope that Nate does a walk by, and I can He he went behind you when you were like Did he? He was he was behind you.

If you have your phone, honestly, I would text him and tell him they're plotting our murder. Help. You guys are getting, like this this podcast is meant to be, like, a phone or a FaceTime phone call between people, and this is this is exactly how the phone calls go. There's no scriptedness to any of this. Like, I'm now, like This is winging it one zero one.

Exactly. This is not professional. This is just real deal Holyfield stuff. Yeah. Like, absolutely not.

So, like, mind you, I've had two encounters with snakes. Right? To me, they were, like, the size of an anaconda. Reality, they were, I think, like a gardener snake. Doesn't matter.

They were huge. Right? They were going to eat me. One was when I jumped in the pool at my dad's house when I was younger and had goggles on. And so I'm, like, swimming, and I see this thing, like, slithering at the top.

I, like, panic, almost drown myself because I'm screaming underwater. Mhmm. And then I run-in the house, and I'm like, there's a snake. It's gonna eat me. And he comes out, and he's like, it's a gardener snake.

It's not that and I'm, like, crying hysterically because I hate snakes. Then my little sister, I'm babysitting. We're in my room, which was in the basement at the time, and my bed was also just a mattress on the floor at the time. So the space between the floor and the top of the bed, it wasn't like, you know, you're standing on something, and you feel like the snake couldn't get you. But we had cats, and she was like, Sissy, the cats are playing with someone.

I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Shut up.

Watch TV. Watch cartoons. Mhmm. And then she's like, no. Look.

And I look over, and both of our cats are sitting there batting at something. I stand up and look, and then I just instantly start shrieking because it's a snake, which then triggers her to start bawling. And then I call my mom, and I'm like, you need to get here now. There's a snake. And she was like, I'm at work.

I don't know what you want me to do. And I'm like, leave. What the fuck do you mean leave? Isn't that when you had your your neighbor come over to get it out? Yeah.

So my mom had knee surgery, so we had crutches from her knee surgery. So I grab one of her crutches, and I just start trying to nudge it out into the garage. Get it outside, and I'm, like, holding it with a crutch. My neighbor comes home, and she's like, what are you doing? I was like, there's a snake.

I don't know what to do. And she's like, hold, please. And then comes out with a sledgehammer, walks over, and just whacks it on its head. And I'm like, you're my hero. And she's like, it's dead.

I'm like, no. It's not. Put it in the street. Let's watch Cars Run Over It Now. Thank you.

When you just said you're my hero, I was like, Ferris Bueller, you're my hero. To this day, that monologue that he does in his car, when he's like, he's just gonna keep calling me and calling me, and I'm just gonna take it. That movie really is great. Oh, yeah. If you didn't have a crush on Ferris Bueller doing the twist and shout song, you had no pulse.

I mean, I didn't. But You didn't like Matthew Broderick back in the day? No. No. No.

But we know what my taste is. It's not Matthew Broderick. It's not it's Okay. But Sean Astin in Goonies? Which one was he?

The main kid? Mikey? No. What? No.

I didn't think any of them are cute. What? No. Fred Savage from Wonder Years. No.

I used to get called freaking Winnie from Wonder Years. Everyone would tell me when I was little, I looked like Winnie from Wonder Years, and I used to get so mad. I'm like, I don't even watch that. I don't even know what it is you're talking about. Yeah.

No. Mine was, like, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Oh, we're just we're just we're just two different eras. Yeah. Because Jonathan Taylor Thomas when I when I was that was like, ew, that kid's young.

Uh-uh. No. Like Yeah. Where he was, like, my age. So, yeah, I was like Jonathan out JTT all day.

Usher, Backstreet Boys. It was always a toss-up between Brian and AJ. I forget. I'm much more eighties, baby. You're much more nineties, baby.

I was only alive for three years in the eighties. Yeah. Yeah. You missed that. Yeah.

Yeah. But I still had all the eighties toys. Yeah. We did have those. But yeah.

So, yeah, I was I was Jonathan Taylor Thomas for sure. I'm trying to think of who else. Oh god. The teen magazines, like, the teen beat where you would buy them, and then the posters, like, oh god. Teen Yeah.

The guy from the guy from, Casper and Now and Then, Devin Siwa, I think that's his name. Siwa. Yeah. Yeah. God, he was so hot.

God, he was just wow. That that was that was mine. I'm really concerned for you. Do I need to text? I already did.

He even looked, and he was just, like, looking, and then he just left. So, obviously, he he is doesn't think she's getting out, but the top keeps moving. I'm just like, okay. I already text him. He's already come in.

And he didn't do anything? He put the fuck. He put a heavy thing on the top just to make sure, but Oh, okay. But it's still it's weird. You know me?

Go outside and find some rocks, some big ass rocks and put those on top too, and then maybe maybe try, like, to solder the lid on. I don't know. Something. You have to be able to open it, though. Right.

But you own, like, Pinky and the Brain. I'm telling you they're plotting. Like, the Okay. But Tiny Toons, great show. Loved that.

Yes. Yes. Tiny Toon Adventures, that was a jam. That really was with Babs and Buster Bunny. And then Animaniacs?

Yep. Another classic, Pinky and the Brain. Mhmm. I still know that theme song. Everybody does.

Like, it it it was like the new era of DuckTales theme song. It it got just it it just got stuck in your head the same way DuckTales theme song did. Mhmm. Although, you could always tell who who is, like, the rich kid or not. At least this is how, like, we used to do it, is if you had Disney Channel as a kid or if you just had Nickelodeon.

And I had Nickelodeon, so I was like, Doug, Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Ah, Real Monsters, Angry Beavers, you know, like, all of those to where DuckTales, I didn't really get to watch unless I went to my grandma's house because she had Well, they had those as far as those were just played after school. So it would be DuckTales, TaleSpin, Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers. Like, it was those type of ones. But Mhmm. But, yeah, when I was younger, you had to have well, they didn't really have cable.

It was like satellite is what you could get. And so you had to be rich rich to to watch the Disney Channel because I didn't even know what, like, the Mickey Mouse Club was. And when I was that age, Kids Incorporated was the big deal with all the cute singing kids. Oh, I think it was a new version of Mickey Mouse Club kind of or whatever. Mhmm.

And but do you remember when, like, they would have the Friday nights, family nights, and they would have a Disney special. Oh, Sunday days. Thursday night. I can't remember, but Thursday night when it was like and then they'd come out and announce, today, we're gonna be watching Robin Hood and blah blah blah, and they would play an actual Disney something. Or, like, I think it was, like, Disney Mhmm.

