Friends, Foes and Family Episode 3 So What Happened Was...

And we're back to Hot dog. Episode three. So what happened was there's a lot of so what happened was with me recently. I don't know about you. But Oh, same.

Yeah. So what happened was is I encountered a past friend Oh. From over a decade ago. Mhmm. It was unpleasant.

Oh, no. That's not good. That's not good at all. That's yeah. Okay.

But, like, seriously, like, we all deal with this where we come up with people from our past that we have to or that we randomly reencounter with. Mhmm. And then you have, like, the gut reaction. And then you have, like, the throat crunching? The the secondary reaction of where you're like, oh, yeah.

And then you have the third reaction of resolve of where you're like, yeah. You're still the same person, and no. You know? Like, we're no longer friends for a reason. That kinda energy.

Mhmm. So am I the only one that encounters this when you when you meet, like, someone like, the you you hear about this all. Oh, someone from your past is coming back. You know? Like, that type of an energy.

I don't want anybody from my past coming back. If if I wanted them to come back, I go searching them out and looking for them. I mean, it's one thing if, you know, you just, you know, split, and then you move a couple times and you lose touch or something. But if if a relationship just or relationship ended for a reason, when they show back up, you're just like, oh, shit. No.

You throw a punch them. Yeah. Easy. Life motto. No.

Usually, I'm gonna be honest. If I there there's a few friendships that have ended. At one point, they were it didn't end well, but then we were able to, like, be cool a few years later. Yeah. But it it it was still super awkward.

And, like, we're still cool now, but we and when I say we're still cool, I mean, like, if we saw each other in public, we'd probably say, hi. How are you? And then god with a cool Yeah. Randomly message each other on, like, Instagram or Facebook or something, especially if, like, a old memory pops up, you know, or, like, somebody that I used to be really close with, they got engaged. I, you know, told them congratulations.

Mhmm. But those are people where it kinda the friendship ended kind of ended bad. And then we talked and, you know, everything was fine. We're cool, but I wouldn't say we're, like, friends now. But there's a few where Shmurda might occur, and I've literally not seen them since words were exchanged and pretty much said you're dead to me.

Yeah. Because I'm really good at, pretending people don't exist. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but if I don't fuck with you, I don't fuck with you. Like Cardi said, you know, I don't even remember the lyric right now. I'd have to look.

But she was just like, basically, if I don't fuck with you, you're dead to me. Like, I don't even see you, and I feel the same way. If I don't like you, I don't I'm not gonna acknowledge you. I'm not gonna talk to you, and I will walk right past you like you don't exist. Even if you go, hi, Amy.

I will still stay straight faced, walk right past you. Did anybody see that? No? No? Nobody heard that?

I don't know who you're talking to because I don't I mean, I can you know, I can whatever. We'll talk to some dead people occasionally, but, you know weird when it kinda catches you off guard. Like, your initial thing is a bit of shock. Mhmm. And then also, like, are you trying to talk to me?

What? Right. The audacity alone. You're approaching me? Why?

Mhmm. That's when you just throw a punch up. They'll literally never do it to anybody else again. You just unfortunately had to be the one to teach them that lesson. I'm not saying violence is a good thing, but sometimes it might be the answer.

Take that for sure. I'm not that way, but, man, like, it it feeds onto different parts of my personality where where this person did know me that well Mhmm. That they knew that, one, I wouldn't make a scene. Two, I'm so forgiving and so, like like, let bygones be bygones. Like, I don't hold on to stuff like that.

You know? Mhmm. So then after after that, I was like, the audacity that you think that you still have the privilege of my you know Mhmm. I don't know, my forgiveness or my Yeah. Kindness or whatever.

Like, you're playing on that. You're you're gonna push on that. You're gonna kinda corner me and put me in a position to where if I react, I look like the crazy one because of the same person. I'm just like it's like getting corner. I'm like, going, yeah.

You're still the same person. You're you're no. No. See, you know, that's that point where it's kinda just like, if you if you whispered, you're a stupid bitch, fuck off, would anybody really have heard you? And it wouldn't have been call causing a scene.

And it just would have been, you're stupid bitch. Fuck off. Your mother's a whore. Like, I feel as though these words need to be, like, in your vocabulary more. You know they're not, though.

You know they're not. I know. But in my head, one day, they will be. And one day, it's just gonna fly out of your mouth like your mom's a whore. And they're gonna be like, what?

Katie, Lou, what? And you're gonna be like, I said what I said. One day, it's gonna happen. Just like one day, I'm gonna be a complete. And I'm like, what?

Did they really mean to do that, or maybe they were having a bad day? It's gonna happen. Just as much as I'm gonna be a model, one day you're gonna tell somebody their mother's a whore or to go fuck themselves. We need to just keep keep this friendship going a little bit longer till we find the happy medium somewhere. Yeah.

It's eventually, it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. I don't think today it will. Maybe not even tomorrow, but, eventually, we're gonna get there. And It might take me getting a boyfriend for me to get there?

Possibly. But even with that, that's questionable. That is questionable. Like, like, a boyfriend's gonna tame you. Seriously.

You know, you'd be surprised, actually. I calm down a lot when I'm in a relationship. But, usually, it's because I get in and I'm gonna quote, you know, like, air quote that trouble because it's like you run your mouth because it's happened multiple times, not just once, that somebody told me you're gonna run your mouth and you're gonna get me in a fight because you can't fight. And I'm like, who said I can't fight? I have a car.

You can just run them over. It's fine. Like and they were like, no. That's not how this works. And I'm like but they're like, you're gonna run your mouth to the wrong one.

And I'm like, and that's the day I'm a get my ass whooped. But until that day, I'm gonna let you know what I think. They're literally telling you the Top Gun line of, like, you're writing checks your ass can't cash or whatever. And they're like, and I'm the one who has the pay for it. Yeah.

Yeah. And then there's me. Well, good thing you can fight. Like fine. Well, good thing you can fight, and you act like I'm gonna leave you hanging.

Just jump on somebody too. Shut what? Shut up. Stop antagonizing. Right.

And I'm like, but they're being a dumbass. They're like, but you don't need to tell somebody who's telling they're being a dumbass. Like, yesterday while driving, right, you know, out in the streets going skirt skirt, this person who doesn't believe a stop sign is a thing and apparently thought it was optional decided to just, you know not even California stop the stop sign. They just proceeded into the street, almost hitting me. Then, because, obviously, you have a horn, I laid on the horn, they decided to slam on their brakes and look around, like, astonished.

Should you be fucking driving? I may or may not have asked that when I pulled up next to them and looked over at them and said, should you be fucking driving? You're a fucking idiot. And they just looked terrified. And I'm like, no.

You shouldn't. No. The fuck you shouldn't. Whoever gave you your license is a moron. You're an idiot.

The fuck is wrong with you? Okay. But yes. Here, I'm doing the same thing again. Are you telling me that you've never just spaced a stop sign before ever?

Ma'am, I've had too many tickets to space anything. We're lucky I still have a license. Okay? So what would you do if someone rolled up on you and said, should you be fucking driving? I don't think so.

Be like, see, difference between me and you is I like to go over the speed limit, not under it. I go over it. That's where all my tickets came from, was going over the speed limit. I am a 35. And a 35.

Most of the time, I am a speed limit rule follower. Yeah. The older I've gotten, five over. Yeah. Five five's about max.

Mhmm. Five's about max unless I'm going with the flow of traffic like when I had to do travel this week. And everybody's going that speed. It's like, if I don't, I'm gonna get freaking hit because I'm not going with the flow. Right?

But Yeah. For the most part, especially a tickets, they're not worth it. They No. Not when you pay double because you get so many that you have to pay double so that way you can still have a license. Yeah.

Like, the cost and then the insurance and then everything else, it's a racket. And I'm just like, it's not worth it to me to get there a minute and a half earlier. It's not. Yeah. Because that's pretty much what it ends up being.

Mhmm. Yeah. I'm almost at, I think I'm almost at my last speeding ticket falling off my record now because I didn't pay double on that one because I didn't want to. I think I got a year or two left. I don't really remember.

I just remember I got it when I was on my way to my second job. And I wasn't even going there to work. I was going there to shop. And it was because I was kinda racing this old lady because she pissed me off. You're racing.

I needed to get over. She wouldn't let me over. And instead of like, every time I would speed up, she would speed up. Every time I would slow down, she would slow down. So I was like, fuck it and gunned it, not realizing there was a cop because they were on a motorcycle hiding.

And then I hear boop boop, and I was like, fuck. And then I went in my job and was laughing hysterically. They're like, what's so funny? I was like, I just got a ticket. And they're like, why is that putting all old lady.

I was when I was racing this stupid bitch. And they were like, what? And I was like, okay. Hypothetically, really not racing. It was more she was being a bitch, so I was like, I'm gonna out bitch this bitch, and, nope, I got fucked.

So lesson learned, which is why I don't speed like that anymore. Lesson learned. Look at that. Well, occasionally, I should say. There are certain times I'll look down and be like, oh, whoops.

Brake. Let's hit the brake. Going a tad fast. I remember riding with you. Like, I wasn't freaking out with your driving or anything like that.

Have you ever had driven with someone that freaked you out? Like, I there's certain people that terrify me in the car. Yeah. This past week when I was in Chicago, I am so sorry to my sister. There's a couple times I was like, oh my god.

Oh my god. Pushing the invisible brake pedal. But When you do the, like, moving your foot or grabbing the ocean handle. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm like, don't freak out. Don't freak out. But mind you, I I don't like driving in the snow. Like, I really don't. The times that I have been in accidents were in the snow and ice.

I was always the passenger. I wasn't the driver. So and it happened when I was a kid. So I tend to freak out more as a passenger in the snow then. But I will say one thing about Chicago.

Their streets are clean, and I mean clean. It was maybe thirty minutes into it just snowing, and they were clean. Like, it was insane, and then I got irritated because I'm like, Kansas, Missouri. What the fuck? We get the same goddamn weather.

What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't y'all this prepared? I understand we're not as as heavily populated, but come on. What the fuck? But, yeah, her driving was the only time and it was in the snow.

But, again, that's just from past bullshit. But my sister's actually a really good driver. She also too has a lead foot and likes to go real fast. But, also, in Chicago, everyone there likes to go real fucking fast. Yeah.

Driving in the snow never bought, but I grew up, like like, I would be driving to the mountain to go snowboarding, like, every weekend. And so I just learned to it's a little bit more like watching out for people who don't know how to drive in the snow that were always the problems. It wasn't me. Like, I if I went into a spin or a skid, I knew how to counteract those and stuff because Mhmm. I was doing it all the time.

Right? And so, it also depends on if you have front wheel, rear wheel, all wheel. You know? Like, all of those other things. And so with front wheel, you can do a lot, you know, to Mhmm.

