Dating and Snacks and Chat Oh My! Episode 2

Oh, welcome back, guys, to episode two of So What Had Happened Was. So What Happened Was, yeah. All of the things. All of the things. All of the things.

Well, I'm sure we have plenty to talk about. We didn't we weren't on the phone today. We had power outages, frequent snow and shit. Like, it wasn't the greatest. I I mean, I gotta read all day, so that was good at least.

But I mean, that's a win for you. That that's a definite win for you. Yeah. Like, I'm oh, no. I have to read?

Shit. That would be me. Like, like reading. What do you want from me? Torture ever.

Right. I would have ended up in my car charging my phone, I'm not gonna lie, because I probably would have ran out of battery power from, like, doom scrolling. But we even, like but even reception was bad too. Like, barely one bar, like, even sending text to you and stuff like that, they were, like, loading at the speed of smell. Like, it was just like, like Oh, yeah.

No. I would have probably been like, yep. It's time to go. It's time to eat myself now. There's no there's no point in this.

Well and today, they, took the car and Mhmm. Be going really super slow. They got to an intersection and the car spun, like, a bunch of times. Oh, really? He ended up in a ditch and had to slowly drive it out.

So, yeah, I mean, it's not like, you know, we're being big babies about it or anything like that. It was it was pretty slippery. So so needless to say, you're not being me where you're like, oh, there's a dabble of snow on the ground. I'm not going outside. No.

No. It was it was pretty legit, but everything's fine now. Well, I'm happy everybody is okay. Got your power back. Power.

Important things. Yeah. You're out of the stone age. I I know you have, like, a ton of candles you could've been burning also. Oh, yeah.

They were all going, and we have wood heat, so it's fine. Oh, yeah. See? Then that's not bad. So it's not like I mean, it's bad, but it's not as bad because you're not, like, freezing because everything's electric.

I'm like No. The only shitty thing was it was I was in the middle of making a grilled turkey and cheese sammie, and the stove went off right then. And I was like, well, one side's done. One side gets the toastiness. The other side is just regular.

It's lukewarm. Alright. Well See, I think that's why when I do that, I use I cheat. I use the toaster. I just put the bread in the toaster and then toast it and then add the cheese and the turkey and the bacon and then eat it because then to me, it's toasted because the bread is toasted even though the whole sandwich itself technically isn't toasted.

You're judging me right now. I'm totally judging you right now as as I should. What about the delicious meltiness of the cheese? And that's like cold meat on a hot piece of bread. Yeah.

I I it doesn't really faze me. More I do it more so technically if I have, like, a tuna sandwich. Not not so much turkey. Turkey, I'll bring out I'll, like, break out the panini press thing that I have. But, yeah, I mainly do it for because, like, I won't eat just a regular, like, tuna sandwich on just, like, soft bread.

It has to be toasted. That's a lot of smush. That's too wet. Yeah. That's why I have to toast the bread.

Yeah. No. This is riveting, by the way. I'm I'm sure everybody loves us talking about Right. They're like, so the sandwiches.

Seriously? Okay. Here. Here we go. For some drama?

We could totally fill in some some good times with sandwich talk because I do like the food. You know? But True. True. I mean But I have some drama for you.

I have some drama. Oh, shit. So what had happened was, I'm on dating apps as you're aware, and now everyone listening is now aware. Yes. I am on dating apps.

It is my own personal hell and torture. But they're not I mean, don't there's no judgment there. How many people do you know? Like, that's not people in each other's face. Right?

Yeah. I know. But I judge myself. If you saw some of these trolls, and I say trolls nicely, then you would be like, I I understand your pain. I feel your pain.

But, anyways so I was, scrolling one of the apps. I don't remember which one. I'm only on two of them and no neither of which are Tinder. But I came across his profile, and I was like, is this I know him, and I went to high school with him. Okay.

So last I knew, he was very married. And I'm friends with his wife on the book of faces also. Like, is this a new thing maybe, though, or maybe they're separated or some shit? Right. I don't know.

So, of course, I had to do, like, some heavy investigating. You know? Like, I had to go straight FBI mode into this and, like, switch to your church. Did they, like, match with you or something? No.

Oh, you just saw us out in the wild, and you're like, I need to know these things. Yeah. Because I was genuinely confused. I am. And I was genuinely confused because, again, like, last I saw this kid and for the record, I refer to everybody as kid, that's a male for the most part.

Just throwing that out there. But, like, he was very married. And, again, his wife and I would have conversations. Now let me say this. By no way, shape, or form were her and I ever like friends, I'd never actually met this girl in real life.

Our conversations were strictly over the book of faces at one point. I don't even remember now what we would, like, chat about. But last time and even last time I saw him, which was a couple years ago, again, very married, like, wedding ring, very married. So, again, of course, I went and I investigated. He didn't have married on his profile at all.

You know? Like, nothing. Like, no info. Divorced or separated or or Yep. Knew the newly single widowed or whatever.

Yeah. Went to hers. Still said married. Oh, no. Right.

So me being the concerned citizen I am, may or may not have texted somebody I know that also knows this individual and was like, I don't know what to do. Like, we're not friends, so I don't feel obligated to tell her. But at the same time, part of me wanted to reach out and be like, yo. Your husband's on a dating site. That's weird.

But, again, like you said, they could be separated. They could be going through a divorce. Like, I don't know, and I don't wanna insert myself in that business because, again, we didn't match. He just popped up because, first of all, for me, ew. Second of all, no.

Thank you. So, like, it was just weird. Open marriage? Polyamory, maybe? I don't know why I'm defending this person, but I you know you know how annoying I am.

I'm always like, there's gotta be a reason. You know? Yeah. And, like, I get a little too yeah. Right.

And as somebody who's gotten the okeydoke by married men before, and I say the okeydoke as in I didn't know they were married, went on several dates because they asked me out, they pursued me, all of these things, and then come to find out, oh, yeah. Hey. I've actually been married the entire time. We were separated, and now we're gonna try to work it out. And I'm like, okay.

Are you because, like I yeah. That's not cool when you find out you're the side chick Mhmm. Completely innocently. I still feel like shit for it because you're like because, like, if you're married, you're that's a no. Like, that that's a boundary.

That's a hard no. That's a big fuck no Yeah. For me. You know what I'm saying? Like and from experiencing that with two different guys, which just showed, again, younger Amy was way too trusting.

Like, now if anybody approaches me and they're like, well, I'm currently separated, I'm like, show me the divorce papers, and after that, then we can converse. Until then, no. Thank you. That happened to me one time. There was this person that would always come into work.

Right? Well, not like always, but they came into work often enough. It was when I used to sell cars. Right? And so this person had the money, and so they would get a new truck, like, every, like, six to nine months or something like that.

So, like Oh. So, yeah, they they were retrofit. So they so they would regularly come in. Right? And they'd ask for me to do it for them.

And, like, and then I would see that, like, every time he'd come into service, he'd come find me, you know, and walk around the lot with me. Like, stuff like that. And I'm like, this dude is hot. Like, this dude is freaking hot. Like, book talk guy hot.

Right? And, obviously, money. You know? All of these things. And, he finally, after one of the car deals we did and everything, I had to help him get stuff out of his car and, like, move it over.

You know, like, I'm just doing the full thing because at this point, we were, like, friends, you know, you'd say or whatever at least. Yeah. And he was like, hey. Would would you go out with me? And I'm like, yeah.

I will. Like, hell, yeah. Blush, blush. I was, oh, I don't know. You know, like, no.

No. I was like, yes, please. He knew that I was a single mom at the time, like, all of these things. Right? And I'm like, yeah.

Totally. Let's do it. Started texting me, setting up the date and everything. Day of the date, he was gonna pick me up after work. Right?

And I had my kids being watched and all of this stuff. Right? And shows up to do, like, the last bit of paperwork for like, he had to do, like, last bit in finance or something like that. And he it was that night, and he and he was like, so I'm gonna pick you up later and everything like that. I just have to get my kids, sorted out.

And I was like I was like, oh, well, do they, you know, like, I'm sorry. Was this your weekend with your kids? You know, or something like that. He goes, no. They're with me all the time.

I'm like, oh, that's awesome. You know? Like Yeah. You get your kids all the time. And he was like, well, yeah.

And I'm like, well, who's gonna watch them? You know? I'm we're just chit chatting, waiting for, you know, stuff, whatever. And he goes, oh, they're with my wife. Excuse me?

And I go, wait. What? Like, I I totally was, like, flabbergasted to the point of where I was like, brain does not compute what? You know? And he goes, yeah.

They're just gonna be at home with my wife. I go, you live with your wife and your kids? Yeah. And I go, you you didn't tell me that you what? I said, why are you going out with me?

Because I want to. And I'm just like, I cannot I'm like, wait. What? And I'm like, are you guys, like, getting divorced or something? He's like, no.

I did not understand. I was so I I looked at him. I go, Yeah. I can't go out with you. And I just left.

Never bought another car from me again. Never came back into the dealership again. Like, none of those things. I'm like I mean, I don't know how you'd be able to come back in the dealership after that. Like, dude, what?

Right? That's awkward. He was so nonchalant about it. This was the same guy that when he would come into service, he'd be like, I wanna go you know? Like, he wanted to buy me stuff, and I was in I'm not one of those people who are like, yeah.

Do not buy me things. Like, that makes me feel awkward or or that I owe you something. You know? Especially when we're just kinda, like, flirty and everything like that. Like, don't buy me.

Like, that's not gonna work for me. Yeah. But he'd always be like, oh, no. I wanna take you shopping. I wanna do this stuff.

And, of course, the other people in the dealership were, like, asking for a trip to the mall, you know, like, asking for, like, new shoes, whatever it is. And I'm like, no. I can't do that. But this dude's been offering me gifts take wanting to take me out, and he's got a house with some kids in it and a wife. And he spoke blase about it, and I'm just like, what?

No. I'm not I can't do that. No. Yeah. Like, at that point right.

Is it an open marriage? Do you get, like, swingers? I don't know. But that was the whole, like, even if so. Even if so.

You didn't mention it at all. And all I always would do all this paperwork. His wife was not none of the paperwork shit. So I wonder if she was more, like, stay at home, maybe. Obviously.

And she obviously doesn't know that, you know, while she's at home raising them kids, he's out there offering some random girl presents and shit. I mean, kind well, I mean, two different areas, obviously, because I'm in the Midwest. Again, younger Amy on one of the wild nights out. Sitting out at a bar called Funkytown Here. It's like a retro bar.

Real fun. Big group of people, mix of people. I went out with coworkers, and this guy came up to me, and he sat down. He started talking. He's like, hey.

How's it going? And I'm like, good. How are you? He's older because, like, I was in my twenties. This guy and I say older, so I was in my twenties.