Special nights or something. I don't know. And it would play on, like, ABC or NBC or something. Yeah. I think it was ABC because ABC is owned by Disney.

So I think it's ABC. But, yeah, like, I I just wanna throw out there. I was a really weird fucking kid, so I can I can say that out loud now? Then I would have been like, I'm not weird. I'm normal.

But, like, I would be I'd watch cartoons. Right? So, like, Rugrats, Gargoyles, whatever, Doug. Then I'd be watching Cujo, Chucky, Tales from the Crypt. And then on the other on the complete opposite spectrum, I loved I Love Lucy.

So I'd be watching I Love Lucy, the original Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mickey Mouse Club with Annette Funicello. Like, love Yeah. The original Little Rascals, like, straight Three Stooges. Three Stooges, Abbott and Costello. Yeah.

Mhmm. So try being relatable as, like, a, you know, eight year old that's like, rugrats. Three Stooges. And people are like, what the fuck? But, like, my mom had cable.

My dad didn't. So my dad's TV was at whatever, you know, the antenna Yeah. Picked up. So, typically, over there at his house, it was Three Stooges, Isle of Lucy, little, like, you know, straight, like, TV land Yeah. Shit.

Yeah. I didn't like M*A*S*H. I still don't like this. Always was watching M*A*S*H, and I the that's the only like, I only watched it because when he was in charge of the TV, that's what we watched. See, I don't know that life.

I've always been in charge of the TV since I was a small child. I have a fixation with holding the remote, and it's very hard for me to give that a We didn't have a remote. The children were the remote. So if we wanted to change the channel, we had to stand up and go and change it. We finally got a color TV when I was in, like, middle school.

We were we were poor, though. I mean, like, we it's not like I mean, we're in small town. You know? Yeah. But I'm thinking you're not that much older than me, so I'm, like, calling in a weird zone of where I remember all the old, but also because 79 is considered Xennial.

Right? Mhmm. Mhmm. It's not quite Gen x, not quite millennial. It's in that weird spot.

And so because we we remember black and white TVs, I remember when when before Internet. So Mhmm. I remember pre Yeah. I remember before the Internet. I remember, you know, first cell phones.

I remember too. You know, like and so but I also remember black and white TVs, eight tracks, you know, all of those things. I remember before cars had seat belts. Yeah. I do remember that.

Car seats were not us saying, you know, all of that type of stuff. So Cars were made way better, though. We're gonna be honest about it. Those things were like freaking tanks, and now they make plastic looking tanks that are hideous. Well, and all it takes is a door, and it just crumbles to pieces, and you have to pay thousands of dollars to get it fixed for a ding.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Even now with the, my car is not fancy, but my sister's car is. The lane assist Yeah.

Mhmm. Yeah. Because the camera you have a camera on the front of your windshield. So if you crack your windshield, that's, like, a $1,200 replacement. Yeah.

Yeah. Mine's like, here's a couple hundred bucks. Yay, life. I've had to replace mine a couple times because of semis. Yeah.

Road trips and, you know, kick up shit, and it completely shatters your windshield. Or it just does the chip, and you're like, that's gonna grow. And then by the next day, it just, like, has a fire web, and you're like, Yep. Yep. Mhmm.

And in the state of Missouri, if you have one that's over, I think, like, half an inch in length, and if they feel as though it is in your view, your, like, eyesight, and it prohibits you from having a clear view of the road, they won't let you register your car unless you get it replaced. I was irate because I'm like, it's on the passenger side in the bottom right corner. Seriously? Yeah. That that could prohibit your view.

How the fuck? Amy's throwing hands at the DMV. They don't yeah. I'm I'm argumentative. If something doesn't make oh god.

It got out in it. It's loose. It's loose. I know it's loose. Nope.

It just drops straight from the ceiling into the bowl of water. So it's doing acrobatics and got tired of trying to escape, and they're like, she's on to me. She's watching us. Abort, abort, abort, abort mission now. Well, she didn't make it.

So Uh-huh. We we have to keep pretending we're just snakes, even lone brain. And Pinky, we know we're not. Yeah. That's creepy.

Sorry. We keep sidetracking about freaking snakes that nobody can see. One day one day, you guys are actually gonna be able to see what we look like. And I think I I'm hoping by you know, like, within the year, we got full studio type style with video and Oh, yeah. Sounds and Mhmm.

Lighting. You know? Oh, you're saying you don't like my background lights that change and flicker every five seconds from whatever TV show I might have on? Don't like watching the cats in the background walking around. No.

I do enjoy when I see Nate go by in the back window behind you because it's like a game for me. I'm like, is he in the house? Is he outside the house? Is he in the house? Is he outside the house?

I don't know. Could go either way. Because it just looks like a reflection because of the window. Right? Well and I've recorded outside before, but with the sheep, man, it it's it's too loud, man.

Like, they just don't shut up right now. So it really is like having babies. It is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Nope. Mm-mm. Nope. I'm good.

went I I was feeding them at: 04:30

Well, not now, but at one point Mhmm. I was like, oh, I should get another dog. I should get a puppy. And then, the person I was dating previously, he got a puppy. Mhmm.

to get up, and it'd be, like,: 02:30

I hate my life. Go to the bathroom. I just wanna sleep for the love of fucking god. And then, like, going back in, two hours later, go potty. Go potty.

I'm like, oh my god. Why do people do this? I don't understand, and I know having a baby is fucking worse. At least this thing I can plop outside and go go to the bathroom. Go to the bathroom.

Or I don't have to wake up to maybe a potential, like, exploding diaper in their freaking crib, going up their back in their hair at 4AM, then you have to give them a fucking bath. Not that I've done that. I may have done that. It's what happens when you have siblings that are sixteen years younger than you. That'll happen.

Yeah. No. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Oh, so I haven't told you.

Toxic group moment. Right? Oh, these are always fun updates. Uh-huh. So there's been a few, but this is the one that stuck in my brain because the girl thought she ate with this.

And it was just like, ma'am, you're an idiot. What are you doing? Well, there's two of them. One today was this girl was like, we matched on Hinge or Tinder or Bumble or whatever dating site. Enter whichever one you want.

We matched. Is there anything I need to know? Every comment was like, bitch, did you even say hi to him? Because isn't matching just the first thing you haven't even started talking yet? It just means that you both liked each other's pictures, isn't it?

Yeah. You both thought the other one was cute, and you matched. No words have been exchanged. So she's just getting roasted in the comments to where it's like, try having a conversation with them first before running to this fucking group asking questions about is there anything I need to know? Ask them what you need to know.

