So What Happened Was...Live From TikTok Episode 6

Just throwing this out here, because I know Sarah Sarah asked some spicy questions from time to time. Right? That's cool. Just message me on IG. Yeah.

We did we discussed, like last time, what were we discussing? Mushroom peens or something like that? I I can't even remember. Like, it was something along those lines. The only thing that we might have to do is filter our language a little bit because of TikTok.

That's the only thing we might actually have to do. But, like, if it if it can be discussed, we're gonna discuss it, which is everything. Yeah. So the whole point behind behind the podcast was to be, like, being able to almost be a fly on the wall in between two people who are just on the phone talking. I think a lot of it has to do with because we you know, as you become adulties, I mean, this happened for me in my whole life, but as you become adulties, it's really hard to make friends.

I mean, we're stuck in our ways. Right? We we've already got our quirks. We we know ourselves, all that stuff. Right?

And so it was one of those things of where not everybody has, like, a phone bestie or a phone friend that they can just literally talk about anything with and nothing's off the table. And so And no judgment. No judgment, no nothing. Like you can say, do, you know, whatever it is that you are. You can be the weirdest version of you, the one that you keep behind closed doors.

You know? You can do that. Mhmm. And it not everybody has that. And so it we kind of originally, like, what what if other people could kinda, like, listen in on our random ass phone calls?

And and in doing so, kind of, like, feel like you get to have that girl talk stuff. I don't know. But it doesn't have to just be girls. I mean, we we you know? It's not gender gender specific, but, you know, like, have those people have those people that you can be like, okay.

But, have you ever tried going back to her? Like, you know, like and actually have someone that can talk about it. Right? Hey, Gracie. Yeah.

Yeah. Because y'all y'all gonna learn a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Y'all think I'm crazy and say unhinged things all my lives that you've seen thus far? Y'all ain't seen nothing yet because this gets juicy, gets dirty, like, spicy dirty.

But it's the questions that who else are you gonna ask these questions to? And it's not like we actually have valid advice. We have no authority whatsoever to speak on, but we say it with our whole chest because that's what friends do. We're like, no. I definitely think you should try that.

You should definitely do that. And then come back to us. Ones, yeah, we're not the ones you come to. If you wanna be told, no. Don't do that.

Well, especially me. I'm the one that's like, you should totally go do that. That's a great idea. And then you're like, it might end up in jail. And I'm like, well, you know, as long as there's bail money, good.

We're good. We don't even have to worry about it. Right? I I I generally tend to think that that you're kind of the balls to the wall one, and I'm a little bit more, you know, like good cop, bad cop version. I think I think I'm the more, well, let's just think that through first.

And Amy's like, no, we throw our hands first and we ask questions later. And I'm just like, but should we? And you're like, yes, you need to stand up for yourself. So we are good balance of each other because she gets me from being too soft and I get her to kind of dial it back sometimes when she gets a little too cray cray, you know? Mhmm.

So, you know, it is what it is. It's fine. Yeah. But I'm the good cray cray. I'm not like the cray cray, like, I agree.

That's why we're friends because it's it's the it's the right amount. Sometimes I get a little bit, like, scared for myself. Like No. Like, when I came and visited you and you were yelling at the Uber driver and I was slowly melting into the seat just like this. Okay.

I was just slowly just like Okay. So if you guys didn't know already, I have this thing called, road rage. Right? I don't like It's just random things. Yes.

It it just it just happens sometimes. Yeah. I don't like when people do dumb things when they're driving because my second job is DoorDash, so I drive a lot. Yeah. Right?

Well, we get back to my place, and I there's a parking garage where I live, attached to my building. And this dude pulls, like, right into the center of, like, the driveway or what's considered the driveway because it's only wide enough for, like, one car in, one kinda car out, like, side by side. Right? Pulls right into the center. And it's a Tesla, which makes it worse for me.

So we're sitting there the mini AC Tesla. No. Because you're just like I know. Tesla. Like, I don't like you.

Right. So I'm like, alright. So we end up sitting there waiting. He comes down, and I'm like, bro, what the fuck? You're just gonna pull right in the center of this?

Like, what what the fuck are you doing? Like, seriously, dude? Are we fucking shitting me right now? And this is And she is literally just sliding down in the seat. Because I because mind you, my windows are down, and I'm yelling it at this random ass man that I don't know.

Like, bro, I will get out this car. We can run this right now. I don't care. And she's just like, oh my god. Who am I with right now?

Because mind you, she lives in a completely different state. She flew to see me, and this is the very first time we're meeting in real life. And she's probably like, what the fuck did I just sign up for? Who is this fucking genius? I'm not a psycho.

We were friends for, like, a full year without any issues. I saw I saw the behind the scenes. I'm not I'm not foolish. You know? We we already said I'm the sensible one.

So, you know Right. You did your recon. Right. You did your recon. It wasn't like, you know, you see someone on the Internet and you're like, oh, let me go.

Let me go inside to them right now. We just become best friends? Yeah. We did. I'm gonna get on a plane to meet this total random stranger.

No. No. I didn't do that. Hey, Ray Ray. Yeah.

How's it going, Ray Ray? So yeah. So mind you, anytime we're in a car and I'm driving, obviously, I'm driving because she's visiting, just road rage out the ass. And I'm like, are you gonna fucking go? Are you gonna push your gas pedal?

What the fuck? And she's just like, this is fun. What kind of music do you wanna listen to now? I just play DJ in the in the in the seat, but then, of course, like, it's all Amy's music. Me me and Amy, like, like, I I I love all genres, but Amy's is nothing but just angry girl music.

Angry. It is like savage okay. Savage girl music. Thank you. Yeah.

Savage. That that would be a good title of everything Amy listens to in any way. And I'm just like, I don't know. She's she's just, like, rapping, saying every single freaking word in all these songs. And I'm like, who's this?

She's like Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, Glow Rilla. It doesn't matter. So we can go them all. And I'm just Tupac. I'm like, everyone I'm getting an education right now, and I'm liking it.

I'm here for it. You know? But you have to admit, randomly, there would be, like, Blink one eighty two. Oh, yeah. I was Or something.