He was probably in his, like, late forties, fifties. And he was just talking to me, and he was like, so if I bought you a car because he told me he's like, I sell cars. I I work at a dealership. And I was like, oh, that's cool. He goes, so if I if I gave you a car, would you come home with me?

And I was like, excuse me? I'm sorry. What? And he was like, well He's, like, 50. Like, he wants to be, like, sugar daddy stuff?

Like Well, I was sitting like, mind you, I'm with, like, myself and a group of friends, so I'm not, like, sitting there by myself. We're all looking at each other like, what is happening right now? Like, dude, how drunk are you? And he was like, you know, I just I just wanna know if I bought you a car. Would you come home with me?

He goes, you don't even have to do anything with me. And I'm just looking at him like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? And then his wife comes over, and she was like, you're the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life, and I want you. Will you please come home with us? He will literally buy you a car.

And I was just like My cat. I was just like, what in the fuck is going on? And she was just like, I I want you. Will you please come home with us? And I was like Was the wife hot at least?

I don't remember. I don't I'm gonna go with no. And I like how my thing is like, well Yeah. And I'm just like because I mean That that was the first time I've ever, one, been propositioned for, by, like, a married couple. Oh, I have before.

Like, I was just like, well, what kind of car? You know? Like, that was is it a new car? Are we talking about a pickup? Are we talking about Lexus?

Like, where are we at? Is this Toyota range maybe? Yeah. I don't know. He's like, whatever car you want.

And I'm like, there's no way, dude. There's there's no way. Absolutely no way. So I end up being just like, I'm flattered, but no thank you. No.

Thank you. There's wonder but but even like you said on those dating sites, there's there's a lot of people who post that they want, like, a third. Right? Is that what you're saying on there? Yeah.

I saw one the other day too where it said couple, and I was like, wait. What? And it was literally the couple, and they're like, we're looking to add extra spice in and all this stuff. And I'm just like Like, regularly or or I don't know. Is it just one offs and stuff like that?

I don't know. I don't ask because no. Thank you. I am a Cancer. Sharing is not caring in my world.

Like, the song Kill Bill by SZA, I swear to you, was written about cancers and for cancers because it's literally like she says, I just killed my ex. Not the best idea. Killed his girlfriend next. How did I get here? And it she's like, I'd rather be in jail than alone because she's like, so a bit a crime of passion, which most Cancers are known for, crimes of passion.

Don't loop all again. Cancers are sitting there looking at you like, Amy? No. Mm-mm. No.

I'm pretty sure I could make a whole video about that on the Clock app, and it would just be, yes. Hell yes. Hell yes. Like, it's a whole thing. It is a whole do you know most serial killers are Cancers?

I thought they were, like, Geminis and Scorpios. No. Number one serial killer is most of them are Cancers. That can't be right. I swear to you.

From what if I I'm telling you. I am telling you. Because, again, sharing is not caring. So I know I could never be in an open relationship, in an open marriage. Like, sharing is not caring for me.

Well, but You need another bitch, I'll pull out another personality. No. But it's not even so much that. I don't think I I agree. There are people who are just like, yeah.

That's no. It's it's not my thing. But also, it's not always necessarily about sharing as sometimes it's more of just about, like, having a experience, you know, that Yeah. No. And he's like, this is a black and white issue for me.

I'm sorry. There's no gray areas here. You have so many of those where you're just like, yeah. Nope. Yep.

Nope. Yeah. And that's the And I'm just like, no. I could see that. Well, hey.

The only time couple's cool with that. Like like, I Yeah. If that's what they do, then do it. I go for it. I am with you 100%.

I love that for you. But for me, personally, no. It's it's a no for me, big dog. But that that's like okay. So the one and only time that well, there's a couple couple people where my friends and I had to come to an agreeance of, you know, kinda like a hall pass person type of a thing where it was, like, Chris Brown.

The one of my friends and I obsessed with Chris Brown, and that was one of the things where we'd we're like, sharing's caring in this moment because it's for a friend. Both hanging out, you guys met him, so you guys wished to hear, and you guys already pre agreed that that was a thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Because the likelihood of it happening is next to never. But it was just the you know, like, That's a random have some of this that I can probably stick to. Because in the moment went to the concert. We went to the concert, and, you know, in our heads, he's totally gonna ask us to go backstage. No.

He didn't. Oh, every everybody thinks that they're gonna get I mean, I get Right. It is cool when it happens, though. I mean, I I mean, it is. When you get pulled backstage, that's pretty nice.

But but I get it. But, you know Yeah. So you have to have these conversations ahead of time. Like You gotta head to back. In case.

Right. Just in case. You never know what's gonna happen. Right? Fumble in the middle of it and look like you don't know what you're doing.

You gotta keep it going. Rock, paper, scissors or something in front of them. Like, who does that? Like, what the fuck is happening? No.

So there's certain times where it's like, okay. I could see that. You know? Like, fair. Fair.

But, like, everyday relationship? No. I I couldn't. Me, personally, I just And it's always been rough in the past times when people, like like, the again, I have so many weird ass dealership stories, but let me just but, like, there was this one time when I got propositioned on a test drive while I'm in the car with both of them, and I have no way out of the car until I answered them. It was a bit of a hostage situation.

I was gonna say it sounds more like kidnapping and, hostage one time and driven an hour and a half away by someone. I'm sorry. What? I did. Hold, please.

Rewind. Okay. We're not just gonna skip that. When you're a female in a very male dominated place Mhmm. Let's just say that stranger, danger is difficult, which it was nice that I had a lot of the dudes that were cool, and they would try and keep an eye out on me.

Right? You know? But busy Saturday. And this kid, I mean, he was younger, but whatever, trust fund kid got me on a test drive and drove me out to the middle of freaking nowhere at a body of water. And said that I, that we wouldn't go back until I said I would go on a walk with him around the water.

And I was I had like, the whole dealership was texting me. They went all the way up to management trying to be like, how do we get this person back? Blah, blah, blah. You know, where are you at? The tracker's in the car.

Because it was just like this really awesome sports car and shit like that. And this kid took it on a joyride for an hour and a half, and he got me. I I just had to be playing. I'm like, holy I had I kept because they gave me because I'm not supposed to have it, but I had a pocket knife in my boot Mhmm. For just in case.

As you should. Yeah. Well, when I'm going on test drives with random people, like, it Yeah. It made me feel feel safer, at least. Yeah.

The whole thing is crazy bananas. Right. It's like a circus. It's a whole new world. Yeah.

But yeah, I played nicey, nicey and was talking, like, gassing this kid up, you know, and just be like, oh yeah. Okay. Well, probably should get back. You know what? But I had to nice him out to get him to drive me back.

Mhmm. The guys grabbed him the minute that the car got in the back to the dealership. He drove it. Like, it was over at he added, like, a hundred plus miles to the car or something just on the test drive. Cheese and crackers.

No. So But So yeah. I got all kinds of fun stories with that stuff. No. But can we can we go back to a part of that story, though, where you added the body of water?

Can I share with you how many fucking guys, when they ask you on a date now, they ask you to go on a walk? And, you know, like, exercise, great. All for exercise. All for going on a stroll. Promenade or something like that.

Real Bridgerton esque here. Right? Like, we love that. However, sir, one, I don't know you. Two, you're typically asking females to go on walks around a lake or a pond or, you know, if there was an ocean around you.

Hike? You're like, you don't know. I don't know you. And you want to go somewhere secluded? One of us isn't coming out of here, and I'll be damned if it's not fucking me, bro.

Like, the hell is wrong with you? Like, there are so many guys that ask that, and it's like, okay. First of all, tell me you're a psycho killer without telling me you're a psycho killer. Like Yeah. What?

Yeah. That's where you end up with when you're like, okay. Give me your driver's license. You take a picture, and you and you send it to your bestie and be like, if I don't come back, this is the person that murdered me. You know?

Oh, yeah. I turn on my location. Oh, yeah. You share it with me sometimes. Right.

Here. I don't stranger danger. Like, absolutely not. Note to any male listeners. Don't don't take people on first dates to secluded places or bodies of water.

Right. Like, if you are like, I wanna take you on a picnic at a well public park. You know? Sure. Like, there's a couple parks here where, yeah, I could go on a picnic with you because there's no part of this trail around this park, and it's a large park, that is hidden by, like, greenery and shrubbery, and there's no large body of water.

Sure. Like, picnics are cute because, like, you took time to plan that. Right? Like, you got all the things and Yeah. It's not so bad.

About the sediment. It's about just be a little bit more cognizant of where the location is and making your date feel safe and comfortable in some way. Like Mhmm. We get it. You're trying to be romantic.

Good on you, dude. Good on you. Way to think about it. But Kudos to all the girls. Like, we'll go on first dates with guys and have the guy pick them up.

Oh, no. I won't do it. No. No. No.

No. No. I'll meet you. But kudos to them because they are some brave little toasters. Yeah.

And But I I can't do it. And it sucks that we have to be this way, but it's just being smart. But, no. Like, I get it. Offer to meet them close.

So they'll be like, hey. I wanna, you know, I'd really like to take you out. Where's a place close that you would feel comfortable meeting me? But even then, sometimes you don't wanna get in a car with someone. What if they're a street driver and they freak you the fuck out?

Or what if they're like what if they're, you know, you're you're Car is dirty. What if they smell funny? What if you, like Yeah. First dates. Ten seconds, you're like, ew.

Yeah. First dates, no. That's a that's a meet. But, also, if you think about it, a lot of times, if you are getting asked on a date, maybe you met already at a bar or at a club or at work or something like that. So Fair.

But, yeah, if you're not being asked wise, yeah, I don't think that that's I've been I've been asked out on a few dates, where they're like, I'll come pick you up, and I'm like, no. I'll meet you. And they're like, you don't want me to come pick you up? And I'm like, I don't want you to know where I live. You could be a psycho, bro.

And they're just like, oh, come on. And I'm like, no. And I'll start the next week. Push me, the more I'm getting more suspicious. Right.

Now don't don't get me wrong. There's been a couple instances in my life where I've done a, you know, a few questionable things and been like, sure. Why not? If today's the day I die, today's the day I die. YOLO.

Mhmm. Like, lesson learned well, no. They actually ended up being okay. I'm obviously still very much still alive. So Yeah.

But don't don't do what I did. However, the adrenaline rush you got from it was kinda fun. I'll say that. But no. Living on the edge.

Sometimes you have to. Life gets so boring that you're like, well, if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go out with a bang. But mind you, there's about four people with your full government name, your picture, and, your Social Security number. So you will be found. Trust me.

They got all your credentials, Facebook profile, everything. Amy's right. All of it. Here's their rap sheet right here, just in case. I really should work for the FBI.