Get out of skids and stuff. And so but it was other people who would be sliding, and you're trying to not get hit by people being dumb. And it's like you said, should you be driving? You know? If you don't know what you're doing, get out of the way because all of us are trying to get to the mountain right now.

Can you just be chill? You know? Like, we're all I'm like, dude. We're trying to get to the mountain, man. Like, learn how to drive, you know, like, that whole thing.

Mhmm. I would Yeah. And see later snowboarder kids. So yeah. No.

Not I. There's snow. I'm not going. I don't like the snow. I don't like the cold.

I don't the frozen form of precipitation, not a fan Not a fan. At all. No. Well, we get freezing rain out here where we'll have ice storms. And stuff like that.

And so and because of stuff out here, they don't treat the roads or anything. They don't even have plows and stuff like that that they I think we have some plows, but they're not ridiculous. If if it snows, it'll freeze, and then it'll snow on top. So then you just have and everybody just stays in. Yeah.

When we had the blizzard on December, January. I don't know. I think it was December, was it? I think it was two. I think it was Christmas time.

I think it was. December. Yeah. Or right after Christmas, right in between either way, that was hell. That was my living in hell.

Yeah. You didn't leave the house for, like, a week. Right? No. And I was going stir crazy.

Were there some people like, COVID. Right? It kinda reminded me of COVID. Like, you're just in your house. You're not doing anything.

You're just there. But I worked during COVID also, and I worked from home then too. I was not one of the lucky employees that got furloughed and got six, six week paid vacation. I worked there too. Yeah.

So I was working. So whenever all of my coworkers like, I feel so great and refreshed to be back at work, I was like, eat a bag of dicks. Shut the fuck up. This is what happens when you're good at your job. You get to keep working.

Thanks. To where yeah. That week that week was rough, and, like, I enjoy my new place. Like, I love it. Yeah.

I'm like, this is great. Like, even was it yesterday? I walked in my bedroom, and I was like, holy shit. I fucking live here. Like, I've lived here for a minute now, and it's still, like, certain days.

I'm like, holy shit. I live here. But that week, I was like, if I don't get the fuck out of this goddamn house. Well, you couldn't even walk down the stairs because the stairs were ice. Right?

Yeah. Stairs were ice. They weren't, putting salt down. The elevator was broken. Couldn't use the elevator.

Like, I'm very thankful my dog hates the snow as much as I do because I could just open the balcony door and go go to the bathroom. And she would because it was coated in snow, and she wouldn't care. Yeah. She didn't notice that it wasn't grass or dirt or whatever. Yeah.

Snow, she does not care. She will step two feet out and use it. I she does not care. I'm like, you're just like me. We don't like the cold.

Thank you. Where I have, like, a friend whose dog will just wanna be outside all day. I mean, because they're a husky, so obviously Mhmm. You know, big giant ball of fur. Yeah.

They're like, I wanna go lay in the snow. Right. For, like, at first Seamus Seamus will lay in the snow. Like, he's just having the time of his life. I'm, like, going, why?

Yeah. I mean, I get it because he's a big floofer with a lot of hair. Yeah. So I get it. No.

He can he can take below freezing temperatures and just be fine. No. Uh-uh. Mm-mm. No.

My descendants were born close to the Equator. We like the heat. So, I need the heat. Like, today, it's, like, 64 degrees out here. Yeah.

Mind you, it was just negative two, like, four days ago. That's a sling. The Midwest is fun. Let me tell you. It's a great time.

It's great. Great. It's fun had by all, and that's all sarcasm because I fucking hate it. I hate it. Like, it's the only place where it's like, oh, it snowed twenty four hours ago.

Oh, today, it's 75. Wear shorts. And you're like, what the fuck? The weather's just bipolar as the people. And now you understand why everyone out here is crazy.

Yeah. Out here, we'll experience every season in a single day pretty regularly, honestly. See, I couldn't I couldn't deal. Yeah. I can barely deal with it here.

Mhmm. So and then you guys don't have plows on top of that? Absolutely the fuck not. Nope. I will come visit in summer.

In a bubble. In a bubble with a lot of allergy medicine. Nope. Because it was yesterday, I was like I started sneezing a bunch, and I was like, fuck. It's happening.

I need to go pick up Flonase. Damn it. Have you thought about doing the the acupuncture thing to see if they will do it or if your insurance will cover it or anything like that? I haven't checked to see if insurance will cover it, but I have thought about doing it. I've looked at Groupons and because I'm like to test it out, I feel like Groupon is decent.

But I need to save all of my dollars currently to fix my vehicle because it's broke y. So I'm not doing anything extra besides buying food Yeah. And, you know, toiletries or cleaning supplies because you gotta be able to clean your house and stuff, which I don't know about you, but, like, whenever it gets, like, super, super nice out, I feel a need to clean everything. Yeah. I mean, you hear about, like, spring cleaning, that kinda energy.

We we've been stuck, and so you wanna kinda open the windows and air everything out. Mhmm. At least I do. But Yeah. I think it's pretty pretty natural.

It's kind of the energy of the season. True. Very true. I mean, granted, when it was negative too, if I felt like the inside of my house had, like, a lot of pressure in it Mhmm. I'd open the door for a while.

And I didn't even care that I was letting a bunch of cold air in because I'm like, nope. We must get the pressure out because of my head. So I've been doing that, but I cleaned everything. And when I say I cleaned everything, I legitimately mean I cleaned everything. Couch, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, living room, everything.

It was to the point where I was like, I didn't wanna buy a steam mop. Again, I can't because I need to fix my car. So but I'm like, no. If I had a steam mop, my floors would be extra, extra clean because it feels like it's robot vacuum had a mop on it. It does, but it's not a steam mop.

Oh. This this is this is like the OCD germaphobe kicking in of I've seen way too many TikToks of people, like, cleaning their walls with the steam mop or, like, how easy it is to clean, like, shower or your glass stovetop and all of a sudden. I'm like, oh. I'm kinda easily influenced by, appliances and kitchen gadgets. Those ads are really hitting the mark for you.

Yeah. Because it's like, here's sweatpants, and I'm like, oh, those look nice. Here's a steam mop. And I'm like, oh, we're right up my alley. We got sweatpants and stuff.

Online shopping addiction or something like that? Or I would say yes if I purchase stuff. I would say I more so have a window shopping addiction. You buy things on whims? Yeah.

I'm very impulsive, but I'd kinda just put things in a cart and let it sit there. Oh. And then just forget about it eventually or go, oh, it's on clearance for $4. Now I'll buy it. That's kind of my thing.

I don't like paying full price for anything because No. Shit's too expensive now anyway. No. I think that I do the same thing, but I save up all my money for like, I'm not one who need I mean, you know me. Like, we make all of our food.

We don't eat out. We don't do things like that. But, also, I save all my money for tattoos. Yeah. I really need a tattoo.

I really want one. That's what I should be saving. Again, car too. Save for car. Then after that, maybe by my birthday, I'll be able to afford a tattoo.

Yeah. Although Oh. Been long enough for me. I'm starting to feel the itch. You know?

Like, I need another hit type of an energy of, like, I need a tattoo. I need one. It's been I think I'm over a year and a half, almost two years now with that one. That's too long for me. That's too long.

I think I think I'm closer to, like, six or seven. Oh, wow. You got more restraint than I do. Yeah. No.

She's called being broke. I know. That's why I haven't. After the last one, the last one took the last one was expensive. So Yeah.

And I want a whole, like, thigh piece. Oh, yeah. But I have to design it, and I'm so particular. And I haven't been able to figure out exactly the look I want. Mhmm.

So I think that's also what's kinda helped me not go get a tattoo. Although, I do want the unlimited one Yeah. On my arm. And that one, I got quoted by one person. Like, it should be under a hundred bucks.

Like, with tip. It shouldn't be more than Yeah. So I was like, that one, I could foresee sooner than later. Mhmm. Because I originally was gonna go in Chicago, but literally twenty no.

Forty eight hours before I was supposed to go, my car shit out. So that got waived. New plan. Yep. Fixed car.

Fixed fixed car or, you know, in my brain, Just get a new one. Seems simpler. But no. I'd okay. So we know I doom scroll.

Right? Yeah. It's not it's not something I'm proud of. I doom scrolled. I came across this post.

Don't ask how I came across this post because for the record, my doom scrolling on the clock app lately, I've built put laid all of these bricks for my algorithm, and it was hot guys and funny, like, people falling down, like funny things, and, like, dogs and cute farm animals that I keep trying to convince you to get. Right? Yeah. We have the baby lamb. We're good.

I know. I'm so excited. See? This is why I can stop. Because after I just really wanted you guys to get a loon just because it was called a loon, and then it made a funny noise.

But, anyways, I somehow, in my doom scrolling that I do for we're not gonna say the amount of time, Land on little nuggets. This girl got mailed a pillowcase to fart on, and the guy was gonna pay her a grand. What? Yeah. I never caught I don't know how.

Like, where do you find these people? Know. We need to find these people. Right. And I'm like instantly, I'm like, if you fart, they will come.

It's not a the field of dreams is really where you went. For a thousand dollars, it is the fucking field of dreams, goddamn it. It sure is. It sure the fuck is. I may or may not have had the same conversation with, one of my friends earlier today, just letting them know because they were, you know, talking to me about, like, my car since, you know, kinda have their car right now on loan.

That's a whole different story and a whole different ballgame. But, like, I may or may not have was like, so there's this thing. And they're like, a fart pillowcase turns into a foot picture. A foot picture turns into a nipple. A nipple turns into a full nude.

And they're like, it's a gateway. And I'm like, it is not a goddamn gateway. If somebody asked you to fart on a pillowcase for a thousand dollars, you would say no. No. I would do it.

I'm sorry. I don't know what kind of person that makes me, but okay. Right. Cash out me first, and then Right. I'll send it over.

And I'm over here saying, I'm not just delivering weed's a gateway drug because that's been like, the old folks stand weed is a gateway drug. No. It's not. You're just like, this doesn't do enough for me. What else you got?

And then you go from there, dumbass. Your coping mechanism wasn't coping. That's that's Right. Yeah. Right.

No. No. I know plenty of people that have only ever smoked weed. Yep. And they will only ever smoke weed.

Yep. Like, they don't do anything else. I've also met some people that do a lot of things that I question their judgment, but that's them, not me. And, you know You did. I am gonna judge.

Yeah. Right. I'm gonna judge you. But as long as it doesn't affect me, I really don't give a fuck at the same time. But just know I will judge you, especially how you act if you're on whatever substance it is.

Yeah. But, anyways, I was like, if I farted on five pillowcases, that's $5. But you have to have five five people to do it that want it. I'm pretty sure there's a girl who sells her farts in jars and makes over 6 figures a year by farting in a jar. No.

Yes. She pulled the receipts. She pulled bank statements. People like okay. Okay.