Right. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? That's just weird. Group is fucking out of hand. Like, you guys are demented.

Yeah. Why It's like dating for imbeciles? What is happening right now? Yeah. It's like Do you not know how to people?

You can't even have a conversation. Like, say hi to the man first. Like, what the fuck? It could half the time, you accidentally swipe on people anyways depending on whatever app it is, and you're like, oh, shit. Hopefully, they don't like me back.

And then when they do, you're like, oh, fuck. Unmatched. You know? Because it's like an accidental thing. So I am it could've been an accident.

My phone fell on my face. I could've had a lot of tequila, and them goggles were working real well. You know? Like, that whole thing. But she's just she's just getting completely obliterated in the comments, because which I'm reading them giggling, like, giggling at it because I'm like, you're an idiot.

Why why would you not even acknowledge his existence but share that you matched? And then the other one was this girl put a screenshot of text messages from her ex in there. And it was basically him saying that his current girlfriend is pregnant with his child, and he always felt like it should have been her that was gonna have the his child, not his current girlfriend. And, she was like, I told you this was gonna happen. And, again, she got obliterated in the comment section I thought because it's like Okay.

Are you wanting advice, or what are what are you doing with this? Are you trying to show that your ex boyfriend still wants you? Because everybody in there is like, first of all, why are you still talking to him? Yeah. Like, why are you I don't I'm not.

You shared the screenshot where you replied. That is speaking to him. Why isn't he blocked if you want nothing to do with him? And I'm like, first of all, you like the attention because he's still giving you attention and validation, and you like the fact that he still wants you even though he has a pregnant girlfriend, not just a girlfriend, a pregnant girlfriend, and weird ass validation of him being like, it should have been you. You should have been the mother of my child.

Weird fucking ass validation with that bullshit. Also And I'm like no. Thanks. Uh-uh. No.

No. No. Ew. That's just a gross thing for some guy to do in general. Yeah.

Yeah. Now don't get me wrong. One boyfriend of mine, him and I had the conversation. It was like he looked at me and goes, I've always thought I'd get you pregnant. And I looked at him and I said, same.

Oh, well. Like but it was but his child was also, like, three or four at the time. But given our history because he it was a one night stand Oh, gotcha. That he had. And he was like, I really always thought it was gonna be you.

And I'm like, same. Mhmm. Now I'm like, I didn't get stuck with you. Thank god. Hell, yeah.

Winnie. You know, like Thanks, universe. That clue. Right. You saved me because I would not have been able to deal with that fucking absolute lying piece of shit.

Okay. So what was the purpose? It has nothing to do with dating. It has nothing to do with with our There was no purpose. That's why that clip is so weird to me.

I know you watch it for the drama just like you watch all those reality shows for the drama, but I'm just like, do people not have anything else to do? What are they doing? What is happening? I honestly watch it to make sure none of my guy friends get posted in it. Oh, so you can tell them, hey.

Straighten up. You didn't know. I've seen, yeah, I've seen a few guys that I know, from, like, when I was younger, like, go out and party and stuff, get posted, and I just giggle. Because I'm like, damn. You're still doing the same shit you were doing, like, ten plus years ago?

Wow. Okay. Some of us clearly didn't grow up. Peter Pan. Shocking.

Right. But, like, no. I really just watch it mainly for two individuals that I know, neither of which are dating or at least, you know, that's what they tell me that they're like, not seeing anybody. I'm not dating anyone. I'm not even on a dating site to get posted in there.

But we we made a deal because there's a there's one for girls Hell yeah. For guys. Mhmm. And, where they post girls. And I'm like, are you in that group?

And one of them is. And I was like, alright. So if I get posted in there, you tell me. And if you get posted in here, I'll tell you. I got you back.

Right. I'm not gonna tell you who said what, but I'm gonna tell you that you got posted. Mhmm. So but if somebody's saying something, like, really fucked up shit, you I'll tell you what the fucked up shit says, but I won't tell you the person's name or, you know, anything like that. You'll prop you use your own investigational skills and figure it out because you're gonna know based upon what they're saying, who it is most likely.

Like, but there's there's only two guys that I'd actually be like, yo, and and also defend Yeah. In there. Like, first, what we're not gonna do is slander somebody. That's what we're not gonna fucking do. I don't give a shit if he fucked you once and told you you were a crazy bitch and told you to go fuck off.

Yeah. Truth hurts sometimes. You know? Life's tough. Get a helmet.

You're being a stage five clinger right now. Right. Like crazy. Defcon crazy. Heard some I've heard some stories, man, and I'm gonna be honest.

I don't feel like I'm crazy enough. Like, certain days, I'm like, shit. Do I need to turn up the level of cray? Because, apparently, y'all love the crazy bitches because those are the ones that you're like, will you will you be my girlfriend? And I'm like, she's an absolute fucking nutcase, dude.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you shitting me? And then afterwards, Amy, she was nuts. No fucking shit. I told you that.

Nobody listens to me. One day, people will, and everyone's life will be so much better for it. I'm telling you. Telling you. I know what I'm talking about.

I'm not just being a hater. Like, I don't wanna date you, bro. Like, I'm looking out for you. No. No.

Yeah. Well, sometimes it's just because sex is good or something. Fair. But They can be crazy, but really good in the sex. Yeah.

Sex can't be that goddamn good to where I'm gonna question if I'm gonna wake up breathing or not. Like, I'm sorry. I mean, if you like choking, I mean, then breathing is kind of yeah. It's called breath play. I've never referred to like that You have?

Till right now. Or No. Breath play, hand necklaces, things like that. Hand necklace. Yeah.

Yeah. But breath play, yeah, that's fun. No. You read that in a smut book, didn't you? Of course I did.

But we had this conversation. Like, you even said that that at first, you're like, yeah. Absolutely not. I don't like anything like that. But when someone does it right, there's a difference.

I won't even wear turtlenecks. I refuse to wear fucking turtlenecks. I hate scarves. Can't stand scarves. If you actually watch me, if I have a hoodie or, like, a regular, like, crewneck T shirt on, I constantly pull at the collar if you actually watch.

I was choked as a kid. Well, I I know. I know. But it's just like but if I do it right, it it's alright. I mean, it'd be appealing then.

Yeah. But in general, the neck is a no and I had a tumor in my fucking neck. Yeah. You do. Some neck issues.