Like, you had a good shuffle. I was just but there was a lot of stuff. I was like, I need to get out more. I'm still stuck in my nineties and and eighties and seventies rock shit. You know?

So Yeah. Lot of t swift too. There was a lot of t swift. She's not lying when she says she's obsessed. I'm not obsessed.

I don't know if I'd consider myself the Swifty, though, because I don't wear I don't I don't do the friendship bracelets. Do we need I know I have a Lego Do we need a Taylor Swift? Your wall right now? Do I mean, we can we can show them. It's fine.

It's fine. I cleaned my house today, guys. Just in case. Just in case we needed a house tour tonight, I cleaned my house. And by cleaned, I mean dusted.

Look out. In clean my shower. It's so much fun. They aren't they? Right?

Like Well, if you can see it, Taylor's over there. Yeah. There's a big ass fucking picture. I mean, but it's but it's not just this. Okay.

She can't take that Lego apart because she thinks it'll make the Chiefs lose. Okay. Well, we fucking lost the Super Bowl, so now I can take it apart. But it now I feel like I've bonded with fucking Taylor up there, and I don't feel like I can even take it down. But side note, do you know how many people offered to pay me to make those for them of different celebrities and shit?

Why haven't you done it? We've been talking about side gigs forever. We're about ready to start selling our feet, girl. I know my toes are painted too. I should have sold it.

Too. They're purple. I was like, yeah. Mine are white. Please do.

Mine are purple. Because everybody in this is like, why the fuck did they just show their feet? Because we're it's a teaser. We're thinking about selling feet pics because you know what? A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and there's no shame.

Right? Right. Right. I mean, it's just feet. But, I mean, all the more I keep hearing is feet's the gateway.

It's don't fucking care if it's the fucking channel. I don't I don't I'm a I'm gonna I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. I already got the okie dokie. So it's just like you know? It's a very valid profession, and I judge no one.

I'm like, get it girl or guy. I'm very much single. So but I don't have to get the okay from anybody. I know you don't. Good for you.

But I got mine because I'm also like Right. You ain't really tell me what I can and can't do? No? No. I didn't think.

Right. Right. And plus, I might need your assistance. Like, I might have you know, I might need you to get down on the ground and take pictures of my feet from this angle Yeah. Instead of this angle.

I'll be like, hey, babe. Come pour some weird food on my feet. We're gonna take a video of it. Right? Like, I've seen ones, like, where girls have stepped in, like, honey or stepped on a pizza, like, a brand new hi, Bells.

A brand new fucking piece of pizza. And I'm just like, you just ruined the goddamn pizza. But then they span over, because of the clock app, and they're like, paid $700. And I'm like, you just got paid $700 to put your fucking toes in a slice of goddamn fucking pizza? The hell is this shit?

Yeah. We're doing this wrong. We're making this way too difficult. Belle Bells will back me up. I told you about that one book I read, and it was they literally walked you step by step through doing the feet pics.

And she had her dude, like, helping her, you know, like, with all the setup and stuff and picked out her shoes, and I was just like, let's do it. Let's do it. Right? I need one of these damn sugar daddies that keep coming into my fucking DMs to actually be legit. Like, send me the money.

Don't don't send me the, hey. What would you do with $5,000? Bitch, spend it. The fuck you think I'm gonna do? Right.

First of all, you give me $500. First thing we're getting is tattoos because I am a Right. Respectable spender. So, you know, I'm gonna get a tattoo. Legos actually scratch that.

I'm gonna end up buying a fucking princess Jasmine after hours painting from SV. Done and done. You've been talking about that painting for, like, four months, girl. I know. But guess who finally time to just bite the bullet and get it.

Right. Because guess who finally saved all of the money for this fucking painting? I'm gonna guess Amy did. She sure the fuck did. It's stashed in cash in my fucking bedroom, bro.

Like, come on. I I have it stuffed under my mattress. It's in my freezer. The longer the longer we delay, which is my fault. I'm the problem.

Hi. It's me. The problem is me. It's cocky, girl. We're talking about selling feet pics.

The fact that you've been able to save enough for for a day. That it hasn't occurred yet is because I'm the problem. Right? Because I was messaging him about what I wanted, and I'm being overly specific instead of just going to his gallery and being like, I want that one. I'm like, no.

I want it to look like this, this, this, this, and this. Thank you. Wait. But I also have this idea and this idea because we know I have fucking ADD. I know.

So But you're practically commissioning one is what you're doing. Right. Right. Which he's aware, there's no complaints. Right?

There's no complaints. No. No. Totally cool. Totally fine.

I can submit, but I'm a proud still his pictures isn't his wheelhouse, isn't it? I mean, he blocked me. Still Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No. Like, he's totally cool with it. I'm just like, look, sir. The longer it takes, the more money I'm gonna save, therefore, the bigger piece I could order.

I don't see any problems with this. Yeah. How big are you going with it? Shit. Fuck it.

Go big or go home at this point. This point, if you're gonna get it, you don't wanna get it with something that's, like, this fucking big. Oh, no. It was never gonna be, like, small. It was actually gonna be a pretty big size, because it's going in my bedroom.

Yeah. I well, because you're doing it across that big wall, right, in your bedroom? No. That's where the projector goes, like, across Oh, I have your ceiling. What are you talking about?

I have a ceiling fan now. My last place didn't have a ceiling fan. This place has a ceiling fan. Am I really remembering you watching the movies on the ceiling at your old place? Yes.

Because there was no Time flies to me. Because that's where I that's where I tacked up a fucking twin flat sheet to my ceiling and, would lay in my bed lazy as shit and just lay there, like, staring directly up at the TV because it was on my ceiling. Like, I was spoiled as shit, but now I have a whole ass ceiling fan, and I'm like, I can't fucking put it there. So, like, my one wall directly across from my bed is completely empty because the projector takes up the entire wall, basically. Okay.

So Nate got, like, this this pair of glasses that you can lay in bed and you put them on, and you can just keep your book, like, here and read it. Mhmm. So it's got, like, those things that's almost like it it angles it down. Makes me sick as can be. Like, I'm car sick by the time I'm trying to read this thing.