Let's say you do that. How do you find the weirdos that want fart jars? That's where we're at because I don't know. Well, we need to research. I know.

It's in research and development right now. But my brain, we're gonna have the number one podcast, and we're gonna get paid from this, and we're gonna get paid obviously way more than a thousand dollars for it, obviously. So I'd we need to find the people. Right? And then the person Like, there's like, to me, at this point, maybe this is controversial, but I see nothing wrong with that.

If someone wants to pay you for that, do it Yeah. If you feel comfortable with it. If you don't, they say no. But Yeah. I'm not gonna judge anybody who does that sort of thing.

Like, it's the same thing with people who wanna be, shit talked and pay girls to Mhmm. Pretty much berate them or whatever. Get it. If someone wants me to do that, I'll be more than happy to. Just just Mhmm.

Just contact us. I'll be more than happy to talk shit, and you can pay me, you know, hundred bucks an hour. We're good. Mhmm. Yeah.

Well, I meant, like like, certain things I get, you know, like, okay. If it's on the Internet, it lasts forever. Like, certain things I get. I understand. However, I'm pretty sure just to pay, just based on my TikTok page alone, I've made an ass out of myself more often than not with the dumb shit I'd say and on my Snapchat.

I mean, those delete, we think. We don't really know what they believe. Do we know anything anymore? No. Right.

I probably have a few sitting in a database right now, especially here lately after I finished watching fucking squid games. Because, again, you can't convince me it's not real. You can't convince me that Epstein Island, they weren't playing fucking squid games on that goddamn island. Well, there was, like, that old, like, eighties or nineties movie where where rich people hunted humans so that they could strategize, and it was, like, better prey for them. I mean, whatever.

I I I what And that's what Squid Games ends up being is a bunch of fucking rich dudes betting on, like, they're, like, picking a horse is how they say it in the show of who's gonna win or who's gonna, you know, survive this round or this game and, like, all of this shit? Because, the at the very end where they kinda, like, laid it out there, dude was like, when you have so much money that you can do whatever you want, what do you do? In the military me to fart in a jar for you. That's what be that'd be really nice. If you're just gonna throw money away at different shit.

You know? Right. I mean, shit. I think it would be better to pay somebody to fart on a pillowcase or fart in a jar as opposed to betting on you know? Are they gonna get offed in this next child's game they're getting ready to play?

Like Well, that's because you have some morals or ethics. I don't know. Yeah. Value human life. I don't know.

Right. Just don't hurt anybody. You know? Like I think that's why because it's not hurting anybody. If, like, I mean, even the stuff that you said about, you know, the Internet lasts forever, I'm not gonna last forever.

So No. Enjoy. You know? No. If you're if you're that interested in what I've been done online and what what I've got going on Mhmm.

Sorry for you that that's the only entertainment you have. And if you wanna go searching for something to to make me feel bad about myself, I did it knowingly, and I don't feel bad about it. I was okay with it. Why are you not okay with it? I'm not sitting here judging you what you're doing.

You know? Like, so that's why I'm kinda like, if someone wanted to pay me for something like that Mhmm. And I was willing Mhmm. Who cares? Yeah.

It comes down to, like, just, you know, mind your business. Minds a business that pays you. Exactly. Like, what what you do in your home, again, as long as you are not hurting children, other people, animals, or yourself, I don't care. Mm-mm.

Like, I I don't I don't care. I don't care what you wait for dinner. I don't care who you sleep with at night. I don't, you know, I don't care. Do what do what makes you happy.

Again, as long as you are not hurting yourself, children, other people, or animals, we're good. Yeah. I don't care. So yeah. Like, I don't see anything wrong with farting on a pillowcase.

I don't. Did you ever think you'd say that? No. Never in my life. I don't think there's anything wrong with farting on a pillowcase.

I'd I never once thought those words would come out of my mouth. I I I don't. But it's like Well, yeah, I mean, like, you have to start getting creative. Like, if that if that's a thing, like, what else be concerned about can you do? I mean, like Could you get could you get pink eye still from that, though?

I would think so if you never washed it. That's gross. That's that's that part. I mean, anything is impossible, but you could get pink eye from, you know, riding the bus. Yeah.

That's true. I mean, just Kids are nasty. Kids touch everything, and then you touch things. Wash your hands. Yeah.

Don't touch your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not supposed to do that at all.

Like yeah. But I was just like that and, like, okay. So, like, the pillowcase thing, I I could come up with some things somebody would probably would want to do with the pillow, but that's just because my brain. But a fart in a jar, the fuck are you doing with that? Like, sniffing it?

Yeah. Right? Like, that's where I'm kinda like You get one sniff, and then it's gone. Where is it like was it what was that movie where they were farting in a fucking, coffee can tin and then lighting a match, pulling the lid off, and, like, what movie was that? It was an old school.

I think it was a Robin Williams movie. Was it Jack? I don't know. I think it was. But I remember watching that movie and looking at my mom, goes, is that real?

Can that happen? And she was like, yeah. We used to do it as kids. And I'm looking at her like, holy shit. I still don't know if it's true or not.

So people are, like, paying for fart bombs? Is that what you're talking about? They might be. What else are you gonna use for the fart in a jar? A stink bomb?

Like I don't know. How long does it I don't know how long how how do you Then how do you know she's really farting in the jar and not just mailing you a fucking jar? You know what I'm saying? Like, did she does she record herself farting in the jar and that's part of it? Like Is it certified with that plaque?

Right. Right. Like, I have so many questions. Like, ultimately, you I just want someone to be like, I'll send you, a thousand dollars for farting on a pillowcase, and I'll be like, say less. But instead instead, segue today.

This random random dude that has been blowing my DMs up, because I'm not gonna say my phone because he doesn't have my phone number. Thank you. Jesus for that one. But, anyways, been blowing my DMs up, talking about, I wanna get to know you and all this all this bullshit. Slid into the DMs.

Slid into the DMs trying to just talk and respond back after, like okay. How did it start? Like, was it a, hey, or was it like, you're pretty? I don't remember. I think it was I think it was like a, hey.

How you doing beautiful or something? Yeah. It's close. You know? Yeah.

And I'll just be, like you know? And I'll be like, I'm good. How are you? You know? I this is where I try to be nice and polite is when people DM me, and I'll respond.

Right? Because I think it's kinda rude not to unless, like, you're one creepy as fuck or just annoying as shit. But, you know You made a video about saying, hey, if you wanna chat Yeah. Damn good. Right.

Like, I'm not gonna be rude for no reason. Like, if I'm being rude, I usually have a reason, and I'll, nine times out of 10, give you the reason if you don't know it. So, but, yeah, we were just, like, chatting back and forth, you know, like and it was the same bullshit. Where are you from? Are you married?

Single? Divorced? How many kids do you have? This and I'm like, shut the fuck up. But then it's like out of the Out of that, though, just put a pin in that.

Is there any way to bypass that section of the introductions? Do you really is there any way to bypass it in a way where But thus far, I could scroll through all of the DMs I've received. They're all the same. That's what I need to make is that just like why I made a video that says, hi. My name's Amy.

Currently, yes. I'm single. No. I don't have any children. I'm from the Midwest.

Like, being kinda snarky about it because, like, bro, why are you asking me the same goddamn questions? Like, is this, like, a manual you guys pull out and follow? Okay. Question one. Hey, beautiful.

How are you? Question two. You gotta you gotta say it in the way and and, like, hey, beautiful. How are you doing? No.

I read it in my voice. It's not it's the, hey. How are you doing, beautiful? And I'm like, what the fuck do you want? Nothing.

Usually, I'm fucking working, bro. Like, what's good? Like, I there there is no book talk voice in my head when I get this shit. Oh, I love putting text, like, randomly, like, even from, like, just random people in book talk voice. It's my favorite.

It makes it so much more entertaining. You should really consider it. So just, like, grab a random text. I did that. One time I did that, which you're very much so aware of, I heard him speak and I go, oh, you ruined it.

Because he had a particular He had a high voice. In my head. And then when he spoke, it gave the energy of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. It didn't sound like Shaggy, but it gave that same energy like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, and it ruined it for me. So, I can't do that because everything I thought goes out the window at that point, and then I question everything.

Oh, but it makes it funny and entertaining and sometimes messy. No. I've ruined it. It's so ruined it for me. Like, it just it just it was it was a crash and burn, crash, crash, and burn.

But no. So it's Hey, honey. Nice to meet you. Hi, beautiful. That's that's Whose voice is that?

Are you saying I sound like that? What the fuck? No. The DM that you got. Oh, no.

Yeah. I just, no, I just read it. I don't yeah. It's just it's it's the it's my own voice. Like, it doesn't automatically go deeper because it's a guide.

No. It's just my own voice. Hey, beautiful. How are you doing? I'm good.

What do you what in the fuck you want? But that's my response usually to people. Do you hey. The fuck you want? State your purpose or die type of a thing.

So abrupt. You're like, hey. If you wanna get to know me, DM me. What do you want? Like To get to know me.

In all fairness, that video that video was because I thought the clock app was going away. And I'm like, look, man. It's your last day. Shoot your shot, man. Okay?

That's it. Oh, it's still here. Post. Yeah. It was just a shoot your shot, and I was more so being like, if you're one of the few guys that I've commented, goddamn, you were fine, on your video, or I would actually take you out on a date, DM me.

That was more so what it was, not the anybody and everybody, please DM me and so I can have a conversation with you type of a thing. But, no, dude, today, my bank card's not working. Can you send me money? Isn't that a bot, or isn't that, like, just, like, some scammer sitting in their mom's basement just Laughed so hard and responded with laughing so hard, followed with a no. And then I said, I've I've talked to you via DM three times, and you're asking me for money.

You're probably not my type Yeah. If you if you're asking a stranger for money. Yeah. Yeah. You're not giving me that confidence of someone who, you know, has got their shit together right now.

No. No. And, sir, I could actually point you in the direction of two individuals. One of them, I still know. The other one, we don't speak.

He's part of the group of somebody who's dead to me. That will tell you it is incredibly fucking hard to get any form of income out of me. Not my income. Figure it the fuck out. I have to.

So do you. Life's tough. Get a helmet. Like, I don't know what to tell you. But I thought about it for a second, and I was like, self, be an asshole.

I'll send you a blessed dollar. And he goes, what's that? I said, a dollar that's been blessed because I'm being a dick. And he was like, so do you want my Cash App? What the fuck?

How dense are you? Obviously, dense. They also may be desperate if they're asking a random stranger for money. Mhmm. Mind you, he'd asked me for my phone number maybe, like, five minutes prior to that, and I told him no.

So, like, I don't know if you're crazy. Call. His response. Right. His response.

All the instincts on that one. Yeah. I'm not crazy. Yeah. Says every crazy person.