I'll I'll give you that. Yeah. Like, it should to me, it's like a you gotta be real trusted, and I mean real trusted, for your hand to go anywhere close to my fucking, like, throat region. We have to be where we can pee in front of each other just fine Right. Where we can fart in front of each other just fine.

You've seen me vomit at least once and be gross and sick at least once, then then maybe you're on the level of Yeah. You could do a little choke choke if you want to. Like, I get I get nervous when I have somebody put a necklace on for me. Like, if I can't get it, I'm like, they could literally strangle my life away with a necklace. Agree.

It's so dramatic. I mean, just a tad. Life's more eventful that way. Again, this is why I need to be the bachelor at ABC. Listen.

Well Unhinged and dramatic. Right. Who does not wanna be choked? Right. I mean, I'd allow it depending on the individual.

You're like, you? Absolutely fucking not. You? Come here, daddy. I'll think about it.

I'll think about it. Let's It might happen. Stick a pin in that and come back to it. Right. Right.

Like, I don't know. I feel like there's certain things you gotta earn. Like, it's not it's not something you get, like, right off the bat. Like, that's not a You you make people earn it, but if it's okay. But here okay.

I get it if it's something that they enjoy, but but, also, if it's something you enjoy, you should be okay. But how do you know if you enjoy it from that person? Like, you you might not. They might not know how what they're doing. That's a thing.

Some people don't know. Yeah. But you'd rather learn that earlier on rather than being here. I gotta earn it. Like I gotta trust you first.

Uh-uh. No. Abs no. I gotta trust you first, bro. No.

Uh-uh. Okay. But what because I'm I'm liable to throat punch you. Throat punch you. No.

Okay. So maybe not the choking thing, but, like okay. Would you would you be okay with someone tying you up? Fuck no. That got real loud.

Sorry. Triggered. Hold, please. K. I'm back.

Do you wanna know why I wouldn't be? Because I know what I would do if I tied someone up. You don't want me to tie you up. I'm going to leave you there because I'm not gonna tie you up. This but it pissed me off.

What why why would you assume they're gonna piss you off? Because that's why I'm gonna would actually each other. Look. There's nothing fun about being tied up. There no.

Absolutely the fuck not. I need to have full control of my limbs just in case you need to get taken out at any given moment. Okay. Blindfolded. I've That's that's I could maybe.

I haven't ever done that, but I could see that being appealing. Okay. I might try to figure out Look, ma'am. Like, at what point are you talking? Okay.

Yeah. These are the things that I enjoy, so I wanna I wanna do these because it makes me feel good, and I like it. And, like, at what point do you have that discussion of, like, these are my these are the things I like. These are either my preferences or my kinks, or these are things I wanna try out. Like, how else are you supposed to know if if if you guys match?

Well, first of all, I just really go off, do I like you? Do I like you enough to sleep with you to the point where if I accidentally got pregnant, I wouldn't be that mad? But I'm really weird, and I'm aware of that. Like, I think more people honestly need to have that notion in their brain before they screw somebody of, if you got me pregnant, would I wanna unalive myself? Not literally.

I don't mean literally. But, like, that like, half of my guy friends have fucking kids from a one night stand, and they can't stand the bitch. And I'm like, but if you thought about it logically, like, would I wanna be stuck with her for a minimum of eighteen years? And that's just a minimum of eighteen. Because in reality, you're stuck with them for fucking life for as long as your kid's fucking breathing or you are, whichever one comes first.

Right? Think about it. Nine times out of 10, your response is going to be no. So then you're not gonna sleep with them, and you don't ever have to worry about that notion. Okay.

But people have babies and then end up divorced. Right. That's just I don't know what that I don't know that recipe. I just know the recipe of I'm just trying to figure out when do you start being open and asking for your own pleasure and rather than just take what they're gonna give you and hope they do it well enough that you like it. Like, that's where I'm having a hard time.

Like like, that's just, like, accepting it and being like, let's see what you got. Let's see what you got rather than being like, hey. I want you to do this. Do this thing. Normally, if the first time was bad, I'm not doing it again anyway.

Like, a just said that, like okay. But we had this discussion too, where do you give it your all your first time, or do you not give it your all your first time? But you just said that if it's not good, that you wouldn't have it. But you know if there's somebody that you just hooked up with, that's absolute fucking trash, and it's never gonna get any better. Like, you know for a fact it is never going to get any better, because that's the cardinal rule.

Right? The cardinal rule. Okay. Cardinal rule is the very first time, you don't give it a 50%. You don't that's how you get lunatics.

That's how you get the loons. That's how you get the stage five clingers that become, like, obsessive stalkerish. Right? I actually had this conversation with somebody I know. He got a stalker because he went above and beyond.

He gave good pee. And she put it yeah. Gave her the d, real good peeing, and she put a air tag on his shit to follow him around. That's what you don't do. Okay.

But that's that's that's You put in enough effort to where they're like, oh, that was enjoyable. But it could be better to where then at at a later date, then you're like, here we go. Here it is. You earned it. You unlocked that fucking key, and now you get the whole magical experience.

Because at this point, you already like me. You're not gonna be obsessive with me afterwards, although sometimes that is also proven to be false. Yeah. But that's not here nor there at the moment. Know if this is is broken down to the science that you may think it is.

I'm broken down to the science. Cardinal rule of fight club is you don't give your best effort the very, very first time ever. But You don't. You don't. No.

Mm-mm. Okay. But I will tell you that I have had the overachiever for the first time where you're just like, oh, we're gonna do every move on the first show too much. To where it was just like, oh, okay. What do we do?

Like, it was so bizarre. Like, it was like, okay. Effer behind and on top, and then, yeah, I'm on top, and then you're and then turn it around and then do this. And then, like, I was like he was just throwing me all over the place. Right?

Yeah. It's too much. It's like, here's all the razzle dazzle. What's gonna happen next time? We gotta do the whole circus routine again.

So disjointed. It was so weird where I was just like, what is happening right now? Like, first time. And it was like, I'm gonna get all of the experience in the first go. Like, I I wanna try this, and I wanna try this, and I wanna try this, and I wanna try this.

Like and it was just like and so it got to the point of where I'm just like, I'm not feeling nothing. I'm not even feeling pleasure at this moment because I'm just like, okay. What's next? It was whirlwind y weird. It was awful.

Feel like at that point, their their whole intention or plan was, like, a hit it and quit it, a one and done. No. So they were like, we gotta get the razzle dazzle all of it out because I'm not doing this shit again. No. It was a long time ago.

Yeah. No. Uh-uh. Fuck that. No.

Like, okay. I get it. There's been some buildup. Because I don't give it away right away. Like, that's not you know?