I should. I'd be like, what information do you need? Who do you need me to find? I got you. Ten seconds.

Hold, please. Here you go. Okay. But, like, what's the weirdest, randomest, like, surprise that you've had, like, dating, like, where, like, you met up with them and they didn't look anything like themselves, or or it was the weirdest, most awkward situation, or they were just, like, a weird person. Or Coffee date.

Which one? Coffee date. A coffee date. It was a it was a coffee date, and I normally so the person typically always looks like them because I'm real big on, like, FaceTiming prior. Like, knowing you could talk on the phone.

You wanna compare? Let me yeah. Let me make sure it is really you, and I'll show you it is really me. Like, let's let's just, you know, make sure. No.

I went on a coffee date once to a Starbee's with this gentleman, and I literally was, being interviewed to be a wife and a mother. Excuse me. What? That was yeah. It was he didn't hold the door open for me, which I was like, okay.

Whatever. Strike one. Cool. It's like half split. I mean, it Yeah.

But There's different schools of thought where they're like, you know, like, we don't wanna be patronizing, but we also don't you know? No. I'll I'm gonna say it right now on the record. Hold the door open for me. Yeah.

Hold hold the door open for me. Yeah. Because that's You don't you do that, but, like, I'll hold a door open for some random stranger coming in at the store. So yeah. And you're supposed to be interested in me Yeah.

Hold the door open. I get it. No. Chivalry. Back then.

First. Do it. Yeah. But, like, we're sitting there, and he was like, so do you wanna be a mom? And I'm like, maybe.

Like, now? Right. How many kids do you want? This is first date questions? First first date, like, first solid interaction with this guy.

Like, we had talked back and forth, and I was just like, whatever. I'll just have to wait. Questions? No. He waited until I was sitting there, and he asked me if I like riding bikes.

And I was like, the vroom vroom motorcycle kind or, like, the ting ting, like, bicycle kind. And he was like, bicycles. And I was like, no. And he was like, oh, well, I ride bikes daily. And I'm like, well, that's cool.

He's like, for, like, you know, 20 plus miles. And I was like, holy shit. Alright. Cool. And he was like, so yeah.

And then he was like, so would you be okay with my mother living with us? And I'm like, excuse me? Yeah. How long what? Yeah.

How long, how long would you need to date before you'd be willing to get married? I want, like, five kids. Like, he like, it was literally an interview to be a wife and a mother. That was the most awkward date I had ever been on in my entire life. And from that moment on, I was like, fuck ever going on a coffee date again.

Now I have gone on other ones since then. But that one just kinda, you know, scorned me from coffee dates because I'm like, I'm gonna sit here and just get interviewed because that's what it felt like. That's kinda creepy. It's like I'm more than a walking uterus, you sicko. Yeah.

That's where you are. And why would you wanna have kids with someone that you don't even that you just met? Yeah. I I get the idea of kind of, like like, putting out there, you know, like, these are my nonnegotiables. Right?

Mhmm. Right. But you don't throw those even out there right out the get go. At least, you know, I don't know. Like but I'm glad I'm glad that you got all that so that you knew you didn't need to waste any more time with this person.

But Yeah. I just remember leaving and just being like, what the fuck was that? That was weird as shit. And just I'm like, insta block. Just instantly block, no thank you.

You're not gonna pass go and collect $200, my dude. Like, there's there's there's no way. And it took me a long time after that to agree to a coffee date with somebody else. So Like, a long time. Okay.

So one time like, this was this was long enough ago that it was still very new in re not not like suit, but it was newer. Right? Like, it wasn't as mainstream, like, especially after, like, COVID stuff when everybody had to date online or or meet people online and stuff like that. So this is so this is when it was still kind of like not everybody did it unless you were just trying to hook up or whatever. But I was, like, single.

I'm like, you know what? I'm just gonna go with this. Right? I See what happens. I, me, also super freaking naive.

Right? I just start I'm 100% honest, filling out my little profile, you know, taking pics that day and putting them up and doing all this stuff. Right? And besides, like, I I had that thing up for, like, five minutes, and it was like, okay. Here's hundreds of messages.

I'm like, who? What? But I'm taking the time to pull up each one because I'm polite, and I was raised responsibly. Right? And so I'm like, every single person I felt the need to respond to because it's rude.

Oh, no. Not to respond. Right. I was on there and I'm like, oh, thank you so much for saying hi to me, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, so stupid now, like, like I, I realize how bad that hell is right now because whatever.

So, but there was this one guy that I, that we talked a little bit back and forth. I was super excited, asked me out, met up at this bar thing. This is the weirdest freaking thing I've ever seen. So it's my very first online date after shitty marriage. Right?

You know? And Mhmm. The guy was was like, I was like, oh, you're super handsome, then takes off his baseball hat. Oh, did you get hat fished? I got hat fished.

No. Took off the baseball hat, and I was like, oh, that's that's okay. The reason that it was so bad is because, like, if you could see my face, I know that this is only audio only. So imagine someone just staring at you deadpan. Just staring at you, kind of have your mouth open just a little bit, like hanging open a little bit, staring at me.

And I was just like, trying to have a conversation. He just staring at me. And I go, why are you looking at me like that? You know? And they're going, you look just like your picture.

And I'm like, that's the point. And I go I should. I go, well, yeah. You know? I get it.

I'm me. Right? And I'm like, yeah. I do. But you look just like your picture.

And I'm like, yeah. So what do you do? You're real pretty. Thank you, creeper. Here I go.

The fuck? Thank you. So did you have a good day at work? No. Like, really pretty.

And I was like, I called, and I okay. I'm, like, texting my friends from the dealership because this was at that same time, and all the dudes are like, get out. Get out. Yeah. Just get out.

You know, whatever. Do you need someone to come get you? And I'm like, no. It's fine. He's, you know, like, he's not a bad person.

You know? So this hot guy who became a like, I don't mean to be shallow, but came a little less hot once they took their hat off. Like Kenny Chesney. I don't know who that is. Oh, that's a singer dude, isn't it?

Yeah. Country singer. Like, he's only attractive with a cowboy hat. As soon as it comes off, you're like, god. No.

Please put it back on. It's that bad. Okay. Yeah. That then?

You're gonna have to Google Kenny Chesney. Yeah. So that was a thing, and I didn't know about hat fishing. And so until afterwards. Very well.

Again, the dudes from the dealership were like, oh, Lou. No. You know? Oh, they helped me after this date. Let's just say this is my first foray.

But, yeah. And then I was like, okay. Hurry up. Can we just move this along? Like because I tell you, he said he said those same words probably a good 25 times throughout the whole date.

You're you're just you're just real pretty. You look exactly like your pictures. I didn't think they were real. You you're and I'm just like I'm like, okay. Walks me out to my car, pushes me up against my car, and kisses me.

Oh, no, sir. You should've slapped him. But I mean, I'm like, oh, thank you. Again, you are way too nice. You shoulda slapped him or, like, moved your head and been like, the fuck are you doing, sir?

The Alright. Absolutely not baloney breath. But I'm just like, well, he liked me? That just shows you where I was at in my Fair. In my self esteem and self confidence stage.

Not a proud moment, but I was like, okay. Bye. It was so bad. It was so bad. So that was my weirdest, creepiest first date.

That's creepy. The guy just sat there and stared at me looking like, you know, a fish staring Yep. With his big eyes. And no hair. That's weird.

That that's weird. Yeah. No. Thank you. Mm-mm.

Mm-mm. Now I have heard from different people that I've met online dating when I actually meet them and agree when it when I finally agree to go on a date with them. Mhmm. Takes me a minute. Right?

Like a stranger danger. I like my life. Well, you feel that they gotta make it through a couple phases first before you Right. I like to live, so I have to make sure you're not crazy, and the only crazy one might be me. But, anyways, it's always you look you look better than your pictures.

Like, you look like your pictures, but you're prettier in person. And I'm like, so what are you trying to say? I'm ugly in my pictures? And they're like, no. Like, you're really pretty in your pictures, but you're even prettier in person.

And I'm like, that's weird, but thanks. Like, I'm not like, oh, thank you. I'm like I think well, and that makes me wonder too. I mean, like, if this is the consensus with dudes, it means that a lot of chicks or Mhmm. If they're into dudes, a lot of the people that they're dating or they're finding on there are using, like, old pictures or lots of Photoshop or angling just just right or hat fishing.

There's some dudes out there that really do hat fish you because when they take that hat off, it's like Megamind under there. It is it is terrible, and you're really just like, ah, put the hat back on. Put it on now. Put it back on now. Never take it off again in my presence.

Thank you. Like, it's a bet. Like, they got some like, I got a big ass head, so I feel like I can comment on this. Some dudes have a big ass head. And when that hat comes off, you can really see the Megamind underneath it, and it's bad.

But but they get it. Like, there's nothing better than a guy in a cute baseball hat or or, like, I don't know. Does that frame their face, and they already have, like, the really strong and most guys have the beautiful, like, fluttery freaking eyelashes that are, like, 10 feet long anyways. And it just is like, oh, let me just frame this perfectly for you. Right.

I'm still trying to figure out how guys ended up with the super long lashes. Right. Like, why did y'all get that? I'm confused. Like, was that, like, a trade off?

What did we get? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they got that because I I really don't know. Maybe because maybe it's really inappropriate.

I know. It's like, maybe because all their parts are on the outside, so they're more vulnerable and can get. I was just gonna say because maybe some of their parts are teeny peenies, so they had to get blessed with something long somewhere on their body. They don't know. So are you saying that instead of, like, looking at a dude's feet or hands, you're like, long eyelashes, teeny peen.

No. No. No. I normally base it off their vehicle. I'm not gonna lie.

Are you scared of that? Oh god. If you pull up next to me in a lifted truck and you're a male, yeah, you got a teeny peenie. Or you're, like, four foot two short man complex. Like, sir, can you really reveal that ashy?

Has to be a stereotype. Right? I don't care. Have you done that? Have you done the market research on this?

No. I haven't done the market research, but I feel as though if we opened a poll underneath, this episode. I don't even know if that's possible. But if we could and if we did, there's probably plenty of women that would go agree. Especially if you're from the Midwest, you kinda already know.

Like But there but, like, but that also doesn't like, I grew up in, like, a small countryish town, and most people drove trucks because they used them Yeah. But lifted to where they have to, like, use, like, a mini ladder to get up into it. Oh, no. No. Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about. Not just, like, not just, like Like, cool, crunchy pickup trucks, those look nice with dudes on them. Right. Right. But I'm talking about, like, the asshole level lifted ones.