I'm not crazy. I say I'm not crazy, and I am. So, like, I don't trust I tell people I'm crazy, and they're like, no. You're not. I'm like, and then you quote Jack Sparrow.

Would a crazy person tell you they're crazy, or would, you know? I don't even see I don't even remember the quote, but it was a great quote. I will have to look it up. But, yeah, Jack Sparrow said it best, like, literally. So yeah.

And I'm like, bro, what the fuck? Yeah. So it was phone number and then to I was like, I'll add you on Snapchat, like, because I can block you on there. You know? Like, it's easier.

You don't have my number, and I don't have to worry about, like, spoofing apps and all this shit. Like, people are nuts. That has happened. I have changed my phone number for that reason. So, like, no.

And he's like, I don't even use Snapchat. So I found a Snapchat because it's, public. We're Snapchatting on it all day. So we know me. I said the thanks.

I was like, yeah. You don't use Snapchat? Why are you even posting on it all day? And he was like, well, I don't respond to anybody. I said, well, low key.

That's rude. He goes, why is that rude? Well, why wouldn't you respond to anybody? People respond to you on here. So why wouldn't you respond to others?

I don't want to. And then that's when the whole, my bank card doesn't work. I need money. Well, that sounds like personal problem, bro. I'll tell you.

But, yeah, like, sir, first of all, I know this is a fake profile. Yeah. Second of all, you're not fooling anyone. Third of all, get the fuck off my phone. Yeah.

He was blocked. Easy peasy, which is why we don't give out phone numbers. Easier to block. Right. So Yeah.

I don't give anybody my number unless it's like Mm-mm. Mhmm. Mm-mm. Yeah. No.

Yeah. You gotta be able to block people. People are nuts. And I am actually gonna look up that quote from Traxpero because it's gonna bother me if I don't. So the the best one is I got a jar of dirt.

That really is. That really is. I got a jar of dirt. I got a jar of dirt. Yank us what's inside it.

Okay. Here it is. Oh, well, it contradicts what I said. But either way, it's still epic. Flip it over, spin it around.

At least I know. In my head, it made sense. Right. At least I'm aware. Let's start there.

But, anyways, crazy people don't know they are crazy. I know I am crazy. Therefore, I am not crazy. Isn't that crazy? Because if you really think about it, though, too, like, crazy people don't know they're crazy.

I know I'm crazy. I've even had people go, you warned me you were crazy, and I'm like, I told you. That was, like, the in part of the initial conversation. I am certifiable, and they're like, but you're a different kind of crazy. I'm like, well, yeah.

I'm not gonna slash your tires or bust out your windows. That's stupid. Who the fuck does that? I know some people that have, but that's not here nor there. Again, it wasn't Tai because not that crazy.

But, no, I'm crazy enough to Jedi mind trick you to probably think I would do something like that. But I get in their heads. Like Mhmm. It's part of being a cancer. Part of being a cancer.

You know? You just, you know, don't piss me off. Yeah. Yeah. Jewel number one of Fight Club.

Don't take Amy off. It's fairly simple. It's fairly simple rule. Just don't do it. So you block this person.

Yep. Yep. I always get it's interesting when we get to the weird ass dating world. I know I'm not a part of it, but sometimes I'm just like, I'm so glad I'm not a part of it because this shit crazy. Mhmm.

Yeah. It's, it's a lot, And it's not a like, a fun a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Like, oh god.

Like, in the toxic group, all the girls that post their boyfriend. Like, there was a girl that posted a dude she literally just matched with, like, five minutes ago, and she said that. And she was like, before weedy, I start, you know, messaging him back and forth. I wanna see if he belongs to anybody. You just matched with him five minutes ago.

That's just someone who's looking for problems. Yeah. Like, that's someone who's wants drama. That's someone who who that why would you match with someone if you're that timid or that scared or that worried that Right. Why would you even try to be Yeah.

You already you haven't even given this person, like you said, five minutes to. No. I'm pretty sure they probably haven't even said hello to you at this point. Like, it was like, oh, you're cute. Oh, I think you're cute.

We're matched. And you're over here screenshotting and being like, does he belong to anybody? Bitch, did you even say hi? Like Yeah. I'm confused.

Person doesn't owe you shit at that point. No. Absolutely the fuck not. He hasn't even stated his intentions at this point. He could say, I'm actually in a relationship, but we're opening it up, or, we decided to separate and see other people, or I'm in the middle of a divorce.

So there could be so many reasons that that that why? Why? That and then on top of that, there's so many girls that post their baby daddies or their ex boyfriends and are like, run. He is this, this, this, this, this, this, and, you know, this. Okay.

Well, I understand he does have those characteristics and traits. You allowed some of the fucked up shit that occurred. Like, nobody can I can't go, this one person I dated stole $600 from me? They I loaned them $600, and they were supposed to pay me back, and they never did. Well, lesson learned because I chose to lend my significant other at the time $600.

Dumbest shit I ever did, which is why now we understand why it's real hard to get money out of me because fuck you. No. Figure it out. Mhmm. So, you know, like, there's certain levels.

Like, some people, yeah. Is that a true character trait of theirs? Absolutely. But, ma'am, you sound bitter as shit because he doesn't want you. Yeah.

That's where I start again. Okay. If if we follow that train of thought, like Mhmm. Okay. Every time somebody broke up, then one person in the in the relationship can be like, this person is this, this, this, this, and this.

Mhmm. And, like, that carries on into every relationship after that. That's not true. So you're trying to saddle that person with how you and them did not equalize each other or you guys did not meet each other in the middle or where you guys had conflict, and you want that to carry over to someone else. Someone else may be perfect for them in in temperament or in in the way that they argue.

You know, like, whatever it is. Right? And you want them to forever be doomed to always be the same person they were in the relationship with you, and you're you're calling people out for for what? For trying to get to know them, date them? What what if that happened to you if you never got to move beyond that one relationship that didn't work out?

Mhmm. And because people do grow and change. Yeah. That is the thing. I mean, not everyone.

Yeah. Not everybody. But you're you're putting everybody in the same box that you are. Mhmm. You're not willing to let whatever that was go, and you can't be like, hey.

Wish you well. Go do your thing. Right. I hope you find someone better or someone someone that that works for you, but I'm doing my own thing. If you're still hanging on to that Mhmm.

You're not moving on, you may as well you know? Yeah. Because there was, there was a post earlier and because I was just, you know, scrolling the book of faces, and it popped up. And I was like, oh, he looks like a really nice guy. You know?

Like, kind eyes, looked like a really nice guy. And I was like, I wonder what people are saying about him. So I clicked the comments, and the first comment is, he's not over as ex. He's still living and hurt. Don't waste your time.

What? First of all, ma'am, are you the s? Second of all, how long ago was this? Third, like, I, like, I have so many questions. Like Did he use that line on you to get away from you?

Like, oh, I you know, I'm actually you know, I'm just still not over my past relationship. I need that to get away from you because you're cray cray, possibly. Or maybe he isn't over his ex. But, also, how is that helpful? Right.

Let him tell that if he's not. Yeah. And then then whoever the female is that's speaking to him can follow it up with, then why are you trying to date? If you're looking for a rebound, state that now. Yeah.

You know, like Valid. You see how to hit it and quit it, move on. Fastest way to move get a you know, get over someone is to get under someone else kind of an energy. Go for it. That never that never worked for me.

Mhmm. No. I normally felt like a terrible person for even, like, contemplating that idea. But then, like, the two serious relationships that I had, I was like, well, one of them cheated on me and went back to his ex, that he was with before me. But now I find it kinda funny.

Then I didn't. But I was like, how could you do that to somebody? At the time, I'm hurtful. Right. Now I'm like, well, such is life.

He was a piece of shit anyways. It's fine. I win. You lose. You know?

Like, certain things. But then other times, I'm like, I've been asked by people, how do you stay single for so long? And I'm like, well, because I have to fix what I broke or what was broken in the relationship, and I have to take accountability for my actions in the relationship, work on myself, grow, and then finally be open to dating. I'm not one of the people that's like, oh, it's been two weeks. New boy.

Like, I've I've questioned anybody I ever met where they would jump from relationship to relationship to relationship. And I'm like, how can you do that? You were just in love with that person, but you're in love with this person. Make it make sense. Yeah.

I don't understand. That doesn't compute. But, yeah, like, if you're, like, if again, if you're still hurt from a relationship, be hurt. That's fine. Just be open and honest about that shit.

But, again, that chick could have been batshit crazy. We don't know. Like you said, that could have been the ex. That could have been, that's why like, I get it. You like what you like that group because it it's like watching a soap opera, right, of people doing it.

Like their I need advice post. Those have been happening a lot more, and I do appreciate those because kinda some of it that they ask for makes you think. Mhmm. Mhmm. And then other ones of it, it's like, how stupid are you?

Yeah. But I'm also more on the cynical side than whimsical side. So there's that. Yeah. And I think that some of that stuff is just rage baiting or to become impartial or, again, the fill part of a group, you know, or to feel, like, validated because you're pissed that someone wasn't honest with you.

Guess what? People lie every freaking day. And it's not always about relationships. Sometimes it's about work. Sometimes it's about, you know, family.

Sometimes it's about stupid ass shit. Yeah. Like, how many times have you lied to your boss at one point when you show up late to the office, and they're like, why are you late? And you're like, I was stuck in traffic. But in reality, it's because you stopped at fucking McDonald's because you wanted a freaking sausage, egg, biscuit really badly.

You know? But like like, come on. How many times, oh, it's late or oh, this you know? Like, you said, people lie every single day. Yeah.

So people are difficult. People be peopling, which is why I'm not a people person. Mm-mm. Because people be peopling. That's not happening.

They be peopling. Also, like, the other thing I've noticed in the DMs and in the dating website messages because I'm not gonna call those DMs because you have to match with them in order for them to send you a message. Your match match messages or some I don't know. Why am I trying to make a name for it? Whatever.

I everybody knows what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Were they literally again, right after the normal swift questions of, you know well, the dating sites that tells, like, age and name and location, like, area type of a thing. But, you know, like, how long have you been single?

But then other right, like, right after that, what are you looking for? That's literally so what are you looking for? And I'm like, now? Again, because I'm an asshole. The sun, the moon, and the stars.

That's what you're looking for? Yeah. How do I give that to you? I don't know. If you really wanted to, you'd figure it out.

But what does that mean? Means I want the sun, the moon, and the stars. What do you mean what does it mean? Well, that's not a thing. No.

It is. It is. You could get me a star necklace, a moon bracelet, and a sun anklet. I don't know. There.

You gave me the sun, the moon, and the stars. That's not complicated to figure out. And then, also, what are your love languages? All of them. Do they really ask that?

They really ask that. And it's like, why am I gonna tell you this so you can pretend to be those things for two months and then dip? No. I'm good. Figure it out.