But there was some buildup. And it was like, you've been imagining this for so long that you don't even have a focus to where you're just, like, flashing through all the things that you want to do, and we're gonna just do them all at once. This is chaotic. Yeah. I know.

So there is also, like, don't give don't don't I do agree with not using all your tricks at one time or or try and do everything once, But I still think you should do the effort. The other thing is is if there's a lot of sexual tension, sometimes things just happen, and it's either gonna click or it's not. Yeah. I could see that. Because there's been another time where it was just like, we can't keep hands off each other.

This is just gonna happen. And I was like, holy shit. That was awesome. You know? So there is a different and that wasn't even the best thing because it didn't last super long because we were just so, you know, intense.

And so But that was this sexual tension that had that was with it. Yeah. If there's if you build up a sexual tension, it's gonna be better overall usually because of the buildup that it took for you to get there. Long foreplay. Like Yeah.

Instead of the, alright. Let's do this. You know, like I met you five minutes ago at the bar, and you were the last one there. So let's let's Yeah. That's never a good idea.

Don't do that, people. Don't I don't know about that life because that's a no thank you for me. But, I just that just seems scary. Don't do that. But, yeah, like, there are certain things that are gonna help, like, either the connection you have with them, the physical connection, the emotional connection, whatever whatever level of connection you have with an individual, it's usually going to help you and not hinder you in that.

Because if you're connected to them, nine times out of 10, you find it more enjoyable. Well, and that too would be, like, the the exception to your cardinal rule of if there's already built up and built up and built up and you're still into this person Oh, yeah. No. See, I still wouldn't think that you could do your all. No?

Nope. I wouldn't. Nope. Absolutely the fuck not. Uh-uh.

No. No. The first time, you aren't you aren't getting my all. You're not. You're you're just not.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. You're like, you're not. Absolutely not. And, you're just absolutely not.

No more discussion on the topic. I mean, we could discuss it. I just for me, personally, no. Because, one Big I don't You you kinda think like like I don't need a clinger. No.

But it's not even about that because, like like you said, you wanna you wanna save it so that I've I've already had get the whole idea of the bar. Tell me they're obsessed with me. Yeah. But, like, if you but if you set that like, I get it if you don't wanna, like, set the bar too high so that you always have to be on your on your game all the time, but, like, but, also, you wanna have a good first impression, enough so that you have a second impression. Alright.

I'm gonna out myself. The only one night stands I've ever had were because that was my choice, not their choice. Yeah. But what They wanted more. I said, no.

Thank you. Was it because they didn't give you their all, or they did give you their all? No. It's just because I was like, oh, no. Thank you.

Like, it just I was drunk also, but it was still a, I'm good. I'm good. I mean, you're also talking to somebody who at one point and I can't believe I'm gonna admit this because this is a fucking secret that I was gonna take to the grave. I've looked at somebody and said, what are you gonna do with that because it's not me and laughed in their face. Yeah.

Sometimes you're just mean. That was honest. But you got but you got to the point of where you where you seen them naked, so you you you let things advance to that point, and then you threw it in their face after you after you got a look at them? Yeah. See?

Sometimes you're mean. Okay. That again, it was honest. It wasn't it wasn't mean. It was honest.

And then the person that I'm no longer friends with that was there looked at the dude that she was sitting next to and goes, you need to go save your friend right now because it's gonna get much worse if you don't. And then they left. Like, it was honest. This was also, like, what, maybe 24 year old version of me that was, like, a alcoholic. Yeah.

At that point. So the lack of a filter was much worse than it is now. Like, I don't really have a filter now. No. I can see that, though.

If you're younger and, you know, there's a knee brace Oh, yeah. This wasn't You're in there's a knee brace involved because I mean, we've all had that moment of where we think everything's good, and the sexual tension's there. And you start getting in the make out mode, and then you kinda have one of those, moments where things just Yeah. Like, things just You rethink. Things just didn't quite meet an expectation, whether it was once once the clothes come off or in the performance.

So, like, I get it. You're like, wow. All of this, like, works. But for some reason, naked, it doesn't work. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, it just like, I'm sorry to that man. I probably hurt his feelings. I don't I don't know. I just, I was being honest.

I was being honest. I don't I don't know. You can be honest without being blunt. Or sarcastic. There was no sarcasm about that.

That was just that was honesty. That was honesty. I mean, but you're also talking to somebody that's punched somebody before, during. Yeah. I don't get that.

Well, it's because he was like, I'm gonna get you pregnant. And I said, no. The fuck you're not. And then he tried to, like, hold me to where I couldn't get out of sex. Yeah.

Absolutely not. So then I Then I punched him. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Like, you're talking to someone who's actually punched somebody.

Like, the whole face, like That's an asshole. So, yeah, you should punch that. Yeah. Yeah. So I punched him.

It was also my boyfriend at the time. Didn't care. Still punched him. But, again, also, 20 year old Amy. Well, not literally 20, but in my twenties.

All of these stories are for me when I was in my twenties. I am damn near 40 at this point, so the maturity level, slightly. Slightly there. Slightly. But the the crazy ass shit I used to do is not recent.

No. Sorry. I don't know. Mute and unmute sometimes. So if you heard me, I was drinking a Sprite.

I need Have you seen that video of, like, the Sprite challenge? Where they drink the entire thing? And then they just, like, belch so like, they can't even, like, do anything about it. You know me. I don't do a whole lot of scrolling as much.

Doom scrolling? Yeah. I don't do that, but there's an occasional time where I'll not be reading a book. And so I'll just and it normally happens when I'm like, oh, I gotta check my accounts. I gotta check my DMs.

I gotta do all these you know, like, or I gotta post a video or something. Right? So I can tell when you're doom scrolling because then that's when I get, like, five or six. Because it's the only time that week I'm probably gonna do it, and I'm just like, Amy will think this is awesome. Uh-huh.

Where I send you, like, five a day. Yeah. Yeah. And it's because I'm not on there enough, and so my for you page just gives me all the goods right off the bat. And I only have to watch, like, less than 20 videos to be like, okay.

I'm done now. You know? And I'm just good to go. But, yeah, I saw that, and I was, like, cracking up. And I'm like, this is so stupid, but I think I needed a a little bit of a mental break.

I was working on a class and all this other stuff. And I was like and I watched it, and I go, sprite challenge. That's hilarious. Do they not realize that it's carbonated? Okay.