And they're pristine. Like, they've never put a single thing in the back of the in the bed of the truck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you're looking like you know the clearance is still the same level it would be if you wouldn't have raised it, like, 18 feet high up into the air to where I question how the fuck you get in there and get out of there. Like, if you have to climb your tire to get up in the vehicle, I have multiple questions for you. Like, why aren't you a monster truck driver at this point? Because there, it's acceptable to me. Monster trucks are cool.

Yeah. But, like, seeing that drive down the road and it's some dude that you like, is hanging out the window and just looks douchey? Remember when Commerce first came out and everybody was like, oh, those are super cool. And they're They're ugly. Remember who you're talking to.

I don't know. I remember when they start first came out, though. It was a big deal. Yeah. It was a big deal.

People loved them. Mhmm. I drove one once because I was the DD for my mother and her friends, and that was, their friend's vehicle was a Hummer. And then there's me, and I'm like, for as big as this is, why the fuck are the windows so goddamn little? Okay.

But the fact that you just said you were a DD for your mom and her friend. I was. I was I think I was, like, 21 at the time too. Oh my gosh. Man.

Everybody gotta arrive alive, man. Hey, kid. Come drive me and my friends around so we can get boozy. Yeah. I was in the bar with them, so I was I was good.

I was 21. That's hilarious. I was in the bar with them. It was a great time. Do you have you ever seen a group of, like, soccer parents hammered?

No. It's the greatest fucking thing ever. They know how to party. Because they're so repressed and so exhausted and and depressed from having all these children and no lives in the world. Remember if that was before or after I almost got in a fight at my sister's soccer game.

Well, also, like, though, isn't that where they were, like isn't that the same age that when people talk about, like, this stay at home wine moms that just drink wine all day and and just do that whole and Mhmm. Started doing the brie parties? I love Brie, but yes. Okay. The same age or but altogether, not alone and sad.

But Yeah. Well, like because, honestly, I think all of those people at that point in time were probably my age or a little bit younger. Oh, so there's a third party left in them. Yeah. I mean, my mom was the oldest one out of everybody.

But, like, all of my sister's soccer friends on the team, like, their parents were probably all in their thirties at that point in time. So, yeah, they were all still, like, super, like, let's go party and, you know, hang out and have a great time. And Well, and plus, once majority of them aren't much older than me. Plus, once your kids get a little bit older and a little bit like, once they hit their teens and they can do their own thing, then life's a little bit easier sometimes. Oh, no.

Their kids, I think, were, like, six and seven. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah. Then I don't know have any idea what I'm talking about then.

Yeah. They like they like to party. Now their kids are, like, grown, because my sister is an adult now. So now their kids are grown, and they're going back out and doing things. But yeah.

No. They were, like, five, six, seven year olds, I think, at this point in time. Mhmm. I would have to do math, and I don't wanna do math right now if I was 21. And I just think it's funny that you that that whole sentence of, well, I was the DD for my mom.

That's Yeah. Just Yeah. I was the DD for my mom and her friends. It's a great time had by all. I was entertained all night.

Like, I'm sorry. Again, watching a bunch of, like, soccer parents get hammered, it's hilarious. And they dance around. It's it's a it's a great time. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I'm pretty sure that was after I got in a fight at a soccer game or started to get in a fight. Let me preface. I started to get in a fight. I so okay.

Context. One, I'm not a fighter. I don't condone fighting unless you absolutely have to and you have no choice. Right? Self defense for sure.

Anyways, this little girl kept messing with my sister during the soccer game. It's it's competitive soccer, so, you know, there's that. Well, this, mother, who I guess I could now refer to as a Karen, decided she was going to yell at my little sister so bad that it made her cry. How old is your sister? My sister was probably, like, again, five or six years old.

Oh, okay. So she she was little. Right? Mhmm. Which sent me over the edge because what you're not gonna do is yell at my sister.

Lady, I don't know you. Because what I'm not gonna do is yell at my sister. Coach or a ref, then Right. You're just a parent on the sideline. Doing the sideline.

Yeah. Like, I'm gonna tell my sister to punch your kid in the face, bitch. Like, I don't know who you think you're talking to right now. But, it escalated from there because she kept going. My sister kept crying.

She wouldn't shut up. I screamed across the field, bitch, keep running your mouth, and I'll give you a reason to fucking cry. I may or may not have picked up the chair I was sitting in and started walking across the field to go beat her with it. So, again, highly protective of my little sister. No.

I didn't do it. And then once I started screaming and threatening the chick, then a dad on the other team decided he was gonna call me a bitch and tell me to shut the fuck up, which then caused the dads on my sister's team to then proceed to start yelling profanities like, dude, you're so fat. Brawl. With Yeah. With with little kids, you can barely run up and down the field and all of your kids.

It was it was competitive. Like, this was like this is you paid, like, a lot of money to be in this because you actually had to know what you were doing and you had to have skill. Yeah. It was a full on brawl that started, and then we all were going to basically, like, fight the other team. And my mom was like, Amy, you got way too mad.

And I'm like, you didn't get mad enough that some stupid bitch made your fucking kid cry. What do you mean? And at that point right there is when I was like, I can never have children because if I'm this protective over my sister, you don't know what I would do for a while. Kids. You're like, just Now I don't.

Yeah. At that point, I did. Well, younger younger Amy wanted to have kids. Older Amy's like, fuck them kids. Nope.

They are fun suckers. They are money suckers. And with the way prices are set up, absolutely not. No. But that was a whole bonding experience.

You know? And it made a really good story later because people were like, I didn't know you could get that mad, and I'm like, me neither. So Oh, just tested the limits of my rage. Yep. That's when I found out.

We make my sister cry like Mortal Kombat. Finish them. You know? Did you see that thing I sent you? Yes.

You have to now elaborate. You can't say that. And everyone's like, what the fuck did she send her? Look it up again. See it.

Okay. So, me and Amy love to send inappropriate things, especially, like, smutty, like, spicy stuff back and forth just to because we find it hilarious. Right? Mhmm. Okay.

I have to find it. It was okay. So here's it's just a saying. Right? Male moans is such a turn on.

I'd be like in my head, finish him. Like It's even better when you have the whole thing. If they're if they're, like, at that edge and they're, like, moaning, I do the same thing in my head. It's like, you gotta do the finishing move. Everybody has a finishing move.

Right? That just puts them over the o. Right? So, you know, I feel like it it's even more acceptable that I got you to watch wrestling because they all have finishing moves, and they're all specific to the person. So it's basically what you just said.

We can tie that back in Yeah. To wrestling. It's like finish him, and then they do, and you're like, oh, there it is. I got a gold star today. Alright.

I can live I I can go on with my day now. It is, though. Dude bones are hot. I mean, there's some that aren't, but mostly I was about to say, can we can we just say some that But if you're into it. I mean, yeah.

/: 2002

Oh, the song. Where they do the The Beverly Hills. That's where I that song. Mhmm. I don't know.

I don't really remember. I remember the song, but I don't remember the song. Oh, which one is it? There's a song that Weezer does, and it's like and then each each chorus, it gets better, and it starts out with just, like, and then the next one's like, and the next one is like. You I okay.

Respectfully. That just I did not do any good justice. Yeah. Because I'm like justice. That just reminded me of I don't even remember, what movie, but I know it was Mila Kunis being like, oh, yeah, baby.

Does that work for you? Like, she wouldn't like that. And she's like or no. She's like, oh, ugh. I'm done.

And you're just like, what? That's what that just reminded me of. You're gonna have to actually, like, play it because that just Oh, man. That was like, if somebody did that I I don't think it is Beverly Hills. It's a different one.

Which one is it? Was gonna say because that one's like, that's the place I wanna be or that's where I wanna be or something like that. That that one's not it. I'm not gonna even attempt singing because you will lose anybody who listens to this if I ever try to sing on here. It's that bad.

Maybe if I got, like, auto tune or something, I would try. God. Oh, I'm sure someone's gonna like, it's gonna drive me so nuts until I remember which one it is. We're gonna be, like, mid, like, eight topics away from where we're currently at, and you're gonna I'm gonna flirty out. Because you're Yeah.

Because you'll remember. Right. That's that's normally how that works. Hate that shit when that happens. Yeah.

It's like when you walk into a different room and you stand there for a minute and you look around and you're like, why did I come in here? Right. What did I need in here? And then you walk back out and you instantly remember, and you're like, oh, yeah. That.

And then you walk back in that room, and then you're like, wait. Shit. I forgot again. I used to get real nervous that that was, like, an early sign of, like, Alzheimer's or dementia, and I don't even know if I said that correctly. But I do that so often.

It concerns me sometimes. But then I have to remind myself I have ADD, and so my brain's, like, 18 different places at once usually, which is why I can't remember why I went in specific rooms. Yeah. It is gonna drive me crazy. It's gonna it's gonna happen.

Like, I have to put my phone down now because I can't. I can't. Uh-uh. The rest of this podcast would've been me just rambling about nonsense while Lou scrolls her phone, trying to find this song until she actually got it. Freaking nuts when I when I have it and it's, like, right there.

Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. You're still you're still trying to figure it out right now. I promise.

Why didn't you just Google the words, or do you not remember the words? You just remember the beat. Like, let's just say what it is. I'm gonna see if it'll work. Grunt grunting Weezer song.

It that's I am not the first person who's typed that. Do you know how many things people look up that are questionable on a daily basis? At this point, I don't even think there's something anybody could type anymore. That would be the very first time someone searched that. I really don't.

It's a really popular one too. See, and I don't know Weezer like that, so I can't, I can't help you. I can't help you at all. But while you're still pondering that I'm gonna stop because I just can't. And and because I'm I'm trying to do too you know, it's like when you when you hear a sound Mhmm.

Or when when other stuff's going on, it's like or if you have headphones in and you're trying to think of a different song, you can't because your brain won't allow you to listen to two things at once. It's my own damn fault. It's my own damn fault. I'll I'll stop. No.

We're gonna just keep having random conversations, and then I'm telling you it's gonna trigger in your brain, and you're gonna blurt it out. Yeah. It'll click here in a minute. Mhmm. But since we were talking about dating okay.

So, in the super, super toxic group on the Book of Faces, there's a post that I read about a girl that was like, I need advice. So, again, just seeking advice. What do I do or what should I do? Because I'm supposed to go on a date with this guy tomorrow, and I haven't heard from him all day. There was, like, 85 comments under there.

I perused. Okay. Wait. So they set up a date. It's coming up the next day.

And Mhmm. Do they not have, like, the specs on it? Like, when, where, how, or or or, like That wasn't part of it, but it was more like, because, you know, most people confirm. Like, hey. Are we still on for tomorrow?

Yeah. Like, did that come up? Yeah. Whatever. So I think it was more of, them wanting to be able to confirm.

Mhmm. But they were like, I haven't heard from him all day. So should I just assume we're not going on this date anymore? Just text and ask. Right.