How badly do you actually wanna get to know me? I'm not asking you what are you looking for. Sometimes I do go, you, question mark, just to be a dick. Man, sometimes I hate that fucking book. What book?

The love language book. Oh, yeah. Like, the fact that that's even a question that everybody seems to know the answer to Mhmm. Like, really? That book was horrible.

I'm sorry. I didn't read it. It was horrible. I took the quiz, though, at one point, and I it was like quality time, and I'm like, no shit. I'm a Cancer.

I like hanging out with you if I like you. I like talking to you if I like you. Duh. Like, it's not it's not hard to figure out. But then, like but in reality, I'm like, you do realize all of those love languages can switch and change depending on the day, depending on the circumstance, depending on the mood.

Like, you might have cramps. They might be kicking your ass to the point where if you move off this heating pad, you're gonna die. And guess what? Then I'd like gifts. Gifts like ice cream.

And acts of service. Or Yeah. Yeah. Or Bring me tacos and tell me I'm pretty and not bloated. Yeah.

Like, thank you. Like, bring me tacos, gifts. You coming to check on me or doing stuff for me, acts of service, telling me I'm pretty, words of affirmation. Like Mhmm. There's always more, like, a said like, I hated that book, and I had to read it for, like, church shit or whatever.

Ew. You had to read that for church? Mhmm. That doesn't seem very Jesus y. I don't I don't know if that's a word.

It just doesn't seem like a very Jesus y book. Maybe it is. Again, I didn't read it. I don't know. Is it?

It was for, like, couples retreat something or other. Oh. It was awful. I would have been like, no. Hand me a a Kama Sutra book instead, bro.

Probably probably would have been better than that. Like, motherfucker, we're here. Probably because I can't be pleased in one way or another or all the ways. I don't know. Never never been to couples therapy.

It wasn't it's not a thing. I don't know. I don't I don't know. I've, like, totally gone mute because no. No.

ne coming. That was not on my: 2025

Then anytime there's anything, well, you know I need this, and you're not doing it. And then it just be it just becomes another weapon. It can be another weapon, especially if you're in relationships where it's very tit for tat type of energy. You're very Yeah. You know, keeping score kind of an energy.

Yeah. It's it it's it can be That point. As much as it could be helpful, it can be just as toxic just depending on the relationship or the people involved. That's that's all I gotta say about it. Yeah.

And I'm not gonna sit here and act like I wasn't ever or haven't been because, again, growth, self reflection, accountability. One of the people that does the, well, I did this for you type of a thing because I have been. You know? At that point, I might as well have had a dry erase board behind me going, see these tallies. This is what I did for you, and this is what you've done.

See, I've done more. Like, that's stupid. Like, certain days, you're gonna be at a %, and they might be at zero. Other days, it might be fifty fifty. Other days, seventy thirty.

Mhmm. You know, eighty twenty, 60 40. What? 75, 30 five. 20 five.

Wow. Math is hard. I caught it, though. I caught it, though. That was the key.

I caught it. But you know what I'm saying? Like, every day is different. It's not always the same. And it took me a really long time to actually realize that too.

God, we're in therapy now. Hi, guys. Welcome. I don't know. I I don't I don't mock the therapy that is discussion, the therapy that is commiserating, the therapy that you can get from just talking about life shit.

Like, yes. It's not in a clinical study setting. Yes. Nobody here has degrees, and no one here can actually give medical or or physical advice about what you should do or anything like that. Nope.

But but you can't tell me that hanging out with a girlfriend when you're feeling in the droopies that and just talking shit or dancing and having fun or like, if you say that's not therapeutic, I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Oh, yeah. There's, like, times where me and you have had discussions where afterwards, I felt like a full relief afterwards just being able to express myself and tell someone in a space where they're not judging me, and I'm allowed to have all those really bad, horrific thoughts, you know, those the the quiet parts out loud thing. Yeah.

Like, doing that, super therapeutic. Same. Yeah. Like, hell, just even when I just went home. Right?

Yeah. Home sometimes and just respectfully for those listening even though my family knows typically when I say respectfully, it's about to be real disrespectful. It's not always warm and fuzzy and happy because there's a lot of stress involved and stuff because, I mean, there's stress with family. Yeah. And but when I went home, I literally was like, the second I clocked out from work, the last day I worked, I was like, my brain is now off.

I don't wanna think about the bullshit I have to deal with, I, the car and other things going on. I don't I don't want the stress. I don't want anything. I just want to have fun and be in the moment. Told my sister that.

My sister said, bet done and done. We went out every night. I had a lot of fun. Mhmm. A lot of money.

She even took me shopping. Got some clothes I had never thought I'd wear in my life. Retail therapy. Mhmm. And it was just a lot of fun because, like, mind you, my sister is, like, way younger than me.

But we still we get along better now than, obviously, you know, me arguing with, like, a three year old because I was that teenager who argued with a three year old. I don't care. Still do it to this day. Anyways, You wonder why I didn't have the relationship either. Right.

Like, her and I just had we we had a lot of fun, and she was just like, yeah. I'll make sure, you know, you're not thinking about anything you have to worry about at home. Don't worry about anything you got. We'll figure it out. And I'm, like, you know, at one point crying because I'm like, thank you.

This means so much to me. You know? Like, because a lot of people, even family, doesn't do that. Yeah. So it is really nice to know that you have even if it is a couple or, you know, two or three people, like, individuals that are like, no.

You know what? I'm gonna help you. We're gonna it doesn't matter what's going on. We're just gonna have fun. Yeah.

Because she could have been like, screw you, bitch. I don't care. Doesn't affect me. Problem. Yeah.

Yeah. Handle your shit. Mhmm. Because at one point, I told her, I was like, I've never gone out in Downtown Chicago. And she's like, seriously?

And I'm like, no. She's like, oh, we about to have so much fun. And we did. And it was her and her friends that went, out with us. Like and they were all super nice, super fun.

You know? I wasn't not included in things because, you know, like, I'm like, felt like the grandma even though I wasn't type of a thing. But compared to their age, I'm like, damn. I'm old. But, you know, it was a lot of fun, and it was helpful.

And I came home, and I was like, I can actually sleep now, not sleep deprive I'm sleep deprived. I'm no longer anxious. I'm calm. Almost like you gotta reset or reboot or, refresh. One of the rewards.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. And dealing with my family wasn't that bad. I always get stressed out in those type I don't even know how social situations.

Mhmm. Especially social situations where there's been issues. Mhmm. It's just like Yeah. Is there any way to escape this?

Fuck. No. Okay. Well, how's best to endure this and come out unscathed, you know, like, that type of an energy. Mhmm.

Well yeah. Because, I mean, it is stressful when you're dealing with family, especially if family's been, I guess, estranged in a way. Yeah. Not the world. And and it almost it's it's almost kind of like everybody kinda has their role that they played growing up together.

You know? Mhmm. And family is one of those places of where, one, if something was uncomfortable or bad, it's not really discussed because everybody kinda knows what happened and has their own opinions about it. So it's best not to bring it up. You know?

So there's a lot of stuff that gets unsaid, but that tension is still there, and we're all pretending at the same time that it's not there. And so it just feels so false and weird, and Mhmm. You're you always have to be that person that you used to be. Family has a hard time letting you change, evolve, grow, move on. Yeah.

Go after what you want, not care anymore, what they think of you. Like, all of those things are hard. And I don't know if it's just, like, societal pressures or or, you know, the stigma that gets put on it for people who, you know, everybody pushes. They're always your family. They're always gonna be your family.

You always have to do this, and then you feel like shit when you're like, I don't care. And somehow you're the bad person because you're just like, yeah. They're gonna think what they're gonna think no matter what. And and just because they're family doesn't mean that they can't be hurtful to me or unsafe for me or toxic for me. I mean, there's been a big movement about people, like, like, children going no contact with Parents.

Parents Mhmm. Once they Yeah. Become of age. And the the parents just be like, you know, and you're like, you pushed and pushed and pushed and at some point Yeah. I mean, ever since I started living by the three f's, I've done a lot better Yeah.

Which, you know, if you're not feeding me financing or fucking me, you don't get a vote. And even if you're doing one of those things, it's still questionable if I give a fuck what you think anyway. Yeah. So Still my choice. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, the the mentality of my sister, don't fuck don't give a fuck. Like, just don't give a fuck. You know how many times I've played that through my head? Probably.

Simplest of things, but when you were telling me about your sister's, like, pep talk to you Mhmm. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. It was great. Just It was great.

Just nothing nothing really can get to you if you're just like, you know what? It really doesn't fucking matter anyways. It really doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't. And I just kept saying that.

I was just like, yeah. It it See? There's nothing to do. So just stop caring so much. What does worrying do?

You know? Mhmm. And, like, okay. You've seen Stepbrothers. Right?

Yes. That movie? Okay. So my sister and I essentially have the same mentality where my mom's like, you know, be nice, get along with everybody, and her and I have the stepbrothers mentality where he's like, Robert better not get up in my face because I'll drop that motherfucker. Like, we have that same mentality of come at me, bro.

Go ahead. I'll lay everybody out in here. I'll air everyone's shit out. Like, I'll be honest about it. I don't talk to this man.

I told my entire family about how my father had another daughter. Mhmm. And then he cussed me out. Sir, that's a you problem, not a me problem. I thought they all might wanna know that they had another relative.

Mhmm. Whoops. And? Jamie's like, and drop the bomb and stand back and watch the fireworks. Mhmm.

Yeah. You you shouldn't have thrown your divorce papers at me, dude. You fucked up. Not me. I might not like to read.

That doesn't mean I won't if necessary. So it backfired because he knew I hated reading. I hated reading because of that man. So He conditioned you not to read the details. Yeah.

Well, his fault. I did. So, you know, it backfired. Like but, again, like, even my sister has the same mentality, like, not for nothing. She may or may not have commented on, somebody's post on her dad's side of the family going, nope.

Forgot some people. Forgot some grandkids. Because we have that. We don't whoops. We don't allow people to hide behind their deceptions or No.

Like like, the things that they wear or use to make themselves look Mhmm. Mhmm. Like they're on a pedestal or that they have no flaws or, you know, like Oh, yeah. Like, you're like Oh, yeah. Yeah.

We're all en masse down here. Yeah. I'm flawed. They're flawed. Yeah.

We're all we're all fucking flawed. But, yeah, like, I used to have friends that would be like, oh, your dad, he's so nice. You know? Like, my dad had a in ground pool. Still does because he still lives in the same fucking house.

Like, oh, he has an in ground pool. It's so cool, and he takes you to Disney, and he offered to take us to whatever arcade place when, like, you know, I'd my one friend that he allowed to spend the night over there spent the night. And I looked at her and go, he's only like this because you're here. Yeah. He's he's really fucking mean, actually.

He's only being nice because you're here. Yeah. He never does this. And she's like, what? And I'm like, he's an asshole.