But, sure, I'll watch it. And it was just like a a collage of all these different or a montage of all these different people doing, and it made me giggle. And then I saw you drink it, and I was like, oh, I hope she belches into the microphone. No. I'd probably vomit if I did that.

No. That's why I drink Sprite is if I need to burp. That's the whole reason why I drink it. It literally is. So you know if, like, my stomach hurts because I'll have a Sprite.

Well, I use I use there, and I'll start hitting my chest a lot. Yeah. When my stomach hurts, Sprite and, like, salting crackers does it every time. Nope. It just I just give me a Sprite.

and sometimes it'd be, like,: 12:30

And he'd be like, we need to go get you Sprite, don't we? And I'm like, yeah. Like, now. And so he'd go to Kwik Trip, get me Sprite, bring it back, ask me, like, hey. What else do you need?

What else can I get you? He was really good at taking care of me if I didn't feel good. Kudos to him for that. But, yeah, if so if you see me drinking Sprite, it's because I need to burp. Amy's gassy.

We need to we need to help help get rid of it. Yeah. This is this is why you don't eat, certain foods. So we're both on food because now I'm like, oh, I haven't had dinner. You haven't had dinner?

No. I haven't had dinner, and I have bread rising right now, so I need to bake it. What kind of bread? Peasant bread. I'm sorry.

What? Peasant bread. Okay. I thought you said prison bread, and I was like, what the fuck is prison bread? Similar.

Peasant bread, prison bread, whatever you wanna call it. A real thing? Prison bread? Yeah. It's similar.

Yeah. Or, like yeah. The fuck is prison bread? I just thought It means, like, it's just, like, basic. So it's literally flour, yeast, salt, sugar.

That's it. Water. So it's just basic. But it's really good. Like, I cook it because it's really good because you can just, like, make up different olive oils and just dip in it, and it's it's like good snacky bread or charcuterie type bread or things like that.

Wait. We need to go back. I'm clearly not a bread connoisseur even though to me I am because I love bread. Bread's great. There's there's not basic bread, but like, I get, like, everything, like, bagels or, like, cinnamon swirl bread.

Like, I get that. But it What do you do? What makes a bread not basic? Well, most of it is. Like, it's just different different little things in it.

Like, I I make a Tupperware bread too, which is which is more for, like, rolls and things like that. A Tupperware bread? I don't know. That's just what it's always been called. I I'm from the holler, y'all, so I don't know.

It's just we have peasant bread. Who knows? We have peasant bread when you just need for snacking, and then we have Tupperware bread for when, you know, there's a potluck and you need to make rolls, or it's Thanksgiving. So you have to do that. So you gotta make I love this because I'm like white bread, wheat bread, whole wheat, whole grain.

Okay. Yeah. These are white bread options, I guess you'd call it. I go to the grocery store. I don't make bread, so I don't know.

That's why I'm so fascinated by this bread. You can make, like, sourdough bread. You can make like, there's all the different kinds. It just depends on how know, like, banana bread. Yeah.

You can make that's what I know. Bread. You can make zucchini bread. You can make coffee cake bread. You can make all different kinds.

I like zucchini, but zucchini bread doesn't really sound appealing. But I like, like, naan. Naan is for when I make my Middle Eastern food. It's the flat bread. Not quite pita bread, but it's it's the flatbread that you can just, like it's great.

It's almost like So like a tortilla? Not quite, but we do that. Fry bread's really good too or people like, you know, elephant ears. That's just a form of bread too. I've heard that.

I've heard of elephant ears. Yeah. It's just like salt or cinnamon and sugar butter on bread. And it's fry cinnamon toast. But it's fry bread.

So you do fry bread. But fry bread's also good with, like, baked beans or, you know, things like that, pork and beans, that kinda thing. See. And then there's me. I make homemade garlic bread.

And what is that? I pull out two pieces of, just, you know, wonder bread, put it in the toaster, melt some butter and garlic, and then use a spoon and spoon it on the toasted bread. See? You're such a baker. I know.

Right? So artisanal. Artisanal. Or what do they call it? Artisanal.

I used the only thing I really used to bake was brownies. I used to make brownies. Yeah. I like And oat milk sopapilla cheesecake. I used to do that too.

Yeah. I like making cheesecakes. My favorite is in this in the fall, I love making pumpkin cheesecake. That's really good. That sounds delicious.

I have a really good three layered lemon poppy seed cream cheesecake that I do. It's, like, three tiered. It's really delicious. You can apparently only eat that if you don't have a drug test too. A poppy seeds.

I made But get you But I made blueberry muffins the other night just to snack on and things like that. Like like, don't you just like having, like, homemade stuff around? Don't you just, like, do that? Am I weird? But, like No.

It's a party of one for me. And can you make? I'm not good with measurements, so me taking a recipe and, like, cutting it down to where it's only, like, a fourth of it or something to where I don't, you know, make a dozen and then eat one and then throw the other 11 away type of thing. Put them in the freezer and then pop them out when you want them. I wouldn't do it, I'll be honest.

I'm lazy. No. I'm not gonna do that. No. But in our But that's there.

Just a little the way we grew up. We always had, like, homemade stuff. So we like having, like, we have some like, we'll buy some some things like that, but for the most part, like, right now make cookies all the time. Yeah. We make cookies.

Like, right now, I have homemade fudge. I have bread going, and I have, muffins in the morning. I made spaghetti two days ago, and I've eaten it every single day. I spaghetti leftovers are delicious. Like, it's one of the few things that you can have for multiple days, and it still tastes good.

Yeah. By today, for meeting it from for lunch and dinner, I'm kinda over it. Yeah. I get that. So but, again, it's just me, and the amount of spaghetti I make is for damn near, like, a family.

So then I feel like I'm just wasting it all if I don't, like, force feed it to myself, especially by tomorrow. I'll be I'll be over it and won't make spaghetti again for a hot minute. But, I do that. I do that. I have a hard time not not cooking for an army.

You know? Like, oh, good. I made potato soup. We're having potato soup for the next three days, everybody. Everybody have a bowl.

I do that when I make potato soup. I'm like, yes. This is the meal for the next week. Well, because soup is like it's like it's so much easier to make a big batch, and then I don't know. To me, a small thing, you may like, it's a lot of prep and a lot of work for one meal with one bowl each.

You know? Like, that just seems like excessive. Yeah. The only thing I have mastered to, portion for one is breakfast. I can make it where I only have, like, enough pancake batter for just me.

Yeah. And I'm like, perfect. That's the one thing I can portion out so easy is breakfast food. But for a while there, that's all I could afford was to eat breakfast, so I ate breakfast for, like, every single meal. So now it's, like, second nature.