I can't do it. It's too much. So I don't know. Have you seen those things too where you can lay in bed and someone and it's got, like, this, you know, like, thing and it hangs your phone or your Yes. IPad or something in front of you.

Hey, Naomi. Yes. Hi, Naomi. But you know what I'm saying? Mhmm.

Mhmm. Also, hi, everybody that you joined. Just real quick, if you just got here, we're doing a live recording of our podcast on TikTok live right now. Also, shout out Lou. Yesterday was her birthday.

So everyone in the chat, can we send her happy birthdays, please, and thank you? Officially old lady. Whatever. She has turned 29. It's fun.

Yeah. I did. The yeah. Nate came home yesterday, and he was, like, going, how's it feel to finally be 39? I'm like, great, actually.

I'm feeling pretty good about it. Suck up. Mhmm. Kiss ass. Mhmm.

Right? He is but you love him for it. I know. Why you picked him. Mhmm.

That's that's why you picked him. But, like, sorry. I had my thought. Okay. I I do have a thought because you brought that up and Nate's come up in conversation.

We need to discuss the haircut theory. You you mean you're absolutely going fucking feral theory? But it's not just me. Okay. You did this too with that one dude that that you were, like, super into that was a little bit more athletic and did things.

I don't wanna share too much information. But they did some, fighty fights and things like that. Oh, I was like, is it bad? I don't remember who the fuck you're talking about right now. You dirty girl.

You. No. Okay. So no. The okay.

And then you were like, oh, I didn't really like this long hair, but on you, it's great. And then he cut his hair, and then all of a sudden you're like going, what so? Hair the hair effect is a thing because it can totally change your whole view. My oldest had this one boyfriend for, like, it was like a year or something like that. Mhmm.

And he kinda had that that beaver hair back in the day, you know, like, the swoopy beaver hair where it's kinda long and shaggy or whatever. Mhmm. He cut it. He looked like a nimrod. Okay?

Like like, they broke up with them after it. So we all teased Lola about about the fact that that, you know, you broke up with someone because they had a bad haircut. But I think it's a thing because, yeah, the minute Nate cut his long Jesus hair off It was Jesus hair. There there's a, it's a phenomenon. If nothing else, it's right up there with forearm porn that we talked about.

Forearm porn. Like if they got it, they got it. They don't even know they got it until they till they're told about it. Right? Right.

And so And then you can't tell them about it because then they're gonna be, like, trying to be, like Yeah. It's like or the backwards hat or Oh, yeah. That's sweatpants with no shirt on, and they're just barely hanging on in them little hips. You know? Dude's got nice hips, but it's showing off the v, and they're barely hanging on there.

And you're kinda want them not to hang on anymore, and you're just like, maybe I'll catch it. You know? Just drop it. Just drop it. Yep.

Drop it. I mean, if you don't, I'll help you take them off anyway, so it doesn't matter. Right? So It doesn't it doesn't matter. But I think it is a phenomenon because even you, you were you kinda lost interest.

I think I did. I did. I think hair is And then his hair grew back within, like, a week and a half, and I was like, oh, there he is. There he is. He okay.

So I watched I watched his Snapchat, last weekend. Mhmm. He just went to a wedding. Oh, he had on a suit because he was in the wedding. He suit phenomenon is another see, we need to make a list at this point.

We do. Because there are We do. This the suit is another phenomenon. Sometimes the suit works. Sometimes you could see him in the suit, and all of a sudden you're like.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Brief pause.

Okay. Is Snapchat a So, Sakora, is Snapchat a red flag? I will get on a soapbox about this so y'all just grab a fucking drink and be prepared. Get ready. So I personally don't think Snapchat is a red flag, and here's why.

Because people are fucking crazy. Mhmm. Right? And there's a lot of spoofing apps now, especially for phone numbers. So, like, when I meet someone, especially on, like, a dating site or anything, it's like, do you want my Snap, or do you want, like, my socials?

Like, which one would you rather have? And they're you know, some are some even will be like, do you want my Snapchat? I'm like, fuck yeah. Do you know how much easier it is for me to block somebody on Snapchat Mhmm. Than it is handing you my phone number?

Because then you can blow me up from your friend's phone. Mhmm. You can blow me up from your work phone. You can blow you can get a spoofing app and just continue blowing my phone up to the point where I have to change my phone number, and I have had to do that, which is why I'm like, here's my Snapchat. Here you go.

Why? Because I can block you. Mhmm. And then you can't contact me again. But here's the thing.

I think that that's a newer thing. Oh, I'm just bouncing this way. I think that's a new I need to stop talking with my hands. That's the problem. I I think that that's a newer thing, and I agree with you.

It's a safety issue for females. Or Mhmm. Oh my god. I I keep I don't know. Bitches are fucking crazy too.

That's a safety issue for dudes. We've yeah. We've already had a whole episode about that one. Crazy. Yeah.

Bitches are fucking crazy. Woman. Alright. Mhmm. So I think that that now, but this is coming for me.

I I Amy has to walk me through anytime. I want to watch one of her Snapchats. Mhmm. I'll have to text you first and be like, so I just posted something completely unhinged. And I'm like we wanna go watch watch it right now.

And it took me about five button pushes and things and going to different things until I did it. I don't know why that app is so freaking like, it's it's like an anomaly to me. Like, I like, I I it's it's just like I may as well go into the labyrinth at this point and hope to get through that stuff. Butter. Like I know, but you use it all the time.

Care if I show this person on here, like because you can't read it anyways. But, yeah, one handed, Snapchat, iPad. Like Yeah. I don't get it. This is dweebs I just showed by.

Okay. Go. Dweebs. Yeah. That that guy doesn't matter anymore.

Dweebs moved. I told you that. Right? Yeah. Like, back to California or some shit?

Yeah. So he's been Snapchatting different places in California. I'm like, that looks amazing. He's like, it's a vibe, and I'm like, fuck. Yeah.

It is. I need to move. Fuck this place. Discord is the app that see, Discord for me reminds me of old school fan forums or old school things like that or Mhmm. Chat room type things.