Like, this it's for show. He was a Disney dad. Yep. I want I'm gonna pretend I do all of these things for you in front of everyone else, but behind closed doors, I'm actually a giant piece of shit who's really fucking mean. Yeah.

So and, you know, like yeah. That's why I'm like, well, if everyone's gonna know you have a kid, now everyone who listens to this podcast knows you have another kid. Just keep on dropping those bombs. Yep. And this is what I tell people, don't piss me off.

I might be over it in a sense, but I'll still bring it up. You don't get a high. Right. You don't get to be like, oh, it's been sixteen years. She's not gonna bring it up.

Or no. Comes right back around to what I started with. So what happened was I ran into someone from my past, and guess what? Feelings didn't change. Nope.

Still there. Still don't like you. Imagine that. And you could have been like, fuck you and the bitch you slid out of and the bitch she slid out of. Fuck your entire bloodline, hoe.

You gotta admit, just calling somebody a horror hoe sometimes just actually makes you feel a lot better. I don't know if I've ever called someone that to their face before ever. Seriously? I'm being serious. Well, right now, if she was here, just just pretend.

Just call her a hoe or a whore. See if you feel better. But that's just not like, that's me not being me. Right. I know.

That's that it would make me feel good. I think I would feel bad. Just hypothetical, Lou. We're just trying to see if you if I could get you to say whore. Nope hesitation.

Never mind. No. No. It's okay. One day.

One day, I'm gonna be on the phone with you, and it's gonna slip out. I still need those, lessons, I guess. It's okay. One day, I'll just I'll be nicer. But I did hold on to the fact of, like, yeah.

No. I still know exactly who you are. You already showed it to me. I don't need a you know? I didn't want an excuse.

I didn't want them to just glaze over it and act like it didn't happen. Like, what we were talking about with, like, family, like, the tensions there, but we're gonna just keep pretending that everything's okay. I didn't allow us us to pretend that we were friends just because we were in a social situation. I didn't allow I'm like, you showed me who you were Mhmm. At your core by what you did.

It wasn't about, you know, a misunderstanding. It wasn't about, you know, an argument that we could you know, or a differing of opinions that we could have talked through or anything like that. You showed me exactly who you were in that moment. Mhmm. And guess what?

You doing that got me hurt. Yep. Actually hurt. You know? Yeah.

So no. No. You sent me into my doom at that point because it mattered more to you. Get get you know? So no.

I know exactly who you are. When when when when push comes to shove, you sold me out. Mhmm. Yeah. Fuck that bitch.

Yeah. So I did do good for me where I didn't allow myself to sweep it all under the rug, minimize my feelings, minimize my hurt, you know, whatever. Mhmm. I was still civil, technically, but I was just like, okay. And I just walked away.

Mhmm. They looked a little dumbfounded because it wasn't that's not my MO. Like I said, I'm always so, oh, yeah. Hi. Somebody you know, like, I couldn't even I couldn't even fake it.

Yeah. I wonder if they thought you were gonna fake it. I know they did. That's why I said, like, they were they were they knew who I am, so they could corner me in a place where where I had to play the part that they knew I was raised to play and try to get a wedge in there when I was vulnerable, and I didn't do it. So I I like I said, I think I did good.

Mhmm. You did. You really did. I think you did. Did I throw a punch to them?

No. Did I call them a whore? No. I did not. I mean, I told them I did once they left, though.

I did tell a person that was standing next to me. It's like, that just happened. That bitch needs to stay away from me. Mhmm. So Close?

Mhmm. Oh, yeah. And the cardi lyric, it says, if I see you and I don't speak, that means I don't fuck with you. That's me. That's me.

Yeah. If you ignore them, pretend they're not there. Which which somebody will be like, are you gonna go say hi? And I'll be like, no. I don't fucking like them.

Why am I gonna say hi to them? I don't like them. Why would I do that? And I'm usually loud enough to where they can hear me. Yeah.

Just What? So we can hug them out? By by by by by each other a drink? What do what are we doing here? Mhmm.

Yeah. Because, this What's the purpose? Like, that's just it. Like, what's the purpose of doing nicey niceys with people who you, like you said, no longer fuck with? Why do we feel this need that we have to Yeah.

Play this, like it it comes off as theatrics. Right? For whose benefit? Ours? No?

Right. Why would I why would I pretend? Am I getting to be paid for this? Maybe. Depending on the amount of money, I might pretend to like you for five minutes.

That's fine. It's no But it's no different than farting in a jar. So, I mean, it's like, how much you paying me? Sure. I'll hash shit out with someone that I don't like anymore because guess what?

I don't care what the outcome is or whether they believe me or whether they forgive me or I forgive them. I still don't like you. I actually told somebody that recently. I still don't like you, and their response was, I don't remember you. And I said, no fucking shit because I did not like you.

So I made it a point to stay away from you, you dumb twatwaffle. Like, ma'am. There are people, though, who just have to be liked. And Yeah. When they're not liked, they go into martyrdom or victim mode.

Mhmm. And then when they're told you know, when they play that and then they're told, I don't like you because of this, this, and this, then they're like, you're gaslighting. Yeah. You're narcissist. You're this is this.

It's like, okay. Sure. Sure. Alright. And when people well, you're a bitch.

Okay. And? Is that supposed to hurt my feelings? It doesn't. I'm very much so aware.

I am bitchy. Yeah. That wasn't a secret to anyone. Maybe to you, but not to anyone else. But, yeah, like, when people get mad, you're a you're a narcissist.

Am I, or are you actually one in your projecting? Like, I've told you before, the narcissist trope has been thrown around. Mhmm. That's an actual medical condition. Mhmm.

You can have narcissistic traits, but I think every human can at different times. Oh, yeah. So okay. But the way that people just will, like, throw that label on people, one, it's not ethical. And two Mhmm.

You are in no position to be someone to diagnose something like that. And Good. You didn't like the circumstances you were in. Mhmm. And sometimes that gets thrown not all the time.

Like I said, there are unsafe times when it's full on nurse you know, like, all those other things. But but, you're using that as an excuse so that you can be blameless in the situation. So, again, when the the people who who pull that out on the reg with everybody that they don't like, Yeah. I'm like, like you said, you might be a project and a skosh. Mhmm.

You might be a project and a skosh. So I'm not gonna listen to any of your opinions about who that person is Yeah. Or what they did because I don't believe you. And that means that you lie to make yourself look better. So also that means that, yeah, that also means that you're not owning up to your own shit either.

So no. Mhmm. Yeah. Like, I'm like it took me a hot minute because I you know, I'm like, I'm not the problem in these relationships. It is not me.

And then one day, I was like, no. Bitch. You might be. Strike that. Whoops.

Reverse it. Okay. But, yeah, you have to be able to actually take accountability for things and actually be able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and look at your actions from an outside view, like, take yourself out of it to be able to go, okay. What actions did I take that might have actually hurt this person or caused this? And then you're like, which is why now I'm like, I'm okay if I'm the villain.

Yeah. That's fine. I don't I mean, as much as I believe I am a princess, I now am well aware that I am not always a princess and very much so a villain from time to time. Yeah. Like we said, you know, you're always gonna be a villain in someone's story.

And that's when when the people, like I said, who have to everybody has to like me and everybody has to to hear my side and everybody needs to understand where I'm coming from. That's just needing validation, which get it. We all need validation in certain things. But when it comes to that and that's the only thing that you ever need from people, and then you're using that to mask, like I said, the truth or, you know, whatever, yeah. No.

No. Mhmm. Yeah. And there's a lot of people that need a lot of validation across the board for you know, like, it feel it feels good to get validation. I'm not gonna sit here and be like, you don't need it.

No. It does. Like, if you're, you know, at work too, if you're doing something and your boss hits you up and they're like, hey. I just noticed you've been doing really great on x, y, and z. Oh, shit.

You noticed. Mhmm. Like yeah. So validation can also be a good thing. Yeah.

And, like like, even when we were talking about, you know, like, therapy of of, you know, being like, this person did this, and you go to and hang out with your best friend, and they're like, fuck that bitch. You know? Like, you do to me sometimes and stuff. Mhmm. That's validation in it's not so much that you are agreeing or whatever, but you're you're validating that my feelings are genuine, and it's okay for me to feel those and express those in this space so that I can get over that so that I can figure out what I'm gonna do.

Because you need to be able to vent that before before you can, you know, move on and do what you need to do. Right? Mhmm. But it's also helpful when you can have somebody that'll be like, you might have been overreacting a little bit. Like, you were at a 10.

Maybe being at a five would have been a little bit better, instead. But you're still being validated in how you felt, but, also, you're being checked if need be. So I feel like you might overreacted, or that might have not been like you know, or I'm like, fuck that bitch. You might be like, well, Amy, you know, that might not have been the best thing to do. Yeah.

And I'll be like, you're right. It probably wasn't. The feelings there. Valid. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I can see why you're upset. Get those out. Yell it out.

Scream it out. Yeah. Rage it out. Whatever. Yeah.

Mhmm. Yeah. So it's like a checks and balances thing. Like, you need to have the person that you can talk to and vent all the things, especially if you can call them and be like, I just need to vent. Yeah.

I don't need you to vent. Yeah. I don't need you to I don't. Yeah. I just need you to listen and cosign.

Mhmm. It's all I need you to do. Afterwards, if I go, okay. Now that I got it out, I'll be more rational. Where did I fuck up?

And then, you know, like, then they could be like, wait. Where was I the asshole in this situation? Because I need someone on the outs I need a third party, you know, to to come in and assess for me. Yeah. Yeah.

Because, you know, I don't I don't think if you like, if you don't have that, if I'm saying that correctly, you're gonna be like, well, I'm never wrong. No. You probably are, but you don't have anyone around that's gonna check you. Like, you're surrounded you're you surrounded yourself with yes men or, like, minions. Yeah.

Where they're like, oh, no. You're never wrong. You're amazing. You're perfect. You're great.

To where then you're never gonna take accountability for anything you actually did. No. Because you're buying you're you're you're buying your own bullshit. Mhmm. Mhmm.

Which And like you said, you're you're surrounded by people who are just continuing to validate that part, but not but not doing the after the aftercare of Mhmm. Okay. Understand you feel all that stuff, but your part is the part we need to focus on now. Right. Right.

K. So this is where you're gonna this, but this is where our true friend's gonna be like, snatch me up and shake me about a little bit and tell me to sit down and put me in my place. Knock me down a few pegs. Yeah. Tell me what's what.

Mhmm. Which I think everybody needs. Everybody needs someone in their life that literally can just be like, totally, totally, totally. But sit the fuck down and listen. Yeah.

Love you to pieces, but you know this bullshit that you do on the reg, you just did it. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. Doesn't mean our friendship's changing.

I'm just pointing out that I already know this about you, and guess what? You know about it too. Mhmm. You don't get to hide from this. Not from me.