Yeah. I've got Nate on, I've been doing the homemade McMuffins. Oh, yeah. Doing the eggs and the so baking the eggs in the cupcake tins so that they're round, and then the and then round sausages so that he can just build it and put some cheese on it and just go to work with homemade breakfast mammies. That's nice.

Yeah. That's nice. And there's so much easier and better for you than real life. Homemade food tastes so much better than, obviously, like, store bought. Yeah.

But, I live off of store store bought process things because, yeah, it's just me. Yeah. I remember when I was single, like, it's more expensive to keep groceries in the house sometimes than eating. That's why I would I would get stuck on I would just get, like, salads with Mhmm. You can even get a couple of strips of chicken in the deli, and I would just like, that was my meal.

Just Yeah. Yeah. Like, if I go to a restaurant yeah. If I go to a restaurant and depending on said restaurant, I can eat that same meal three days in a row, and it might have cost me $15 when I bought it. Mhmm.

But that's $5 a day Yeah. Because I'm eating it for three days straight. Which is cheaper than buying all the ingredients. Uh-huh. Yeah.

And keeping them fresh. And unless you're really good at prepping and storing and putting things in Tupperware and freezing stuff, which you have to do on. Meal prep. Yeah. I used to do that once a week, go to the store, buy all the things.

And every Sunday, I would be in the kitchen for, like, three hours cooking and portioning and doing all of that stuff. It worked. Honest. I ended up Yeah. It worked.

I didn't even stay on it. I wasted so much food. Really? Because yeah. Because I would make, like, salmon and, like, grilled chicken or something or, like, meatballs or something.

And by the second or third day, I'm like, I'm not eating this shit. I'm I'm not it tastes old. It tastes gross. I'd I'd rather make it fresh if I'm gonna eat it because I don't I'm not big on microwaved food. I don't like microwaving stuff.

It's it alters it. It changes the flavor to me. So, like, if I'm heating up, like, asparagus and salmon in a microwave after I cooked it microwave fish? No. Mm-mm.

Yeah. Like, gross. You know, certain things But now that air fryers are bigger, you could always reheat in air fryers, and it would probably do much better. Yeah. Like, I can reheat breakfast food.

Like, I have reheated sausage, pancakes Yeah. Eggs, hash browns in the microwave, and it tastes the exact same. But, like, meats and stuff, I so I I stopped because I was wasting a lot of money. A lot of money. Yeah.

Meal lot. In that way, it might be easier just to prep all the sides, and then whatever your main protein is, just cook it that night while you're heating everything else up. Yeah. But, well, again, the Clock app, there was a video where because, like, even frozen pizzas, like, a whole frozen pizza, that's a lot for me. I only eat a couple slices, and I'm like, alright.

I'm done and don't want anymore. But then, Jordan, I believe, is his name. Well, that's part of his name on the clock app. He was like, did you know you could just cut a slice of pizza, throw it in the oven, and just cook that one slice, and then put the rest of it back in the freezer because it's still frozen. So, like, he took it, snapped it in half, put one half on the, like, pizza pan, put in the oven, cooked it, wrapped the other one back up, and, like, sealed it in, like, a Ziploc bag or something, put it back in the freezer.

And you're going, brilliant. Right. I'm like, that's fucking genius. Why didn't I think of that? The hell?

I don't have to throw away this much pizza because I'm not gonna eat it? I coulda just been doing this the entire time? The entire time? Like, seriously, bro? Yeah.

But now they started making you can tell that there's more single people in the world now because there's a lot of there's a lot more, like, individual meals. Oh, yeah. There's much less family size stuff, and family size stuff is not actually family size for the most part. No. The only family size that I've noticed is maybe cereal.

That's Yeah. But if you even like like, half of it's just packaging now. Yeah. That's true. That's true.

I say it because I just bought a box of cereal that was family size. I was like, oh, it was like a little slice of a while. Let's say you got three kids, family size. Oh. That's, like, two days of maybe two days of breakfast.

You don't buy more than one cereal at a time? Is that just me? Oh, no. You have to have multiple different kinds because what if you want sweet, and what if you want chocolate, and what if you want Yeah. I did I was about to say that's that'll last you more than a couple days if you have multiple options.

If that's the only option, then, yeah, it's not a lot of options. Saying, like, one box. Oh, okay. I was like, hold, please. Like, wait.

The math is not mathing to me right now. I need options. I did think about you, though, because I did eat Cheerios the other day. Wait. Honey Nut Cheerios or regular They were the regular ones, but then I re I was sitting there eating it.

It was, like, late at night too, and I go, remember when Amy said that she adds extra honey on top of Honey Nut Cheerios? What a weirdo. And I'm just sitting there eating. It's just like, you have to. I had them the other day, and I about had a conniption because I was like, if I don't have any extra fucking honey, I don't know how I'm gonna eat these.

And then I found the honey, and I was like, yes. Thank you. And Mm-mm. Crisis averted. That just seemed they're already flavored and sugared.

They what? But they're not. They still just taste like paper shavings. No. They don't.

I am. Yours are, like, super sweet to me. But you but you have to understand, like, I don't eat sweet stuff. Like, a bite of a candy bar will send me. I'm like, okay.

That's all I can handle. You know? There's Oh, yeah. There's very few things that I can eat a lot. Like, give me a couple of tummy bears, like or or cinny bears.

I can eat, like, three three cinny bears and be fine. But, like, some of the other stuff candy, I can only have, like, one or two pieces, and that's even pushing it. Yeah. I still have candy from when you were here. Oh, which ones?

I'd have to get out of here. Did you finally eat all the Oreos that I was Nope. I ended up throwing them away because they went bad. No. I did not.

I don't I go in spurts where I really like sweets Mhmm. And then I can't stand them. I'd my mom didn't let me have candy as a kid. Mhmm. Mhmm.

She would tell me, it was, like, medicine or something. She'd make like, it was gross. She'd make up something because she didn't want the kids screaming at the checkout lane about why they couldn't get the candy bar. Mhmm. So, I've never been a big candy or cake person.

So now as an adult, I'll go in spurts where certain days I'll be like, I really want chocolate cake. I think you could probably figure out when the spurts occur as to when I'm like, I really want, like, chocolate cake and chocolatey things and chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate. I wonder. Because I may have I don't know. Yeah.

Maybe? Yeah. I went to nothing but nothing bundt cakes and got a I was in there, and I knew I wanted the chocolate chocolate chip bundt cake. I knew that's what I wanted because it was chocolate chocolate chip, and I was like, it's it's going down. And I'm standing there.