So, yeah, I I kind of am am am okay with Discord. It's the one thing I know how to kind of Work. Work kind of. I mean, I can I can fiddle fart through it? Let's just say that.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't like Discord. It bothers me. I it's not a good app.

Like, it's not bad. But Also, if you stream on Twitch. Right? You stream stream on Twitch. I can talk.

I promise. And then you have, like, your Discord information. Do you know how many unsolicited pictures of peens I got? I was building fucking LEGOs on Twitch streaming because I couldn't go live on the clock app yet because I didn't have enough followers at that point. Right?

Yeah. So I would get on I would get on Twitch, do that, and then I would have message, message, message, message in Discord. I'm like, oh, yay. Yay. I'm building I'm building, you know, community, blah blah blah blah blah.

Dick pick. Dick pick. Dick pick. Do you know how many times we this is only, like, what, episode six of us? Yeah.

Do you know how many times dick picks have come up in our Probably every episode because it's a problem. It's like an epidemic. Like, have have have the guys not caught on yet? Like, is, is that like, is it not caught on? Because you'd think it would by now.

Because here's the thing With the stuff with, like, book talk and stuff like that, guys are catching on to things. You know? How many how many guys out there have learned you say a couple good girls and all of a sudden everything's right. Right? Oh, those good girls.

Why can't, like, like, it's, like, guys that just don't wanna learn. So anybody I I don't understand. The good ones are out there learning how to growl and how to say good girls and how to, you know, throat punch you with their cocks. Oh, not me looking at the screen like, we good? We good?

Oh, wait. Yeah. K. We're good. No?

We're good? Okay. Guys, just just so you're aware, if this goes down, we'll just hop over to hers. And, also, I have a backup one too, so it's fine. It's fine.

We got it covered. No. Do you know when a dude hits you with that good girl? Okay. Well, let me rephrase.

If a when a dude hits me with that good girl, I'm just like, yes, sir. Like, it's just an instant. I will sit down and shut the fuck up. But it has to be in the right tone, and it it it just has to be right because otherwise, like can't be forced. No.

It can't be forced. No. I think you read your first Good Girl when I Yeah. When I read that book with you. Right?

I think that was Yeah. So Amy's new to Good Girl, just so you guys know. Yeah. She's new to Good Girl. I'm I'm new to Good Girl.

And she got her first one, like, what was it? Like, two months ago? I think it was, like, two months ago. And it was unsolicited. Oof.

And there was a growl? Yeah. Amy had her Good Girl Terry popped. It was great. And now I'm like but but also, like Yes.

There's something If it's not right, if they don't do it right, it is the exact opposite. You're either gonna laugh hysterically, like, really, dude? Or you're gonna be like, like Amy said, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

But at the same time, like, he has to give off that fucking energy. Yeah. He has to have big That is just, yeah. Like, that just like you know, like, because you there. Everybody knows there's the guys that walk around going, I'm a man.

I'm a man as they smack their chest. And you're like, bitch, if you don't take several seats and shut the fuck up, I promise you I'm more man than you. What the fuck are you on? Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Like, they, like, when a dude can just exude that energy and nothing has to be stated ever, I promise you, I don't argue and I shut the fuck up every time. Just, uh-huh. Well, because we talked about this. Right?

I don't know if we've talked about it on the podcast or not, but there's something about, like, when when when you're doing your thing, right, and you're taking care of business, you're taking care of the house, you're taking care of your job, you're you're doing this like, you're adulting to the max, and you have a partner who's willing to just let you relinquish control, and they can just Mhmm. Do what Toss you around? Toss you around, do what you wanna do. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh. Because you because they're but like you said, they have the BDE happening. And so you know that they can take care of business there. Mhmm.

And they're not gonna pussyfoot around it because that's what they do. If it if they're timid, it's the same way when they're going down on you. If you're timid, just stop. Just stop. No.

Yeah. You can't you you you need to be at you need to wanna be there, and I need to feel that you want to be there, or you wanna be doing what it is you're doing. That or when they're like, do you enjoy this right now? Does this feel good to you? And I'm just like, shut the fuck up.

You'll know. Trust me. You will know. You will hands down, baby. You will know.

You will know if I'm like, sir. Yeah. Just hit him real quick. Wanna not to care if I'm enjoying myself. Because the minute that they don't care where they are, it means that they're just too involved, and they're just Yeah.

Getting theirs. I'm like going ham. And I'm like, I did that to them. I did that to them. They're they've gone total feral because of me.

Yeah. Get it. Right? Mhmm. Mhmm.

Right. Like, the feral the feralness is superior. I love when they actually go feral. Right? Like I said, if you're not if you're not doing it, like, you're eating a fucking feast, then stop doing it because otherwise it's just weird.

Mhmm. It's just weird and awkward because then you're just laying there and you're just like, do you even wanna be there? Because at this point, you're not really doing anything for me. It's fine. So then Yeah.

Honestly, I'll start thinking about the shit I have to do. I'm like, fuck. I gotta go to the grocery store. Right? And then I gotta clean this part.

Oh, fuck. Did I did I send that at work yesterday? Shit. It's like neither of you are mentally engaged at that point. No.

It's just like I'd rather you just bend me over and get it over with than sit here pretending, like, this is what you wanna be doing. Stop it. Right. No. Right.

Also, I saw a video on the clock app. Right? Mhmm. Where a guy said with his whole chest on there, he was like, ladies, listen. This is for you.

And, you know, me, I'm like, alright. What we what we talking about? You're talking about Luke. What we got? What you got?

What we got? Mhmm. And he was like, if a man does not start you in missionary position and he bends you over first, he's not that into you. The fuck he's not. I was like, sir, do you think maybe I don't wanna look at this bitch ass's face right now?

Why are we making this about you? Maybe I don't wanna look at this right now. Maybe that's where I wanted him to start. And a girl commented. She goes, but what what happens if missionary sucks, So we'd rather you go doggy.

And I'm like Oh, but we don't have any minds of our owns or preferences or desires or anything. Like, you know? I mean, like, I'm all for, you know, to just you just take it kind of energy. But, who says just this dude? We're just taking it off of this dude's preferences?

Okay. I don't know. But the the ladies in the comments I hope they ripped them a new one. Cam. Yeah.