Yeah. Like, there's certain things that you can fluff with certain people. But then it also goes to, I think, the tier of friendship. We've talked about this before. Like Right.

Like, we're squares. There's Yeah. There's social people that you there there's there's people that you've that you meant in social setting that you'd be like, oh, you're what's their name? Oh, yeah. You're you're you know, like that.

Mhmm. Then there's acquaintances where you've met them a few times. There's friends of friends. So you wouldn't call them your friends, but you you're around them enough to at least kinda know a little bit more about them. And then what was the next then it was more of It was like acquaintances, social media friends.

Friends of friends. Friends of friends. And then just basic friends and then inner circle the people that you talk about the shit. I'd say, like, Kevin Hart level, your bullshit is my bullshit. Like, there's there's very few.

And by very few, like, off the top of my head, three. Three. There's solid three people that could call me and go, I need you to help me hide this. And I'd go, okay. No questions asked.

Where I learned one level of friendship with somebody was when they, went to jail, and they called me to bail him out. This individual and I are no longer friends. We're gonna state that right now. They called me to bail him out. And when I answered the phone, I was like, why are you out?

What were you doing? Who are you with? Why wasn't I invited to this? What the fuck do you mean you need to get bailed out? When are you gonna pay me back?

Because I have no fucking money. Like, I asked 18,000 questions before I got up and went to go get them. At that point in time, I should have known the level of friendship we had because I questioned everything. And then it became a running joke. Don't call Amy because she's gonna ask you 18,000 questions.

Like, the whole, you know, when dudes were like, I want a chick that's ride or die. And I'm like, well, where are we riding to, and why do I have to die? Like, I have questions. So there's very few people where I'll be like, okay. Alright.

And then I'll ask after. Yeah. Or I won't ask at all because I don't wanna know. And those people change throughout your life too. Someone that I would have done that for in the past doesn't necessarily mean that that's someone that I would do that for now.

Well, yeah. Especially if you have watch them make questionable life choices over and over and over again, I'd be like, bitch, you on your own. Nope. I will be over here. Don't tell me.

I don't wanna know. You on your own. Mhmm. No. Thank you.

Where, like and there's also people where I think the level of friendship surprises you in a way. Where because you're like, I know we're friends. Right? Like, I I know we're friends. I know I share some things with you.

You share some things with me. And then blue, they ask you to be their bridesmaid, and you're like, wait. What? Well, no. Not even that.

Not even that. But it's like, if something happens and they show up for you Oh, yeah. They weren't somebody that you, like, expected Mhmm. For them to really, like, show up for you, you're like, wait. What the fuck?

I had that happen when I was moving once. Like Mhmm. They were they were, like, friend, colleague, you know, like, that type of a thing. Yeah. Called them up or or they found out, and it was they freaking showed up.

And I'm like, for real? Move in's, like, the worst thing ever. Or taking someone to the airport, that's the worst thing ever. Like, what? Those two things how you know if you're really friends with somebody, like, you pick me up or take me to the airport.

Alright. Kill me move. Like, nobody likes doing either one of, like because the airport one, the airport's never close. No. It's a long ass drive.

Nobody No. And it's kinda depressing going to airports at a time. Bad hour. Like Yeah. Except right now, I don't get on the plane.

the airport and pick me up at: 10:30

I'm like, absolutely the fuck not. The sun's not even up. Why am I up? Excuse you. Like, I literally okay.

So I forgot how bright my room is, and I have blackout curtains on my window. And then I have, another blackout curtain, which isn't like I it says blackout, but I don't think it's a true blackout curtain on my door, onto my balcony from my room. It got so bright Saturday morning in there, and I have these blackout curtains that I was awake and could not go back to sleep because I'm the type of person where any form of noise, light, I wake up, and then I'm just up. And I don't go back to sleep, usually. I went in my closet, found a sheet.

I didn't care. Took the sheet, threw it on top of my curtain rod on my window to make it darker in my room so I could go back to sleep. Yeah. Light doesn't bother me. No.

It bothers the shit out of me. I'm my rooms were always in a basement with either, like, no window or, like, the window was out and, like, the so I'm used to, like, pitch black, which is why you sleep like a vampire in a coffin. Yeah. I do sleep like a dead person for everyone that's seen me sleep. At least we know I'm not gonna go onto your side of the bed.

At least we know I'm gonna stay put. Oh, yes. There is, like, oh, we could play light as a feather, stiff as a board, like, with this this posture you've got going on. I do. There's something really just Have you ever seen Empire Records?

Here here lies our friends. My arms really are, like, glued to my sides too. Like, I'll wake up and, like, my hands will be, like, tucked under, like, my thighs or something. I'm like, well, that's interesting. Alright.

Mind you, I'm probably having, like, the craziest dream ever, like, fighting something in my sleep, but here I am laying, arms glued to my side, just completely straight. But, again, at least we know I'm not gonna go onto your side of the bed. Like, we don't have to worry. Like, there's a boundary line. Don't cross this.

Well, you don't like sleeping with people anyways. You said you get too hot. I do. I'm a furnace. That's what happens when you're a furnace.

You get too toasty. Normally, the other individual well, the other individual at one point that I was with, they they were always cold. So they were like, this is great. Yeah. I have a built in heater, and I'm like, it's so fucking hot.

Don't touch me. Don't touch me. I need, like, five fans on right now, and they're like, you're trying to freeze me out. I'm like, no. I'm just trying to sleep.

Because if I if I get hot like, I turn my thermostat down to, like, 68 every night when I go to sleep. I woke up the other night, and I was like, why is it so fucking hot? Thinking I forgot to turn my thermostat down. No. It was 68.

I was like, clearly, I'm gonna have to turn this down lower. It's fucking hot. But it's a heavy duty. Opposite. I am freezing while I sleep.

I sleep in, like like I'll fall asleep on my, like, I'll try and fall asleep on my tummy, but I slowly get curled up and curled up and curled up until I sleep in, like, the fetal position. Oh, shit. And so, like like so my partner is like it's it's hard to, like, snuggle you because it's like, how do you, like, snuggle with a ball? Like Yeah. Just tightly tucked.

So so unless I can fall asleep, I'll sleep on them almost like as a blanket because then they're warm. So it's either on them or in a ball just trying to conserve as much of my heat as possible, and I'll wake up, like, shivering. I wear socks, like, sweatpants, three shirts, and I'm Nah. I have two extra blankets on my side, and I'm always still fucking cold. Oh, cheese and crackers.

No. I okay. So when I went home, I slept in the basement of the house Mhmm. Which doesn't bother me because, again, I'm used to sleeping in basements. It's cooler.

It's cold. I like it there. It was four degrees outside one night when I was there. I don't even know what the temperature was in that basement. I had about five blankets, comforters, not just like little throat.

No. Five comforters and a heated blanket on me and was still cold and was asleep in, fleece lined pajamas. Mhmm. The shirt the long sleeve shirt and the pants fleece lined. Still freezing.

But the second I walked upstairs, I was sweating because it was like a fucking sauna in that goddamn house everywhere but the basement. And it was just that one night when it was, like, four degrees out because, otherwise, it was, like, in the thirties. It wasn't that bad. But that one night that it went to four, I may or may not have sat on the floor in the bathroom for a while because it was just so toasty and warm that I was like, oh, this is nice. And then I went back down to the frozen tundra.

Mhmm. Because Yeah. I I would not survive in the cold for very long. I don't I don't think. But you I give you four or three blankets when you were here?

Yes. I think I did. You gave I turned the piano. You gave me, like, the one comforter, and then you gave me the Sherpa, like, extra blanket, the camo Sherpa one or something, I think. Mhmm.

And then plus the sheet. Mhmm. I think I gave you another blanket too. And this was when it was still, like, low seventies outside. Yeah.

And I think During the day at night, I think it got down to, like, 50 degrees. It was cold then. Like, I was cold. Mhmm. But Mhmm.

But I was And I think I was being cheap too and didn't wanna turn my heat on. Yeah. Awesome. But I was, like, coated in the blankets wrapped up in Oh my god. And you go in my room, two fans going Yeah.

I did not go in your I think I went in your room twice the entire time I was Yeah. At your house because it was freezing in there. When I had to go change at one point or look in the mirror in your closet, I was like, it's fucking freezing in here. That closet, I even it's too cold. Like, that's why, because, normally, I would close the door.

You know, you gotta close the door to the portal. Mhmm. Leave the portal open. But it would get so cold because I don't think that closet's insulated at all that I was like, I can't do this. So I have a curtain rod up with a curtain over it so that way I can close it in a sense at night, but it still lets, you know, the airflow, the heat into there.

Not that it does a lot with that curtain. Mhmm. But so I can tie it up during the day so that way it's not as cold. But then in the summer, it's hotter than Bejesus. Oh.

So I'll I'll end up having that closed in the summer just so that way my room stays cold. Mhmm. Because, you know, Top floor life would be hot. Yeah. I'm used to the bottom floor too, and, oh, that is a different temperature.

I was not quite prepared for that, but I like the view. Yeah. The old place was very cave like. Yeah. I mean, it was filled with mold too.

Yeah. Very cave like. Mhmm. Mhmm. Like, I had so many people that are like, do you believe in light?

Do you like sunlight? I'm like, hell, yeah. I do. And they're like, why is it so dark in your house? Because electricity is expensive.

Shit. There was somebody so I have a Ring doorbell. Right? Mhmm. And I tell you about the stuff people post in the neighborhood app.

Yesterday was actually nice and helpful. I had a you moment, actually, because they posted, like, hey. Just moved here from Texas. Got our electric bills, $300 for a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment. Is that normal?

And I'm like, no. But when I first moved into this place, I think my electric bill was, like, $1.80 or $200. Like, it was high because they whoops. The, billing was extended just more than a month. But I told them, I was like, well, out here, we do things based on time.

So between four and 8PM, you're gonna pay three times the amount of energy. So don't run anything that takes a lot of energy. Dishwasher, washing machine, dryer. Like, don't run anything unnecessary during four to eight. You wanna pay the lowest price, 12AM to 6AM.

The other time is just regular pricing or, like, two times the amount because it's, like, one time, two times, or three times the rate. So between four and eight is when it's, like, ridiculous. Mhmm. Because that's when everyone's home and everyone's doing all of their things. So then they charge you out the ass for it.

So, no, I was actually nice and helpful in that for once instead of being like, you know, well, Woody Woodpecker decided to do this, or, oh, the Wile E. Coyote is after the road runner again. That's what the loud noise was. He was dropping a acne bomb. No.

I was actually nice for once, so I I channeled you yesterday. What would Blue do? She would be helpful. I'd be like, help me help her turn to the rescue. Mhmm.

Mhmm. Yeah. One day. One day, I will be again, or I won't. I don't know.