And that was the that was the typical answer why, you know, just skimmed the comment responses. I mean, there was some girls that were like, oh my gosh. Yes. Just cancel. That means, you know, he's not interested or he met someone out.

And I'm like, what land do you live there? You know, like, 4 Twelves or something like that? Like Right. Right. We need more context.

Do you know what he does for a living? Do you know what his family situation is? Do you know how far away he lives? Like, what Yeah. I mean, most most people are like, well, given the weather we had out here today, you might wanna text them and be like, yo, bro.

You alive? Like, you good? Did you make it to and from work okay? Because, you know, like, it was ice outside this morning. So Yeah.

I don't understand why people don't understand the concept because guess what? If you say, hey. Just checking. Are we still on for tomorrow? I just wanted to make sure.

Mhmm. You'll know the answer. If they don't respond, then be like, hey. I haven't heard back with you or back from you in a timely manner. I'm gonna assume this is off.

But if you, you know, if you wanna reschedule, let me know. Not that difficult to use your words, peeps. You know? Right. Which I've noticed that and I don't know, obviously, from the male perspective, but given the fact that a lot of guys wanna be passenger princesses now too, and want the princess treatment, I think it's the same on their end where they're like, I'm gonna wait out and hold out for her to take the initiative, where girls are doing the same.

And they're like, I'm gonna wait, and I'm gonna hold out on him to take the initiative and say the things. Now as somebody who used to do that, like, I I would wait, and I mean wait. Like, you know, you picture SpongeBob five hours later. That's pretty much control in someone else's hands, though. Right.

Right. But I at that point in time, I was super insecure and didn't wanna come off looking, Meaty or meaty. Mushy or nag Yeah. Or, like, obsessive or, you know, like, too much. I didn't ever wanna come off like I looked like I was too much.

I always wanted to be the laid back cool one that you know? But now I'm gonna say the things. I don't really care. It's gonna go one or two ways, the way I want it to go or the way I don't want it to go. You know?

Like Yeah. I don't understand why people hold off and be in limbo unless if you really like the drama and and you you wanna be able to say, well, they never called me and not take any responsibility that this is a two way street. The victim. You know? Yeah.

Then if that's the role you wanna play, then I guess, go for it. But you're kinda just spinning your wheels and wasting time because like like and that what I said doesn't sound needy. Say, hey. I know that we had a, you know, a date scheduled for tomorrow. Are we still on?

If not, let me know. Or if we need to reschedule, let me know. But I need to confirm. I gotta move some shit around. Whatever you need to say, that's not really But even with that, that's like a I mean, obviously, we're giving context here.

e we still on for tomorrow at: 07:00

There really isn't you know, it's not like, hey. If not, that's cool. We can reschedule. You know, I gotta move this around, or I gotta do this, this, and this. No.

It it's as simple as, hey. Are we still on for tomorrow? Yes or no? It's a yes or no question. That's the easiest response you can give to somebody, especially if they're, like, busy.

Because they can seriously look at their phone, go, oh, shit. Let me tell them yes or no. And that's it. Like, you don't have to divulge into all of the details and all of the things. You know?

Well yeah. And then you then then it's on you. Like, let's say you send that text. Right? At least this is the way it seems logical in my head.

You send that text, and they still don't respond within, like, twelve hours or something like that, then I'd be like Yeah. Then we assume they died. Okay. I never heard back from you, so I'm gonna just go ahead and cancel tonight. Yes.

Even for that, I wouldn't even that I wouldn't even do a response, honestly. Because the fact that you couldn't even respond to me and it's been that long after that I know. Sometimes I'm too polite, though. I'm like Yeah. Yeah.

I don't I don't care anymore enough, usually. I'm like, alright. Cool. Mine I just got free. What do I wanna do now?

Hell, yeah. I'll take myself to dinner. Fuck you. You know? Like all those memes that say that say the relief you feel when someone cancels plans.

You're like, yes. Thank you. I could just stay in my sweatpants and my oversized hoodie now. Like, this just bled out of me. Right?

No more anxiety. Nothing. I don't have to worry about what I'm gonna wear. I don't gotta shave off. Fat that day.

Like, so many things you don't have to worry about. It is actually a big relief when somebody chances. I'm not gonna lie. Not gonna lie. It's it's pretty nice.

It is pretty nice. But, also, with the whole speaking your mind thing or say you know, saying what you want or saying your intentions to someone, one, it gets you a lot further. And from my own experience with saying the things, guys respond to that really well. Because they're I mean, historically, well, whether guys assume girls are always playing games. And so they're always trying back, but what does I mean by that?

What do they mean by that? So someone who speaks plainly and just is very direct and to the point. Not in the creepy way like that one coffee day. Oh, yeah. No.

No. This is what I want. I would like someone to impregnate me, within six months, and we are married or whatever it is. You know? Like, not like that.

But but, like, hey. You can be open and honest with me. Are you into me? Yes. No.

You know, do you wanna hang out? Yes. No. I think you're cool. Love to love to chat.

You know, like, if you're if you tell them where you're at, they're much more open. But that's that's in any kind of relationship, honestly. Oh, yeah. Like, I've had a conversation with one person where I expressed how I felt. I was like, you know what?

I'm not gonna hold back. We're gonna say the quiet things out loud, and I'm just gonna be super blunt and upfront and honest with you. Come to find out, they were like, I feel the exact same way Yeah. About you. And I'm like, well, why didn't you say that?

And they were like, well, because I was scared. I didn't know how you would respond. And I'm just like, well, shit. So there's a lot of times people probably feel the same way you do, where if you're like, if you miss them, tell them you miss them. Yeah.

Well If you wanna do dirty things to them, tell them you wanna do dirty things to them. Text are great. I mean, if it's appropriate and it's not out of the blue, it's not like you're sending random d pics or something like that. No. But Right.

Right. But if you're already doing stuff with them and you talk dirty, like, yeah, that makes sure they think about you. But here's the thing as well, like you were saying. People get all up in their you know, get all worried about stuff like, well, I really like them, but I don't wanna tell them. I'm like, you just submitted you or those feelings are already there.

So whether they reciprocate them or not, they're real for you, and that's just how you feel. So there's no reason why you can't let them know how you feel because Right. Whether they reciprocate or not, whether they're gonna break your heart or not, whether they're gonna do all those other things, you're already that that train's already passed. Right? So you're you're already there.

You can't be like, I feel this way. I don't wanna tell them. And then if something happens and you're like, I never felt that way before because you're still gonna be crying. You know what? So it's like Yeah.

And like you said, most people are scared to talk about it or scared to bring it up first or be the one to, you know, do that. And it's like Mhmm. If you're already feeling it, what's gonna happen is gonna happen. You can't unfeel those things now or whatever. Yeah.

I mean, like, the fear of rejection is very real. Like, nobody likes getting rejected. Nobody that's not a warm and fuzzy feeling. Nobody likes that. But, I mean, if you think about it, like, you get rejected.

Do you know how many time how many more times you're probably gonna get rejected? And it could be it could be something as simple as you go to a restaurant and you're like, oh, I really want mashed potatoes. Sorry. We're out of, you know, the taters today. What?

You got rejected for what you wanted, but because it's not held in the same sentiment Mhmm. You don't feel, you know, as bad as when it's, like, somebody you're into getting rejected or, like, if you get rejected from a job you really wanted. You know? Like, you're always gonna get rejected. It's, to me, better to know in the beginning instead of toying around and wasting your time, their time, everyone's time to play a stupid game and hope for the best.

Yeah. Because I think, like, it's okay for it to take a while for you to even come to terms with what it is you really think, what how you really feel. Like like, it's okay to not express when you haven't quite gotten there yourself or when you still need more time, everything like that. Oh, yeah. That that's totally fine.

But, yeah, once you kinda do, though, now you're just almost kinda diluting yourself. Yeah. And, I mean, I understand wanting to live in your DeLulu world where it's like, you know, like mine, I'm married to Pacheco. Right? So, like, we already knew it was gonna happen.

We knew it was gonna happen. Like, I love living in that world. Is that reality? Absolutely not. It's not.

But sometimes, you know, it's where you gotta reside from time to time. It's you just don't stay there. But, like, just don't be delusional about the things. Don't make up scenarios in your head that aren't really there. You know?

Just Well, because it also talks you out of it. Because then you're like, oh, no. If I do this, then what if they do reject me? That would be so embarrassing. And now you're having the conversation with this person without them being present.

And you're deciding how they're gonna respond, how they're gonna feel. You know, like you said, you you did it. You brought it up to someone and it actually made them be able to be honest with you back. And it's just like, I get it. We all have those in the shower conversations, especially like arguments and things where we where we have the arguments.

I know. Right? But you can't stay there for too long. You know? No.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. And, again, you know it's gonna go one or two ways usually. Right? It's, again, it's either gonna go how you want it to go, or it's not gonna go how you want it to go.

I mean, yeah, somebody could surprise you and throw you a curveball, but, like, for the most part, when you say, like, hey. I really like you, they're either gonna go, thank you, or, oh, I really like you too, and build from there. You know? Like Most most time my reaction is, you do? Right.

I'm like, since when? And they're like, really? And I'm like, no. For real. Straight over my head.

Like, I've specifically told people, if you are into me, if you like me like, we're gonna we're gonna elementary schools real fast. If you like me like me, you're gonna have to, like, grab my face and pretty much be like a bitch. I like you like you. Otherwise, all of your flirting, all of your signs or hints you're trying to drop straight over my head. Straight over my head.

Well, we had this conversation before where where where after the fact, I'm like, I'll tell you a story, and you're like, they were flirting with you. I'm like Yeah. What? No. No.

What? It makes me wonder how many, like, other oblivious people there are out there. And Oh, yeah. And then you got people who are just like, I tried my best and they shut me down. I think they just wanna be friends.

And you're like, this is why you need to grab my face and say, I like you. I checked the box. Yes. Will you go out with me? You know?

Like Right. Yeah. Pass me that freaking no. And I'm so serious. Like, to me, that's adorable.

Hit me with that no. We should make an app like that where where where you can send those back and forth. Like, check yes or no if you like me, and that's the whole app instead of swiping or something. A new dating app. Yeah.

Let's check yes or no. See? And make it to where it's completely free and where you actually see the attractive people without paying to where you only see the attractive like, on these apps now. You only see the attractive people if you pay. That seems It's a whole scheme.

That seems like There's there's, like, statistics on that too. Yeah. That who's the judge of who's good looking and who's not? Who's the judge of who's worthy and who's not? I'm guessing by how many swipes they get on liked, like, to get matched, I'm assuming.

I don't know. But I didn't I truly didn't wanna believe that until one of my friends actually brought it up to me. And I was like, there's no way. And they're like, dude, just pay for it. And I'm like, I'm not paying for this shit.