They did, and I was here for it. I was like, yes. Yes. Yes. Mhmm.

Agree. Because I'm like so again, I'm just gonna best experiences was no talking, assume the position, and Mhmm. Gone. Like Mhmm. Lost that.

Yeah. Because it was a quickie. Right? It was so fucking hot. Yeah.

Of course it was. It was Quickies are essential. They are. Quickies are definitely essential. Right?

Need to like, sometimes I just need this the itch scratched. Right? I don't need three hours of God. No. Not the fucking marathon shit.

Amy, you've got bad taste in your mouth about the marathon shit. Well, like, let's be honest about this shit. Alright? So my ex used to like to fucking run a goddamn fucking marathon, and I'm like, bro. Don't break your toys.

Not even Don't break your toys, boys. Don't break your toys. Right. Don't break your toys, and it's not that fucking serious. Mm-mm.

Because after a while, I'm bored. Yeah. I don't wanna do this anymore. Like, there's a difference between rounds and marathoning to me. Okay.

Explain that. Because I agree with you, but I don't know if they're right. Mhmm. Right. So chat, rounds, marathon.

Put your preference if you want if you're into sharing if you're into sharing. If not, it's cool. It's cool. I'll be an overshare anyways. So rounds is where you you go.

Right? It might be a quickie. It might be thirty minutes to an hour. We don't know the recipe. And then you have a break.

You you you go pee. You get a snack. You have some water. You watch a show even. You yeah.

You watch it. You turn on Netflix, and then you're like, shit. Now it's time to chill again. Let's go round two. Mhmm.

Right? Where marathon is just fucking hours, and it doesn't end. It doesn't fucking end to the point where you're like, everything hurts, and I'm I'm, you know, yeeting at this point because I know that word's unalived. There we go. Yeah.

Yeah. No merit. Like, dudes, if you're in here, don't break your toys. Marathoning normally breaks your toy, and if it doesn't, I'm gonna start questioning if it's like a fucking hot dog down a hallway at that point. Yeah.

Yeah. No, like, who are you proving yourself? Or are you trying to prove something to me? Because I've already gotten off multiple times. So what are we doing?

Because I have laundry to do. And Right. That's what I have shit to do today, sir. The fuck is this? I kinda like to get back to my smut book or my audio book.

Like like, can we do this, please? Also Mhmm. You do anything long enough, it gets tender. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is why we say don't break your toys, boys. Mhmm. You You gotta sit in the bathtub. You you got you you gotta treat those toys nice Mhmm.

If you ever wanna come back and have reentry. If you ever wanna ride this ride again, I'll break it. Like, are you trying to, like, break it? Yeah. I don't, like, I don't, I don't understand because or have you ever done it and then so long that, you know, like when your legs are spread out and those like hip flexors are like stretched out for that long, right?

Mhmm. And then you go and you try and put them back and it's almost like, you know, like, if, like, your leg falls asleep and then you it start it comes back and it starts tingling and stuff like that and it hurts. Mhmm. Yeah. And then, like, your hip flexors, like, all of a sudden that you're just, like, it it it, like, feels like it's pulled.

Yeah. And then you're trying to put your legs back together, and you're just like, ah. Yeah. And then there's also the walking like a fucking baby deer and shit where you're like, I'm not gonna lie. Not gonna lie.

I've stood up and been like, I'm gonna be here. Yeah, Muse. Right? Like, ouchies are fine. You wanna give me a little smacky smack on the booty booty?

Yeah. Totally fine. Mhmm. You know? A little, like, like, asus, like, the a little a little squeeze, fine.

A little bite, scratch Mhmm. All those things. Those you know? Mhmm. With consent.

You know? The all those things are great. Right? But Yeah. Like, don't be a marker.

Don't don't mark somebody just because you're trying to mark, like, territory because you're being a fucking hater. Like, don't don't do that shit. Don't do that shit. It's different. If it's, like, your person, mark them up.

I don't care. I don't care. Like, if it Okay. Yeah. If I was in a relationship, yeah, I don't I don't give a shit.

You know what I'm saying? Well, I do to an extent, like, don't which I learned today, thanks to Alina, what a candy necklace is. Apparently, there's multiple versions because when she mentioned it, I legitimately thought, like, you know, like, candy necklace would be you know? Is that just love bites all the way around your neck? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I learned what that is.

Didn't know what that was. Learned today. But, you know, like, don't don't do that unless that's, like, your person or that's, like, something they're, like, super into. Yeah. I don't mind a few marks later because then I see them and I'm like Right.

But you're you're in a relationship. Yeah. I know. Right? But I was just Where there's me.

Where the last time I had a fucking mark, I my sister talked me into a top, which is actually, on this page. It's the red top that Yeah. The sexy top. And then it's all open down the center. So, like, the ta tas are ta tah ing.

Right? I looked down, and I was like, thank fucking god this shit is basically gone at this point because it was, like, super faint, just right on the fucking Tata. And I was like, I'm going to off him. And when I told him, he thought it was fucking hilarious. And I'm like, oh, this is funny to you.

He's like, hell, yeah. It is. And I'm like, you're an ass. You're an ass. Why?

Which same individual popped up at my house unannounced, uninvited. Have you shared that story yet? Yeah. I did, a couple times, but I don't think, like, Emily like, certain people are in here right now. So, guys, I had somebody yeah.

pop up at my house at, like,: 10:45

And I'm like, who the fuck is at my door? And, thankfully, I have a Ring camera, so I don't have to actually get up and go look through my people. Mhmm. Which come to find out, he was like, yeah. I looked through your people and could tell the light was on.

Creep. Why are you just goddamn close to my fucking door? First of all, second of all, did you not read my doormat? Did you call first? Like, right, Muse?

In this economy? Sir. So he I opened my door, and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? I missed you. I'm like, you need to hold on a second.

Slam the door in his face. Just end my live just because I'm like, I can't with this shit. End my fucking live. Go put my dog up because I'm like, I don't have time for this. Open my door, and I go, okay.

So, again, what the fuck are you doing here? I missed you. And people in hell on ice water, what does that have to do with me? I'm going furthermore, furthermore, furthermore, furthermore. This is where it gets interesting, and I'll do a demonstration.