The lady in front of me goes, is that a chocolate covered strawberry one? And they're like, yeah. It's just a limited time for Valentine's Day. And then there's me, oh, we're getting that. We are getting that.

And so I ate almost all of the, chocolate covered strawberry one within two days. And then the chocolate chocolate chip one, I ate, like, three or four bites, and then it sat in my fridge because I was over it by that point. And we're done. Okay. Mhmm.

Everything else Mhmm. The train has left the building. We're done. Yeah. I'm like, we're it's it's very short lived.

I'm not a big candy person. Like, most people, you know, when you go to the movies, you're like, oh, we need the popcorn and the candy. Nope. Mm-mm. No.

I'm not. The popcorn, like, I don't know about you, but popcorn lately, it ends up being more of a hassle than it's worth because I'm picking it out of my teeth forever, it feels like. Yeah. Yeah. It actually hurts my stomach.

Yeah. Too much of it gives you a major stomachache. Mhmm. So, because I went and saw Wicked in theaters. I went and saw Wicked multiple times in theaters, but we're not gonna talk about that.

And when I went the first time, I was like, I have to get popcorn. And I ordered a small popcorn, and I was like, why is this so huge? I shoulda got the kid size where it's, like, literally just a scoop. Mhmm. And then I had to get a side of nacho cheese to dip the popcorn in.

I know so many people that are listening are like, you're fucking disgusting for that, but try it and then come talk to me. How do you tip the wait. Like, the nacho cheese that they put on the nachos and, like, the pretzels and stuff? Uh-huh. You dip popcorn in nacho cheese.

It is delicious, and the girl in high school that taught me that trick, when she told me, I was like, you're absolutely fucking disgusting. And she goes, try it because we were at the movies. And so I did. And then I looked at her and I was like, you were the smartest person I know. Well, I I can imagine because I like flavored popcorns.

Like Mhmm. Like, I like Kettle corn's my favorite. Kettle corn's good. But white From a carnival. White cheddar, like, popcorn or even the cheddar popcorn.

Caramel corn's oh, I love caramel corn. Yeah. Chicago is real has real famous, popcorn place. I can't remember the name, and it's not the mainstream one that everyone gravitates to. It's where my mom and them live, and they have, like, a specialty where they mix cheddar and caramel corn together.

Mhmm. But the cheddar's, like, real legit cheese because you can pull it and it you'll watch it. You can see it string. Oh, so it's not the powder stuff? No.

And it's so good. Even mixed with caramel corn, because you're like cheese and caramel corn, that's fucking weird. You can buy that now at the Costco. I was just at Costco earlier. Yeah.

They have eat they have a mix now where it's called. Wait. And how'd you how'd you just say Costco? The Costco. You say it like my mom.

She calls it Costco. Like, you have to get the tea in there, and I'm like, yeah. Costco. And she's like, you're not saying the tea. And I'm like, okay.

She's like, it's Costco. Like, you have to get the Costco. Yeah. It's from the Costco. There's me.

I'm going to Costco. Like, it's it's like c o s c o, Costco. There's no tea. Yeah. You can you can find it there.

I can't remember what the name of it is, but they have and it's a bag, and it's a mix of both. And it is delicious, and you'll eat so much. You're sick, but it's so good. It's so good. Don't you love it?

In a blue bag. Mhmm. It's, like, in a blue bag, I think. Mhmm. And it's like those huge ass freaking bags.

It's great. Yeah. But that's that's what again, see? So this just brings us full circle because that's, like, one of those dumbassery moments, you know, like mine where, you know, put a contact in the wrong fucking eyeball where you know if you eat too much of this popcorn, your stomach's gonna hurt. Oh, yeah.

But you should have that. Yeah. Because you're being a dumbass, and you're just eating it, not thinking. And then afterwards, when you're like, I hate my life. Why did I do that?

You're like, shit. I shouldn't have done that. I should've worked. Things because, like Mhmm. It's the same thing with, like like, I don't like Doritos.

But if I eat a Dorito, I will eat all of the Doritos because I can't I think they put crack in it. I don't know. They put something in it. I only like Cool Ranch Doritos. Nacho cheese got played out for me.

Yeah. But but, you know, stuff like that or, like Mhmm. Certain, like Yeah. Because it's certain such shit. Mindless, which becomes mindless.

Yeah. Basic Lay's potato chips, you just can't stop. You know, like, there's a lot of different things. See, and that's why I started buying the salt and vinegar chips when I want chips because you can only eat so many. Before your tongue starts bleeding.

Yep. You know your cutoff is, like, four chips, and that's the only amount you need anyway. So, like, you gotta sometimes you gotta do stuff with intention. Right. For me, it's those chips or jalapeno flavored chips, which I'd never actually thought I would like, but they're actually really good.

But, again, you can only eat so many before you're like, alright. I can't eat another Yeah. Like, those Hawaiian Maui onion chips, they're so they like, they can only have so many. Same with their barbecue. It's like there's so much flavor that you can only have too much until they your your mouth starts hurting a little bit.

Mhmm. But it's delicious. Okay. Let me ask you this. Do you ever just stop eating because you get tired of chewing?

I did that the other day. This so so what happened was is we ordered a pizza or we got a piece I can't remember what it was. But for some reason, it was so chewy that me and Nate just ate the parts with the toppings on, and we were just tossing the crust because it was so like, he he's sitting there, and and he's just like, okay. And and I'm sitting there, and and he goes, I'm tired of chewing this. And I go, me too.

It was Yeah. So, technically, yes. Yeah. There's times I'll I'll yeah. I get it because I'll be eating something, and then I'll just say, like, I'm done.

And my mom would be like, why? And I'd be like, my jaw hurts. I'm tired of chewing. Mhmm. Mhmm.

And she's like, seriously? And I'm like, yeah. She's like, are you still hungry? And I'm like, yeah. But I'm just tired of chewing.

I'm over it. So just stop eating whatever it was, which might explain why now I just eat, like, a shit ton of apple sauce. I'm going back to baby food. That that's where I'm going. Easily.

You can just drink it. Right? Alright, my dear. We're we're we're back to food and eating dinner, and I have bread to break bread to break. Bread to bake.

All the fun stuff. Yes. Well, thank you everybody for joining us for another episode of So What Happened was where we talk about absolutely nothing, like, two people, just But all the things all the fun. At the same time. You're more than welcome to join us for our next phone call.

Yeah. But have a good day, and love you. Bye. Bye.