Like, absolutely not. Then come to find out, like, I got a coupon type of a thing on on it, and it was like, get one week for, like, $5 or something. So I was like, $5, whatever. Let's just see how true this is. Let's test the theory.

Paid the $5. Instantly, all of the guys that popped up on my, like, thing to, like, swipe on them, all super attractive. All of that. Wait. Like like, were they were did you did you actually interact with them?

Were they bots or something? Were they just like I didn't I didn't interact with them because, again, it was more just, like, testing a theory. I think I swiped on a couple of them because, you know, like, I'm not gonna lie. If if I read conservative, I'm not swiping on you. Sorry.

Like, I'm I'm I'm not. That can't be a real thing. That can't be. From my experience, it is a very real thing. Very real.

Very real. I know that there are some, like, maybe well, I've read in some of my books that there are some for, like, you know, professionals' dating site where you have to, you know, be, you know, a certain money bracket, but even that feels gross to me. But whatever. You know, like, that's like saying that someone's better because they're a CEO rather than a waiter. You know?

Like, what I get it. Yeah. But, I mean, obviously, not to really bring this into and this is the only thing I'm gonna say. Look at the climate we're in. That's that's what it is.

Yeah. Hierarchy based on your Worthiness. Tax tax bracket. Yeah. Like so, unfortunately, there are a lot of sites that do that.

Like, there's a new one called, The League. Like, just take that name, The League. You have to link your LinkedIn to it because you have to be a business professional, and you can't be part of this dating app if you don't have a LinkedIn. You have to go create one. And, also, you're put on a waiting list for God knows however long, and it will tell you, like, the amount of people waiting to get in That's just in your area.

Yeah. Unless you again, unless you pay, and then you get instant access. And most of these aren't really, like, cheap. Right? They're not they're not, like, here, pay $10 a month.

No. A lot of these are, like, 50 to $60 a month. Yeah. No. Right.

I'm like, nobody's wasting their money on that. Because it's like, if you're gonna pay for it, that's at that point, you go to, like, match.com or something where you have to fill out in a very extensive questionnaire. Don't they, like, match you up with, like, your personality types and Yeah. Preferences and all that other stuff. My cousin met her husband off of match.com.

They've been married for fourteen, fifteen years. I don't know. A long a long time now. Right? So that's how they met.

But, yeah, you fill out a ridiculously long questionnaire, and they literally match you with people that you actually have, like, common interests with. Like so at that point, yeah. But that only works as well as people who are telling the truth. True. And we've already discussed.

There's people people people will will Yeah. But you gotta think of it, like, did you ever take one of those server personality? Well, first of all, were you you were a server, right, before? Bartender. Yeah.

Yeah. Bartender. Did they give you a personality test before that? Mm-mm. Oh, yeah.

I applied to, Applebee's when I was 16. Didn't get that job because I failed the personality test. How do you feel a person? I mean, I have a sparkling personality. I don't know how the fuck I feel that.

A damn delight. What are you talking about? Especially at 16, I was the sweetest, most naive, dumbass there was. Actually, no. I take it back.

I was a genius. Anyways, I failed the personality test also at Joe's Crab Shack, but I still got the job because the the, hourly manager saw where I was a server at before, and she was like, no. She knows exactly what she's doing, and she's, like, on her game because to serve there, it's really hard. Like, they grill you. So Why would Yeah.

I failed the personality test twice. I failed every time. I don't understand. Yeah. To see if you're good with the public.

I am not good with the public. No. You're not. I'm not. So, it was it was that.

But they ask you the same question, like, five or six times to catch you lying to see, but they word it differently to see how you're gonna answer. And I answered it honestly. Like, I'm like, okay. This is my response. This is my response.

And, when I talked to the girl that was the manager, because her and I became friends, I was like, so I passed that personality test? She goes, no. You failed miserably. I was like, but I'm a damn delight. And she was like, you're funny as hell.

Yeah. But, no, you failed that shit. I still think that that it would be really fun to to what was that restaurant we were talking about where where you just insult people as a wait waiter or waiter? Yeah. That would be so much fun.

Were you just gonna just say whatever you wanna say to all the customers? I'd still be scared I'd get fired because we don't know what I'm gonna say. Yeah. I wonder if there's any, like, limits like, you can't cuss them out or something. Yeah.

At Joe's Crab Shack, I really pissed this one chick off because if you ordered, like, a steampot, I think is what it was called, you got, you know, the bibs, the for the crab legs. So that way you didn't get it on your shirt or whatever. And but we would write stuff on the bibs, and I pissed this girl off so badly because her boyfriend ordered crab legs. And I wrote she gave me crabs and drew an arrow because that was one of our, I'll have a list of okay things to write. So I wrote that you could write that?

Yeah. We had a list of approved things that we could write, and that was one of them because it was like, she gave me crabs. You know? Like so yeah. And, normally, like, if couples were sharing one, it would, she gave me crabs, he gave me crabs.

You know? Everyone would laugh. She went to the manager and was like, how dare she write that on my boyfriend? And now, at this point, now that I'm retelling the story, I almost think she probably really did give him crabs. It gets hit a little too close to home.

Mad. Right. Or did you give him another You're getting awfully defensive there, ma'am. You're real angry. What happened there?

Crab legs now. Or he had given them to her, and then she Right. Yeah. Right. Like, I now that we're talking about it again, now I have so many questions that I wish I would have asked then.

Somebody questions. So many questions. Like because we could write some really, like, I think somebody wrote, like, I cracked her legs open on a bit. Like Spread them legs? Yeah.

Like, slat like, another one I think another one that was okay was, like, slather me in butter or something like that. Like, again, we had a list of approved things that were all highly inappropriate. And how old were you writing these things? Oh, I was, that's where I started bartending. So I was a year older.

I'm like Are they I was like, I'm so they're thinking 16 year olds writing this shit down. Be like. I don't even think you get hired to work there, to even host until you're 18. Oh, gotcha. Okay.

So, yeah, you had to be you had to be older to work there. I loved it, though, because you got half off seafood for you and, like, four people whenever you wanted. It was like It doesn't want the perks were on point. So Yeah. I'm all for it.

The bat the downside was when you went home, you smelled like fish. Yeah. Because you're going through seafood Yeah. Water. And no matter how many times you wash your damn jeans and that damn tie dye T shirt that said I love Joe's, you smelled horrifically.

The restaurant before that was a Mexican restaurant, so we you already know. It's like in, in Buffy when she's working at the double meat palace, and she goes, you smelled the smell? And then she works in a fast food restaurant. She's like, you can smell the smell. And she's so embarrassed.

Yeah. Because it doesn't matter how many times you wash your clothes or what you do. You always smell like that. Uh-huh. It, like, never leaves.

Like, it get ins like, it's almost like in your hair follicles and stuff. Yeah. Like, I would get home, instantly, like, take off all work clothes, throw it in the washer to wash, shower, and be like, I can still smell it. It's in my nose. It's in my nose.

And, like, the like, you just walk past the washing machine, especially if I didn't, like, run it instantly. I'd be like, I could smell it. I can smell it. Turn it on. Sometimes it would just be my work clothes in the washing machine.

Just wash now. I can't handle this. I can't handle this. Damn you, Joe's Crab Shack. I love seafood, but damn it.

Smells so bad. So bad. What fucking laundry detergent? I don't know what to do. Right.

That water bill? That was a high water bill. That was Well, we had to do that, like, not nearly as it is an odd tangent, but growing up on a farm, you we used to have keep a can of, like, tomato paste next to the sink because sometimes tomato Tomato paste. Yeah. Tomato paste would take off a lot of farm smells.

Really? Mhmm. So if you had to wash your hands after helping on the farm because it it got pretty gross, then you can use tomato paste. Never would have thought tomato paste. I I don't know.

Maybe it's an old wives' tale. I don't know. But we used to use that all the time. Yeah. That's a that's an interesting one.

Tomato paste. Works great on if you get sprayed by a skunk too. If I'm ever aware of any way that could happen, we need to question the status of how quickly the world is ending. He was like, woah. Woah.

What? That is not a location I will be. So sometimes skunks. Yeah. Anyways, we we grew up differently, and that's okay.

We did. Nature tries to kill me where nature doesn't try to do that to you. No. But sometimes you can get pretty stinky out in nature. Yeah.

Yeah. I like looking at nature. It's real pretty from a window. I enjoy it. It's it's a safe place.

I would I would I would honestly need a bubble to go into, like, a forest. Bubble boy. Yeah. Did you ever see that movie with Jake Paul? Remember it.

I remember it, but I don't remember it. It's one of those things where I'm like, I've seen it, but I don't remember it. I just I think it's pretty funny. You should watch it. Yeah.

Yeah. What movie did I see earlier? It was, La La. I don't know what it's called, but it was some movie with Patrick Dempsey when he was younger. Can't find it.

Realized yeah. Yeah. Thank you. That's a good one. That was quick.

Uh-huh. And then I realized Love Don't Cost a Thing was a remake of that. Which is that one? It has Nick Cannon and Christina Milian in it. I don't think I think that one.

Definitely a February Oh. Movie. But I'll be honest, I never knew it was a remake until today. Well, you know, like like, a lot of those, like, Clueless is is is based off of Jane Austen, and then you have, 10 Things I Hate About About You is based off of Shakespeare's Taming of Shrew. Yes.

I I know all movies are based off of books. I just I know that. Not all. I just But, because if not, then I would really like to I would based on a book. A lot of them.

You think Magic Mike is based off of a book somewhere? Now I do. I call those smut books, Lou. What are you talking about? I don't care that's based upon Channing Tatum's real life.

Yeah. Channing Tatum's real life from a smutbook. Yeah. I guess there's some smutbooks that would be really but but no. Anyway Yeah.

I went off in book mode. Sorry. But, no, not all movies are based off of books. Are we sure? I mean, there's there's something to be said where they say that there's only so many stories.

It's just how it's you know, like, there's a finite number of of stories. It's just rewritten different ways. I can't remember who brought that up. It's like a That's true. That's true.

There's only so many different ways you can do the fool's journey kind of a thing. Like, there's only so many different combinations. And then once those combinations are done, then you just get keep redoing them. Yeah. Which I think that's probably why they're remaking them and remaking all the things now.

Because let's be honest, there's some pretty old and decrepit people that are about to croak that they're probably getting ready to remake movies that they saw when they were, like, in high school or something. So it it's, like, brand new to the younger generation, but it's a remake to the older generation. So, again, if we tie in, like, Labyrinth again, like, it's a remake and we're like, don't do that. But to the younger generation, they're like they could be like, oh, this is the greatest thing ever unless, you know, they have, like, really cool parents that were like, you will watch this. Like, never ending story.