Let me set this mic down because I'll just talk loud enough to where it still be recorded. Let me fix this. Left hand. I said, okay. This is what I'm a need you to do.

I'm a need you to go ahead, look down at your hand right now in that ring finger, and then let me know why you're here. He goes, bloop pocket. Is this better for you? Bitch, no. It's not fucking better for me.

What is your married ass doing at my fucking house? You just got married. Why are you here? Oh, I told you I miss you. And then he goes, well, you did tell me you'd always be my friend.

Bitch, get the fuck what? I was hot. And I I know when you called me, I was like, the fuck you did he do? What? Exqueeze me what?

Yeah. And at this point, I'm like, you you need to get everything out because don't ever do that shit again. Do not do not pop up at my house the fuck again unannounced. And he was like, well, I sat outside in your parking lot a couple days ago, and I thought about coming up and knocking, but I didn't. It's about time you called the po po.

Right. Right. So not only did you just do it now, you thought about doing it two days prior? You're staking up my ass. Right.

Like, what the fuck, dude? Right. So he's just like, I mean, I really missed you and I wanted to see you. And then he has the audacity the audacity to go, can I get your address? And I'm like, the fuck you need it for?

You know exactly where I live. You just randomly showed up at my house. And he's like, because I wanna send you gifts. Send your wife gifts. Send that bitch gifts.

Not me. But That's a that's a level of compartmentalizing that's beyond the norm that has gone into cuckoo coo for Coco Puffs level Yeah. Of Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that he couldn't understand why you might be a bit upset about that.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, what what the fuck are you gonna do if I had a guy here? Mhmm. He goes high five you?

just showed up at my house at: 10:45

Right. Like, what the fuck are you here for? Mm-mm. And he just I really missed you. I really miss again, I don't I don't care.

Yeah. That is a personal problem. That is not a me problem. That is a you problem. I know I'm cool.

I know I'm awesome. I know I'm a vibe. These are all things I fucking know. We don't have to reiterate them to me. I've worked very hard to get here, so I own this shit now.

Right? Like, I I the audacity. Yeah. He was ready for all the possibilities, and the main one was gonna be me putting my foot up his fucking ass. That that was gonna be the main goddamn one.

I wanna ask, like, the odd let's do an audience question here because Mhmm. How many of us have those repeat offenders? Like like, I don't know about you, but there's just I don't know what it is, but they just can't get over the fact that you don't want them anymore. And there's con like, it's like it is, like, bug that will randomly just kind of glom back on at random ass times or say out of pocket shit, you know, like Mhmm. Who you broke up with, like, over ten years ago, and they're like, oh, I still think about you.

And you're like, Mhmm. I don't. You know? Yeah. Like, I thought you existed kind of a thing.

Right? And I don't understand. Mhmm. Like, I think that happens to a lot of us. And I Yeah.

Like Muse just said, I don't have any ex who didn't try to come back at least once. Me either. I didn't wanna say it out loud. You know? Like You never even dated just the same dude in your DMs for, like, ten years.

Oh, he was dedicated to that cause. Wait. Emily, you had someone in your DMs for, like, ten years? Yeah. They always go back.

Back. Even when you don't want they're like fucking roaches, man. I know. Like, I still have a dude that I dated twelve years ago. Mhmm.

Because, like, it was kinda one of those things where we tried, and then we're like, we're better friends. Yeah. You know? Like, we're just we're just better friends, where he's like, if you you know, if you're taking applications for a friend with Benny's, I'm in. Sir.

And he's like, I never had any complaints. Sir, I did. That's the important part there. I fucking did. Emily.

Yeah. That's kinda creepy. That's almost like someone just stalking you. Yeah. Maybe, like okay.

Maybe they're just shy, but shy for ten years, that's a lot. That Yeah. That's just someone who Oh, let's provide context for people that are gonna end up listening to this and not Oh, yeah. Seeing the live. Yeah.

They would just comment on my, IG post. They never quit. Lmao dude. Yeah. Emily, that's crazy.

That is crazy. Yeah. Like, just the sheer audacity. Like, I know girls do it too, so I'm not gonna sit here and just knock that it's only dudes because I know some crazy ass bitches. Oh, the ones that just just are hangers on that just won't Yeah.

Or the ones that sit and wait on the sidelines, and they're like, I don't care if I play, like, a fake ass side chick role. For, like, ten years, you're gonna be mine. And they wait in the wings until, like, their relationship that they're in It's it's is done in the wings. Game ever. Yeah.

They're they're dedicated. That it was almost a decade that Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah. It's like I'm sorry.

Like, it's like they get to be there for all the important stuff, and they get to feed little bits of, like, dissension along the way or a little underlining to where then you feel like you need them, you know, or they're they're best friend. And they're just sitting there going like, I'll play the best friend role the whole time, and then I'll snatch it up the minute that that other person just fucks up one time. And it's just like, really? No. Yeah.

No. Yeah. Like, I know somebody that is still currently in a relationship, with that person that they did that with. But I obviously didn't know about any of it. This was also, like, from somebody else that told me because she was around it the entire time while it was occurring, and she watched.

She was like, yeah. This girl, she was I'm not gonna use her name. But she was like, she knew he was in a relationship the entire time, but she stood next to him playing the part. And then as soon as they broke up, she slid right in, and now they, like, live together and shit. And I'm just like, that's fucking crazy.

Super tactic. Museroth, the sleeper tactic, though I did friend zone my partner for eleven years. See? I guess sometimes it works. I mean, if it works Yeah.

Works one time out of 10. I mean, I guess that's why it's a that's why it's a move, I guess. Mhmm. I mean, it's definitely It's it's a commitment for sure. Hell, yeah.

Hell, yeah. I I can't I can't. Oh, this was something I asked in my live last night, was, do friends with Benny's work? Do do friends with Benny's work? You're just heading for the friend zone?

Shit. They work for a while, but then they need to evolve. That's what I think. I think that they're like an evolution where you're not quite ready to just be dating, but you're not quite ready to just be here. Mhmm.