I used to be way more helpful. Mhmm. And way nicer. Although, I did get a reply back from, somebody else that's in the DMs while we've been talking. Oh, yeah?

Mhmm. Because I asked because he was like, okay. That money guy. No. There's no money guy.

He was blocked. He he was blocked, because he was telling me I don't have to feel reluctant to talk to him. And because Who said you are reluctant to? If you if you read my replies, you get that. Oh, gotcha.

Yeah. So, you know, he was like, you you know, if you wanna talk to me, you can talk to me. If not, you don't have to. And I was like, well, fuck it in a bucket. Why do you wanna talk to me?

I'm a ask. I don't care. Why why why are you in my phone? And, to be honest with you, your beautiful videos got my attention. First of all, this is the clock app.

I can go to my videos and see if you actually viewed them or not. I'll do that when we're done, and then I'll move accordingly. You've gone straight into detective mode. This person says they watched my video. Well, we're gonna find out.

Yeah. How was this? With all that energy. What if this is another burnout and they're gonna ask you for money in the next three texts? Well You would have wasted all that energy.

Well, because yesterday, I'd had I checked them yesterday because I talked to this per same person yesterday for a little bit. And I checked them yesterday, and they was like, well, you left me on scene. And I was like, okay. I'm busy. And?

And they're like, well, I just thought you were ignoring me. I was like, well, that's what you get for assuming. Now you look like an ass. Sorry. Like, I understand I'm not doing the best things to, You don't you don't really Yeah.

Open a door very easily. No. No. You're a little you're a little combative from the get go. No.

No. This is the last and moon stars figure it out, and they're like, I just sent you one message. Like, you know? They said, what what are you looking for? The sun, the moon, and the stars.

I answered your question. Okay. The fact that you don't realize that that's a little bit like, yeah. Because on their end, they're gonna be like, screw you. I don't know you either.

Why why am I gonna do this? You know? Like But I didn't approach you. You approached me. Let's make that very clear.

I did not seek you out, bro. You came bothering me. I was perfectly content with my doom scrolling without your DM, bro. So, again, like, I get it. If, like, if I'm approaching you, I'm nicer on the dating sites.

Like, clearly, we're here for the same purpose. And social media, I'm not nice because nine times out of 10, it's a scam. Yeah. So there's no real reason for me to actually be nice to you. And then, like, again, I am very much so state your purpose or die kind of a thing.

Like, don't come disrupt my peace so you can fill up some form of peace you want in your life. Because let's be honest, and you're very much so aware, the last person that I was thrilled nice to had me about to snap and crash out for, like, three weeks. And you know exactly who I'm talking about. Yeah. So we're back now to the not nice pants, and maybe I'll find the nice ones again.

But I I'm not uh-uh. I'd I'm I don't like getting my feelings crunched up. It's not fun for me. So, yeah, I'm a need people to state what it is they want. Yeah.

And then also just, again, you get way further with me being honest than lying. Yeah. Like, if I didn't feel like your thing was kind of full of shit, I probably wouldn't be like, well, let me go see if you actually looked at my videos. Like, bro, you don't even follow me. You didn't even like a single video.

So what makes you think that I think you actually even fucking watched them? You may have copy and pasted this exact same line on 12 different accounts. Right. Yeah. Do you know how many guys I find attractive on this app that I'm like, you are handsome as hell?

I would take you to dinner. Can I take you to dinner? I'm gonna shoot my shot. I don't care. Do you know how many of those same messages I post?

Do you know how many times I may or may not have wanted to say that to Isaiah Pacheco, but I do not have enough courage for that one? So and he's in a relationship, so that's a no. But, like, I'm calling bullshit because I do the same bullshit. I let me rephrase this. I don't slide any into anyone's DMs.

I do not. I will comment on their post for the world to see because I don't care. I draw the line there. Sliding into DMs There's a whole other thing. The only person's DMs that I slid into would be Michael b Jordan's, and that's only after an interview where he said he does read what people send him.

And I was just like and sometimes he responds. So I was like, well, shot in the dark. Let's just see what happens. No. I didn't get a response.

Well, shit. But it's okay. It's okay, though. But, you know well, hey. Here.

I'll show I'll show you. Not the, you know, the people listening can see what this individual looks like, but I'll show you. Oh, wait. Focus. From here, it looks like a a version of Vanilla Ice.

What? Oh, there we go. Are you sure that's not AI? Okay. And then you're the one over here going, you need to be nice?

Do we understand? That's not a real person. No. He looks real. He just looks like he used a filter.

Maybe that's what it is. And he only has 216 followers, which then makes him seem more real because he doesn't have that many followers. Because the other one person that I blocked had, like, 3,000 followers. Way fucking more than me. Way fucking more.

I don't know if if followers always equals real or not. Because there's been people who've, like, copied my account and end up with, like, 10 k followers. Right. That's what I'm saying. The less amount of followers, you see more real.

He has he has about the same amount of followers as I know. Videos? I don't know. I don't follow him, and his account's private. Oh, so I have I have no idea.

I mean it says he has likes, like, 31 likes, so I would assume he does because I don't think he did give So at least they had to make a comment or something. I don't I don't think your likes show up like that on on the Clock app. Oh. Because your If someone because your likes your likes are for people who liked your videos. Oh, that's it?

It's not for liked your comments? No. Well, yeah. Like, if you, like, if you commented on one of my videos and everybody liked it, does that show up on your like count for liking for people liking what you said? Because it says, this is dating Amy.

You received a total of 3,269 likes across all videos. So it's just my videos. So and the fact that he has 31 likes, I think. So he must have made a video at some point. Yeah.

He must have videos, but, again, I don't follow him because his account's private. And he follows Now is this someone that you responded to or no? Yeah. This is the person that I told him he was making ass out of himself yesterday. Oh, gotcha.

Again, I'm gonna respond until I block you. It's kinda how it works or until you block me. Not your usual type. Of course not. Of course not.

But I'm gonna respond. I'm gonna be nice. Store looking. I know. I know.

So sweet. He looks so nice. Ma'am, he was ready to bite my head off for leaving him on fucking scene yesterday. He actually started to, and then I had to clock his ass. What we're not gonna do is do that.

I'm not the one, pumpkin. I'm a I'm a tell you full of shit. That's what I actually like you, then I'm nice to you. It's weird. Well, we're gonna see if he learned his lesson by next episode because I'm asking you next next epi.

I'm gonna be like, what happened to the to the golden boy? What happened to him? He either lived to see another day, got the Snapchat, or got blocked. The world may never know because I don't know. I don't know.

Because, see, what had happened was I made a dumbass video because I thought the clock app was gonna disappear. See? Lesson learned, though. No. It's actually still kinda worth it.

I do kinda enjoy it because it kinda breaks up my day sometimes, especially when I'm like, do I message this one person or no? The answer's always no. But it kinda it kinda helps be a distraction. Distraction time. Yeah.

They're needed. Well and you never know. You might get a DM of someone asking to pay you for a fart. One can hope. No.

No. You gotta leave that that that open channel going there. True. I have gotten about three. We're gonna bless a family if we PayPal ed you 5 k.

What would you do with it? I've got I get ones asking if if, they can be my friend and my sugar daddy. I get, like, six of those a day. Yeah. I tell them to cash at me a hundred dollars immediately to so that way I know they're real.

They never do. I've tried. Because then I'll be like, I'll take care of you. Crickets. I don't understand.

Right. Oh, so you weren't serious the entire time? Well And it's always fun too when you get, like, multiple people with different names, but it's the same profile picture. Mhmm. You know what my favorite are, though, is when I get the DMs from you.

Those are my favorite. I thought someone else asked that too. I just got a message from you. I go, no. You didn't.

Mhmm. No. I know. No. It was real.

Like, it was you. I'm like, no. It wasn't. No. It was.

Let me see. I think I still have it on here. I don't think I bought them because I meant to tell you about it. I think that you you told me about one where they were like, oh, I was talk and you go, I talked to you five minutes ago on the phone. That's funny.

That's weird. Mhmm. You didn't bring this up once in our three hour long conversation. Right. Why are you messaging me this?

We were just on the phone. Oh, yeah. Because I forgot. Now I'm on the phone with someone else, and I'm like Who? You don't talk to anybody else.

Ma'am, I know it's not one of your children, and your partner is in the house with you. Weird because I was just talking to them along with you on the phone. You were about ready to sit down for dinner. Wait. What?

Who is calling you? Right. Why are you why are you telling me you were so drawn to me? What the fuck? You're just on the phone.

I didn't tell me you were friends, but you don't need to be talking about how much you're drawn to me and my energy. Right. Why didn't you just tell me that five minutes ago? Gosh. Yeah.

Love you, Amy. Freaking love you. Those are my favorite, though. Those are hands down my favorite. Lou?

Oh, this is gonna be fun. And then then I just go full on, like, we're just gonna drag this out to the point where I'm, like, harassing this person. Like because they were like, because it's always, well, we're friends. And I'm like, yeah. And then they won't respond.

I'm like, what happened? I thought we were friends. Why are you leaving me? Where did you go? You can't leave me like this.

I'm so sad and lonely without you. Please talk to me. Wait. I thought you loved me. What's wrong?

What did I do? And it's, like, just a one singular like, sometimes I'll put what enter, did enter, I entered acquittal. Just to piss them off because I'm like, you're wasting my time impersonating my friend. Yeah. Now I have nothing but time to irritate your soul.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Like, it's fun. Good times. Alright. We're gonna we're gonna wrap this one up.

I think that was a good so what happened was Yeah. There was a lot of what happened with There was a lot. That was a meandering conversation, but I'm cool with it because that's literally how our conversations go. And and you guys get to just be a part of our phone conversations pretty much. Mhmm.

Like, you join us on our FaceTimes or our WhatsApps or our Snappies or our text called Snapchat. Snappies. So our Snappies, guys. I'm actually gonna go on Snapchat and go, you've been renamed to Snappies. You have now been renamed to a SnapChat.

Tell I don't do Snapchat? Because I'm like, you know those snappy things that you do. The snappy things, whatever those are. Have you ever looked at pea like okay. You can look at people's Snapscore on Snapchat.

I know we're getting off here, but I have to get this app. My Snapchat score is ridiculous. I don't have any freaking clue what you're talking about right now. Yeah. So I don't okay.

On there, they'll they'll see rank you by how much you're on the app? Is that pretty much what you're That's how many Snapchats you send. Like, mine is absurd. Like, I'll click through my friends on here. Okay.

One of my friends is double mine, so now I don't feel bad because that is atrocious. And why is this survey number calling me? Hang on. Helen's whorehouse. How may I help you?

Okay. I'm a troll in real life too. It's fine. Yeah. On that note See See what had happened.

Let's help me on my phone. See what happened was You just saw a little bit of the cray cray. You're welcome. Love you. Okay.

Bye. Love you. Bye.