That happens so much with with music too, where people are like, oh, yeah. This, and I'm like, going, that's a remake of a remake. Mhmm. You can go all the way back. This is no.

No. Mhmm. Mm-mm. I mean, but fashion, same thing. Everything recycles.

Yeah. I can't wait for for baggy pants and skate shoes to come back in. I thought those were Are they? Good. Yeah.

I thought those were. Because isn't that, like, kinda like the mom jeans? Mom jeans are typically baggy. No. Maybe it was just it may have been, like, late nineties.

Are you wanting more grunge? Yeah. Yeah. Grunge was a couple years ago, I do believe. Did I miss it?

Man, I'm still behind. Yeah. I feel like the first thing I have to say. But I still wear the same shoes and jeans I wore in high school. So it's like Okay, bragger.

What? I said, okay, bragger. Yeah. That I'm too cheap to buy new shit? But you're still the same size that you were in high school?

That's not that weird. There's not a lot of people that are still the same size that they were in high school, like, twenty plus years later. It's not like I got taller. Most people grow around the midsection there, Lou, when referring to height. I did for a while.

Shrink. When I had Most people shrink and grow around the midsection or their, you know, their ass starts to grow a little bit then. Just saying. Just saying. I don't I don't know too many people, especially after popping out a few kids also.

They're like, yeah. I'm still the same size as in high school. I well, I didn't wear them when I was pregnant with my two kids. Well, take it as a compliment. I'm saying this in a very that's a good thing.

Oh, I'm just like, wait a minute. No. That means I have jeans older than my children because I don't wanna get rid of anything. I mean, I have a T shirt from freaking high school, but I realized I that's that's twenty years now. Yeah.

And I'm like, why do I still own this, first of all? Second of all, why do I still wear it? Why haven't I gotten rid of this in the multiple moves I've done? Right. Honestly, I think it's because my signature is on the back of it.

I think I think that no. Or that no. I threw that one away. That one's long gone. I I I, therefore, don't know why I still own this one.

I don't. I really don't. Like, certain stuff, I I have saved. Be like, I'll wear this when I lose some more weight. It'll fit me then.

But mhmm. No. After this last move, I pretty much chucked everything. Chucked a lot of stuff on the last move. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't wanna take it with me. I was tired of it. Mm-mm. And even now, certain times I look around, I'm like, I could get rid of some more things.

Not moving anytime soon, but I could get rid of some more things. Just to declutter. Just to declutter. This is excessive. It's excessive.

Yeah. Like, so probably ten years ago now, yeah, ten years ago, I had lost about 50 pounds. I could wear jeans I wore in high school then, so, like, the apple bottom jeans that were really popular. Did you own a pair of those? Of course, I did.

You were in high school when that song came out? Yeah. Oh, I feel super old. Yeah. I think it was in house.

Already had a kid at that point. Oh, yeah. No. I had a pair of apple bottom jeans, and they fit me perfectly. And then when I could put them back on again when I had lost a bunch of weight, I was like, I made it.

I did it. I can't wear these in public because people are gonna be like, seriously? But they fit. Do you still have them? Because those are probably, like, vintage at this point.

Right? Oh god. No. Between the, like, 18 moves I've done between now and then, yeah, those those got chucked, like, those instantly and I used to have a Beyonce's House of Darian. I used to have a really cute, like, pea coat that was her clothing brand.

Got rid of that too. I only had one. Yeah. Mhmm. I, yeah, had that from her clothing brand.

I had I did never buy baby fat. I didn't ever no. I take it back. I had a pair of baby fat shoes that I technically just threw out, before I moved this last time that I had from high school because those were my shoes to go out into the backyard to pick up, my dog shit. That one person begged me to throw away, like, every other day, and I was like, no.

My my kid had a spirit week this week, and they had to dress up, in different decades for each. So, like, you know, junior, seniors, you know, they everybody did different ones. Right? And they got nineties. And so he went with the Junco jeans that I bought him.

The they're those ones that are, like, stove like, they are huge leg Oh. Mid leg ones. They're like JNCO Junco jeans, I think, whatever it is. Anyways, so he wore those, and I was like, those were so cool. Those were so cool.

That's funny. Yeah. Because I think the nineties clothes were, like, last summer or the summer before that because there's, like, real real clueless y But I haven't aesthetic. But I really like like I said, like, I'll still wear I still dress like a nineties, grunge, punk, skater person Mhmm. On the reg because that's what all my clothes are.

Yeah. Mine are all comfy clothes at this point. Well, yeah, because you have to do a lot of, like, getting in and out of the car a lot to you know, like, you need to be comfortable in that. You don't wanna be Mhmm. Yeah.

You gotta have travelable clothes. Mhmm. Yeah. I'm not not so much I'm trying to think. Like, I couldn't even tell you what decade ish I dress like.

I kinda just go shopping willy nilly and go, oh, that's cute. Well, you you like the you do like the, wasn't, like, the February, the baggy clothes? Is that the February? Like, the Adam Sandler? Like, the oversized T shirts, or is that something else?

No. That's to me, like, the nineties grunge has oversized everything. Mhmm. That's yeah. And the grunge was oversized everything.

Yeah. Everybody wore flannels. Mhmm. Yeah. It's great.

Yeah. I didn't I've I didn't really care for it, I'll be honest. That's my jam, babe. My jam. But yeah.

But, like, I feel like if you're a little person in big things, you look cute. If you're a big person in little in big things, you just look bigger. Well, but we were even talk like like, because it also depends on your height too. Yeah. Because, like, I'm short.

And if I wear something that's too wide leg, I can look like a little square. Mhmm. Yeah. I look like a Lego person. You know how, you know, the Lego makers.

Little mini fix. Yeah. Okay. But you like Legos. Right?

Sorry. This this came out of my head. Did you know that the plural of Lego is Lego? There's never meant to be an s on it? Yeah.

But I still say LEGOs. Everybody does. To me. But when I that was a little factoid I got in one of my smutbooks, and I was like, that's not right. I looked it up.

Mhmm. It's correct. Yeah. It is. LEGO actually gets really mad when people do that when they add the s and there's no s.

I mean, it's like Victoria's Secret. Most people say Victoria's Secrets, so they put a s on both of them. And I believe it's just Victoria Secrets. Is it? I believe so.

I Why did I think it's Victoria's Secret? Or maybe it is that way. I don't know. I have the bag in my room. I could go look, but that would require me to get up, and I don't want to.

Let's see. Google. Hold, please. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So it's Victoria's Secret. So the s is on Victoria, so I said it backwards. My bad. But most people add s on both, Victoria's Secrets.

Really? Yeah. I get I almost question if it's, like, location based. Well, yeah, regional stuff. Like like, regional wise, there's different places.

Like, growing up, we called it pop, but now everybody calls it soda. Like, I so I do I think there's things like that that are very regional. We had that whole conversation about the difference between I call them JoJo's, and you're like, what the fuck's a JoJo? And you're like, oh, yeah. Those are potato wedges.

And I was like, what? Yeah. That still throws me. They're wedges. And also in different places, you know, when you go get ice cream and you put sprinkles on it, Some people are like, you absolutely cannot call it sprinkles.

They're called Jimmy's. Excuse me. What? Yeah. Chocolate Jimmy's, please.

Chocolate sprinkles on the container. It says sprinkles on the container. What do you mean? It doesn't say jimmies. I don't know.

I learn all kinds of weird things. You do. Now I just have a lot of questions. Yeah. There's a difference supposedly.

Supposedly. Like, do they taste different? No. It's the same thing. Sprinkles.

Also, I didn't know how delightful Oh, right there. Sprinkles versus Jimmy's. It's weird. It's a regional term used in New England, so it's an East Coast thing. Jimmy's Oh.

Is anywhere on the East Coast, it looks like. Well, I know somebody from New York, and they never once referred to when we would go get ice cream as Jimmy's. And they're from they were literally from New York. Yeah. I guess when you go and you're in if you're in, like because we'd go and they would totally be like, I want vanilla ice cream with the rainbow sprinkles.

Oh, maybe they're I don't know. I'm just saying I don't know. Maybe it's yeah. Maybe it depends on which part you're from, But I I honestly didn't understand or know how delicious sprinkles were on ice cream. I don't know that I've ever had them on there.

Vanilla just plain vanilla ice cream with the rainbow sprinkles. Do they have a flavor? I always thought they just kinda were just extra sugar. I mean, the yeah. I mean, that's what it is, but there's something about it that's delicious.

I don't know what it is, but now I'm like, shit. Do they actually have vanilla ice cream? Do I have sprinkles? It's just I don't I don't know. It's delicious, and you need to try it.

Okay. I'm sold. I'll go get some ice cream and put some chocolate or some rainbow ones? Rainbow. So Rainbow.

Rainbow. So the chocolate is flavored chocolate. Yeah. Yeah. It has to be vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.

Done and done. Chocolate. Rainbow. Yeah. We can do another we can do a whole experiment.

Right. I have vanilla ice cream, but I don't have rainbow sprinkles. I'm failing at life right now. Way to go. Loser.

I know. Right? Loser. I don't remember the last time I bought sprinkles. I don't either.

I think because, like, the only time I've ever bought them in the past was for, like, when the kids were little, a birthday cake. I don't know. Like And you bake. Like, you make sugar cookies. Holy crap.

That's loud. So I feel like you need professionals. Sprinkles. We are. Sprinkles just for sugar cookie purposes.

I'm starting to think we're snacky today because this is, like, the second or third food I can't wait to talk about. Honest, the more we're talking, I'm like, I could really use the bag of chips right now. Mhmm. Or some crackers maybe or some cookie. I don't know.

I obviously, I need to eat. Very, very snacky today, apparently. Well, and and like I said at the beginning, my sammy did get kinda ruined. I only ate half of it because it was a little soggy on one side because it didn't actually toast because the freaking power went out. My life is difficult.

Like It is. So It's a very sad day. It is a sad day. Sad day. It's really ridiculous.

Okay. But, also, just to just to, you know, circle back for a second, would you so say you were in my shoes and you saw the person who you're like, I'm pretty sure they're married. Oh, yeah. We never actually well, I don't know. Would you would you tell would you tell the wife, or would you just pretend that you never saw it and just keep going?

Because you're not friends with either one. Yeah. I kinda tend to mind my business because I don't wanna get involved. Right. Okay.

And they're both adults. And unless they're, like, doing harm, like Mhmm. Physically hurting someone or or that sort of a thing, I mean, yeah, that sucks. But, I mean, I would tell, like, someone that I've never actually been friends with, yeah, not really my problem. Because it almost kinda feels like I'm gonna insert myself and just blow up your day for no reason.

And I have no context. I don't know the full story, but here I am, and I'm going to just drop this bomb. See you later. K. Bye.