It's kind of more of the I think at some point, it has to evolve, though. I do I think that that could go on for ages and ages? It would take a lot. Yeah. And neither of you would really like, your lives would kinda have to stay the same.

And that's the issue. Everybody's lives are changing, and they're going on different paths, and they're doing these different things. Right? So Yeah. And it's okay for you to change your mind and be like, this is what I wanted at the beginning, but now I want something different.

And so I'm gonna ask for something different. And if you don't wanna give that to me, then I'm gonna move on, wish you the best of luck, but I can't deny myself moving forward. Or, you know, like, maybe at the time you didn't have the capacity for a full on emotional relationship or something like that. But then you're like, you know what? I've done my job.

I've done my healing. I've done my, this, my that. You know? Now I want that. You're pretty cool.

We're friends. We're compatible. Yeah. Is that something you're interested in? If not, that's cool.

Mhmm. Cheers. But I'm gonna go find that for myself because I deserve it for myself. You know? Yeah.

And I think that that's where people get hung up because they don't like the messy. They don't like the breakup. Mhmm. And they don't like to have to use their words and have the hard conversations and Mhmm. Be okay with not having a safety net because I think sometimes people rely on those.

Yeah. Like, that's my personal thing. But what do you guys think? Yeah. I think they can work for a little bit, but there's always, like, an expiration date with it, like, what you said.

Also, I think there needs to be, like, terms and conditions. Yeah. I think both people would be able to walk away without it. Yeah. Mhmm.

Mhmm. It's an all A conversation definitely needs to be had, like, you know, this and this, and there's health issue like, health reasons to, you know, I said, like, health issues, like, yeah, cause health issues if both of you or one of you is new and, you know, extra. So, like, you gotta be smart about it. Have a conversation. And I think a lot of people lack the communication aspect like you were saying.

Like Not to get weird with it, but this is what we do. And I'm just gonna use this because this is work. It's very similar to, Dom subcontracts. Okay. So in that world, a lot of times you're linked up by preferences.

Right? And you have hard stops, maybes, and then absolutely nos. Right? And the Dom's job is to kinda push you to do these things, but they stay within those parameters. If at any time the words are said, then instant.

Like, it's instant. No no no no harm, no foul, no anger, no nothing. If you get pushed beyond a certain thing, then it's just like, no. And they're like, awesome. Okay.

How did that work for you? How did it not? Is this something that we can move beyond? Or are we done done, like, not just end of scene, but we're end of relationship. Right?

And it's all about open, honest communication because Mhmm. It is about you both finding pleasure. Right? And if one of you is not feeling that pleasure, what are you what the fuck are you doing? Right?

And so it's very similar. And I think if people treated Friends with Benny's in a little bit more of a, no. This is an arrangement because that's what it is. I'm sorry. We wanna we wanna pretend like it's, you know, all this other stuff.

But it's technically, it's an arrangement out of respect. Like, if we're gonna do this, you know, if I call or if you call, what amount of time are we giving each you know, like, it needs to be mutually beneficial. And I know that that seems extreme, but it's actually responsible because you also have to discuss, you know, like, our you know you know, how do you feel about birth control or not birthing? You know, like, how do you feel about these different things? You know?

And it's all just laid out ahead of time, and it's agreed upon ahead of time. So I agree with you. A conversation needs to be had. I think that a deeper conversation should actually be had, but I've never had a friends with Benny. Well, I'm waiting.

No. I haven't. I've never had a It's like, let me think about this. Hold on. But, you know, like, I've never I haven't dated in that way Mhmm.

In in a hot minute, so I don't wanna talk on it. But you read about these things. There's a reason why, it's big, especially in, like, the kink communities and things like that because Yeah. It's all about respect. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. All of it. And I think that that's a little bit lacking in some of these. They you know, it's immature people who are just like, oh, yeah.

I'll Netflix and chill. Oh, you wanna do this again sometime? Okay. No. And it's kind of still high feeling sometimes.

Yeah. Like, I think you both have to have really good communication skills in order to even do something like that. Mhmm. Because if one of you can communicate and the other one can't, it's it's just kind of, like, I think, donezo. Yes.

The the sub is always the one in power, but the control is handed to the dom, and the dom has to care and take control and provide the safety and the aftercare and all that other stuff. Right? So but the minute this the sub says boo Mhmm. That's it. They have Have you ever had used I have.

No. Mm-mm. I have. Uh-uh. But I like to get pushed past what I think I can handle.

Hell, no. They've already was. Not, like, pineapple's bit No. But there's something about that too because then it can be like because then you can go into full on subspace, but then you have the crash down. But it's an emotional breakthrough.

It's almost like doing, like, you know, mushies or something like that. You almost have, like, this ego death feeling at the end of it and let's grow over a lot of your trauma. It's like I'm somatic response almost. Like, it's a whole thing. A lot of people do the do the red, green, yellow so that if they're especially when you're first beginning and stuff like that, because then you can be like, no.

Keep going or slow down just for a second or red is full stop. You know? So a lot of people will use the the light, you know, the streetlight method until they get into it more, and it's pretty well known. Yeah. Yellow.

Yellow. Slow down. Slow down. Me is also pro I think all relationships should have aftercare contracts. Let's start with that.

If does the dude bring you a nice warm towel at the end or or anything or start a bath for you? Like Mhmm. Get you a cookie, something to drink, rub your back. I don't know. Mhmm.

Yeah. I, think that's also a must because it, like, it also shows, like, respect in a sense. Like, oh, I respect you enough to make sure you're okay and, like, you're good and Well all of that is a Yeah. And the person who took control or, like, you know, the dom normally or whatever Mhmm. The good ones understand that what a gift it is for someone to completely surrender their free you know, their their, you know, autonomy to to them.

Right? And so, again, they don't wanna break their toys. So, you know, it's hard to find someone who enjoys primal play, you know? So they're gonna, they're gonna, you know, gotcha girl. I will make you a Sammy and draw you a bath.

You're welcome. Please let me do that again. Please. Whatever you need, I got you, babe. Whatever whatever you need.

Do you need a four course meal right now? Is that what you need? Foot foot massage? Mhmm. Back rub, bubble bath?