Right? Like Okay. It makes me feel like a better person Yeah. Because I was, like, questioning But pretty hard for. If it's someone that you actually are kind of friends with, I wouldn't start out without that because I have a relationship with them to the point of where I'd be like, hey.

Is everything going okay at home? You know? Or take them out to drinks or something and just, you know, maybe they'll kind of share or maybe they'll be like, oh yeah, we're both going to see other people. But like you, you're doing a lot of assuming by thinking that you're doing this person a favor by pointing out what's going on when there could be a very simple explanation, they could completely know. They could be dealing with other things.

They could be just keeping it quiet for the kids. They could be staying together for kids. They could be doing like, there's a lot of things that factor into that. So that's where I'm like, yeah. Not my problem.

And I'm okay with that. I don't I don't need to. Am I curious sometimes? Sure. But not enough to stick my nose in that shit because that is messy.

Yeah. And me doing recon on it took me all of, like, two minutes anyways because it was literally type name Yeah. Look. Type name. Look.

And it was done. So even saying two minutes is over overkill on the amount of time it actually interest because you're like, That's interesting. But you can always just be like, I'm gonna keep waiting for further, information. Maybe they just are off of socials right now and they're not updating their Facebook profile or, you know, whatever it is. Yeah.

Because part of me was like girl code. Yeah. But if it's if it's someone who's my freaking friend and I know and we've been talking to each other and they haven't brought up anything and I randomly saw their freaking spouse on one of those things, I'd be like, girl. Right. We're gonna roll up.

Mhmm. You know? Yeah. Like, I've had people go, do you know you're on somebody's dating profile? And I was like, excuse me.

I'm on what? And they're like, yeah. They have a picture on their profile, but it's you and them. And I'm like Wait. What?

Yeah. So, on, like, another female's, like, dating profile because okay. So, like, this is another another thing. But see, what had happened was I had a significant other that informed me that I looked like I had two dating profiles, like, dating page profiles. Like, someone used your used your photo as their profile pic or something?

Well, they used a group photo. Okay. So, because I had I had deleted mine. Like, I wasn't on the app where I deleted mine. And so it was like a, hey.

You told me you deleted it. And I was like, yeah. I did. And they were like, then why are you here? And I'm like, because that's their page.

That's not my page, but they had used multiple photos that had me in them. So it That's the whole wait and switch thing. Remember when we were scrolling on your phone when I was there? And anytime someone's pictures are all group photos, it's like they're trying to get people in using their hot friends to get them in, and we'd always be like, and then the very last picture was finally them. Mhmm.

Yep. There are so many guys that do that, but to it's like group photos or ones like big stuff. Like, don't do that. The ex they have the ex girlfriend's face blurred out. That's another one too.

Don't do that. Like, it's so weird. Don't It's so weird. Just pics of you. Just pics of you.

And if you have a pet, okay, you and your pet, that's fine. But because when you're swiping, I swear to you, every every guy out here, every other picture is a male holding a fish. I don't understand what the appeal of the fucking fish is. Like, is that supposed to do something to me? Like like I don't know.

What is that do? Some, like, old school instinctual, like, caveman energy of, look. I can provide food. Great. You caught it.

But what are you what else you gonna do with it? Throw it back? Awesome. I know your little suburban ass that doesn't know how to freaking, like, gut a fish. What are you what are you seriously, bro?

Like, it's always nobody's talking to you, Siri. Shh. Go away. Sorry. But, like, no.

Like, it's all just fish, and I'm so confused. There's always the standard look away picture. I'm gonna lean up against a wall or a car and look away, though. I'm gonna stand here with a big cheesy grin while holding this bass fish in my hands, like and golfing. I don't find any of those things appealing.

Like, if it was putt putt, sure. But golf golf, terrible. Absolutely terrible. I mean, I would attempt, but you they'd probably never speak to me again because they'd be like, this bitch can't hit a fucking ball. What the hell?

Yeah. I I was on the golf team. So yeah. Yeah. See?

But I'm weird. You know? So what does that say? It said, but I'm weird. It's not something I put it on weird.

I don't think I'd put it on my dating profile. Oh, look at me. I have a Letterman jacket with my golf letter. I mean, there's a lot of people that golf. I'm just terrible at it.

Like, if that's what you like to do and you enjoy that, by all means, just don't make me do it unless it's putt putt or I just get to drive the golf cart. And it's always just like, look at me. I'm sporty. And then look at me. I I'm manly with my fish, and look at me.

Alright. I have all these friends. You know, and it's just not, okay. Like, I get it. Because it's like, If you can't just take your shirt off and take a shirtless picture, then what else are you gonna take a picture of?

Like Yeah. Yeah. Let me see your fish. It's It's a nice fish. Big fucking eyes, but a nice fucking fish.

Like, name that movie. Like Like We get it. Not everybody can be a thirst trap. It's alright. We get it.

Yeah. You don't have to. But then, like, you said show your personality at least. Like, make the pictures fun or interesting or Whatever blur be, but, like, there's okay. So on one, you can add, like, sound bites.

Okay. Where you're answering the question. Right? Like, it will be like, my green flags are, and then you can do a sound bite for you listing your green flags. Can I just share with you how many guys will pick, like, something and their sound bite is going, hey, baby?

How are you? Sir, that has absolutely nothing to do with what the fuck you just picked. You're really over here trying to sound sexy and hot? What is this? Yeah.

That's weird. Yeah. At least say something funny like beats bears battle circle accident. Or something and laugh at the end or I don't know. Right.

But I don't know. There is something about, like like, if it was, like, what are your turn ons? And you're just like, if you talk to me like this. And then be like, okay. Woo, that worked.

You could tell. You could definitely tell you're like smutbooks. Thank you. Right? Book talk.

No. Like, like, I told you, if I could get paid to either read smutbooks for a living, narrate smutbooks for a living, or, I don't know, do do something where all I have to do is just, like, say all the quiet things out loud? Okay. Keep people listening. If you know someone that knows someone that may know someone or you yourself are that one, hook Lou up, please and thank you.

Let her live her dream Right. Of being able to narrate Smutbooks. Just live my dream. I don't know. It's a simple ask.

Mhmm. I mean, that that's what I want. I don't wanna narrate smut books because, again, that involves reading. But, if I could get paid to talk all day, sign me up. Well, that's how we do the podcast.

Right. I could I could talk all the oh, that's a lie. Certain days, I don't wanna speak at all. But Everybody needs a break. Part.

Just a little just a little break. Turn it off. For the most part, I can ramble. Mhmm. I can you can ask my mother.

She'll be like, she doesn't shut the fuck up. That's bad, which is probably why I haven't actually talked to her because she knows, like, I'm about to be around her for multiple days in a row, and my child does not shut the fuck up. You're right. So we're just The party's here. Mhmm.

Welcome. Mhmm. And it's gonna be your and I'm gonna be around my entire family. Ugh. Oh, it's gonna be it's gonna be a great time had by me.

I don't know about all, but, no, my sister and I will have a great time. Why? Because we'll be in true menace form. We already planned. Like, didn't your sister be like, bring a bottle of tequila?

Yeah. Yeah. We're definitely heading up a liquor store. We're definitely heading up a liquor store. We're probably gonna get in trouble.

Like, we're going balls to the wall, y'all. Well, like, when I was talking to my mom about it, right, I was like, can I get can I because the whole point of this trip is it's my grandma's birthday? Mhmm. So I was like, can I get her a cake? Well, your aunt already got her a cake.

I don't fucking care. Can I get her a cake that says happy 70 birthday? Because it's been, like, a running joke since I was, like, five. Every year her birthday occurs. How old is she?

I don't know. 72. Because 72 to me is just, like, perfect grandma age. Like, you're 72 for life. So I'm letting you know right now, Lou, when either of your children decide to procreate and have a crotch goblin of their own Mhmm.

You'll forever be 72 to me. I'm sorry. I don't care that that's, like, potentially, like, thirty years. You're 72. I'm sorry.

That's just what it is. Thank you. Once you hit grandma status. Like, my aunt is technically 72. No.

I actually think she's quite close to actually being 72 now that I just said that out loud, but she's she's got grandkids. You're 72. You're grandma. Yeah. I hope that I got some time before that happens.

I mean, I'd I I think you do. I would like to think you do. Yeah. But I was just letting you know. So, anyways, I wanna get my grandmother a a cake that says happy 70 birthday, and my mom's trying to, you know, shit on my parade over here talking about that I already got a cake.

It's it's a joke gift, ma. It's an inside thing between me and grams. Right. I don't care. Okay.

What we don't even know if the cake they bought is gonna be good. At least I know if it's one I purchased, it's gonna be fucking delicious. I hate can't trust everybody. What the hell's wrong with you, lady? Plus Family or not.

And we've already decided we're gonna get drunk, and guess what? We're gonna need cake at 4AM, mom. Right? And probably tacos. Like Pull it together, ma.

Right. I don't understand. We're planning ahead here. Right. We're trying we're trying to be diligent with the party planning, and I'm like, so what food we gonna have?

Like, where's this who's getting the catered food? Amy's like, yeah. Yeah. Grandma, happy birthday. Where's the food, the booze, and the cake?

Right. I flew all the way here. I need those things first. Right. Risk my life because planes are dropping fucking daily at this point.

So, we're gonna have to have a side conversation, not on here, about some things, because I'd like to live. Staying. So, yeah, like, I'm trying to I'm trying to make sure I have a great time. My grandmother has a great 70 birthday for at least the thirty fifth year in a row, thirty second year in a row, but she's been 32 72. Math was starting to go in my head.

Sorry. I was trying to figure out the years, and I was like, wait. Now we're just messing up all of the numbers because I'm trying to do math. So It's probably because you're, getting sleepy and hangry. No.

I'm not hangry. I I made breakfast for dinner. It was delicious. I definitely am getting hangry, I think. Yeah.

So I think you need the snackies. I do need the snackies. But this is still fun. We Sure. A whole another episode of Right.

Rambling about absolutely freaking nothing. But this very much feels like just a regular conversation. And maybe you don't have have friends that you can chitchat with, and you can feel like you're a part of just random conversation. And let's be honest. Nothing is something.

It's it's something. When someone's like, what are you doing? They're like, nothing. Well, technically, you're doing something because something is nothing. Amy logic one zero one.

You're wise as an owl, babe. Wise as an owl. See, what had happened was I lived a lot of life. Alright, y'all. Well, who knows when we'll do another episode?

Probably soon because we can talk way too long is the problem. We need to I think it's a great deal. Anyhoo. Okay. Love you guys.

Love you. Time for snackies. Snacky time. Snacky time. Num nums.

Alright. Love you guys. Goodbye. Bye.