All all of the above? Done and done. Okay. I do have a question, though, because this is coming in a couple of med bucks. Don't I know.

I'm trying to figure out how to best word it. Okay. I didn't even think about this till later, but I'm a small person. Alright? So I don't know if it's just Yeah.

If it's just, because I'm short or of stature. Yeah. You're in print size. Okay. Mhmm.

But I've written, like, the, like, the last three books where, okay. Yes. We're, we're at kind of missionary style style. Okay. And the guy like Got me over here, like, picturing it.

Okay. The guy like grabs like, the pillow off the bed and shoves it under her ass and it like lifts them up and supposedly it hits like this whole new angle. And I'm just like, is that the same thing as when a guy just goes like this on my booty and lifts me up that way? Like, is it just like so that they can now have their hands free and touch all the fun bits, but it's already raised up so then they don't have to hold it up? I kinda wanna try it.

I I think they have those, like I think they have those sex wedges, don't they? Those Oh, yeah. There's a whole Chris Brown has it on his concert stage. There's a whole fucking couch. Whole ass couch.

Like, Chris Brown brings booty. Right? The angle thing. But Yeah. The special pillow is made for it.

Couch couch is like a hump here, and then it dips down. Hands are better when pillows work. Okay. I I that's what I was like, because normally, I just get the booty lifted and, you know, and that sort of thing. And I didn't know if that's just because I'm short, and it can just go from, you know, like this.

But I think I also like the whole idea of up, but then they get a roam with the hands. Yeah. And I agree with me as different how well people group. Yeah. Like Oh, good news.

Let me get the twig out of here. That was a good run through the woods. Were you scared? Mhmm. Yeah?

Awesome. Yeah. Yes. Oh. But, yeah, I kinda wanna try that out.

I wanna see about that. I might be mentioning. I mean, you should. Mhmm. I'm gonna be honest.

Sometimes, like, previously, when Amy did dumb shit well, not really. It was with my boyfriend. Sometimes I would be, like, getting a cramp in my ass. Mhmm. Yeah.

That can happen. So sometimes the pillow would automatically just go just because of the cramp that was forming in my ass. But I'm like, ow, ow, ow, and then all of a sudden, it'd be a lift up, shove with a pillow. And then and I'm like, oh, this is great now. Thank you.

Thank you, sir. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so glad you're strong enough to just My butt cheek was on fire, sir. So thank you very much.

Right. It's like to the point where I'm like, I can't even enjoy this because I'm just like, please stop. Please stop. Because all I'm thinking about is the cramp in my fucking ass cheek that's occurring. Well, and I told you, like, the the pain from this.

Have you ever had so your legs are, like, in a v shape, but the outside where it's stressed like this, where it balls up and it gets like a, like a Mhmm. So the outside of the thigh, have you ever had that cramp up and you're just like, and you can't like, you almost have to stretch your leg out straight so they have to get out from in between, and you gotta be like, hold on, and you gotta stretch out your whole side of your thigh. Ugh. That's the worst. I mean, I sit cross legged Mhmm.

95% of the time. Like, I'm a be honest. I haven't been sitting cross legged this entire time. So I stay in that semi position. So not literally, but, you know, like so that one doesn't happen as much as, like The butt cheek one.

The ass cheek cramp. The ass cheek. Fucking killing me. But I also guess that's what happens when you have an ass. So I got one too.

Not. I don't know the recipe. I I got one too. But, yeah, it's just yeah. I didn't know if it was like, I'm I assumed after I read it, I was like, I wonder if that's like those wedge pillows, but again, I don't haven't I haven't done any research on the wedge pillows either.

And why would you need one if you could just use a a regular pillow from your bed? Because the regular pillows from your bed can get flattened. Oh. And then the wedge pillow typically holds its shape. So then it's it's a little bit less, just after time.

Mhmm. Like, it'll hold the shape longer. Mhmm. I mean, I don't know. I don't have one, so I can't really help.

But to me, my brain says, well, normal pillows After even you're used you know, when you lay your fucking fat head on them after a while, they start thinking you need a orthopedic pill. I think I've tried one of those, and it was just, a but I sleep like a deceased person. It's creepy. She sleeps like Dracula. Damn.

Well, who is gonna call me all the way out? I do, though. He leaves this realm, and she just sleeps like the dead. Yeah. I do.

Like so, again, if we're going for Yeah. I can see that getting in the way too because you also got the pillowcase over it. And if you start, you know, any kind of accordion action, then it's gonna Mhmm. Get wedged into crest creases. Yeah.

Yeah. No. I do I sleep just straight back out. The only thing I don't do is the cross my arms over my chest, which would be down at your side. They are down at my side.

I didn't know I slept like that until my ex because he was like, do you know how you sleep? And I'm like, comfortably? Like, what does that mean? He's like, you don't move. And I'm like, opposed to you who rolls around the entire fucking night and is irritating.

What is that supposed what? Like, he goes, no. You sleep. Your arms are directly, like, on your side. Your hands are usually under you.

So, like, my hands will be, like, under my leg. Kind of like it's, like, holding my leg. Like, it's, like, cupped holding it. But but it's a sign of cupped because, like, you know, like, when you're, like, just sitting norm like, let's say you're just sitting in class or at the doctor's appointment or something like that. I don't know about you, but I'll put my my hands, like, between my legs or, like, under my thighs sometimes.

And I don't I don't know if that's just like a so I don't fidget thing or if it is a way to hold like, it feels like you're holding yourself. I don't know what it is. But when I drive, if you if you ride in the car with me and I'm driving I think it's only when I'm driving. I don't think I do it if I'm, like, a passenger princess, which that doesn't happen often. I tuck my fingers under either the seat, like, the lap seat belt strap part of it.

Or, like, if I'm in shorts, my fingers will end up tucking in under my shorts. I'm fucking weird sometimes. I don't know. But I weird tucking feeling. Like, I need to, like like, do this.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a safety. Like, oh, now I'm secure. Maeve says don't waste your time on the blow up wedge pillows.

Okay. Good to know. See, this is where we That on is where we get all the good info. Right? Don't Mhmm.

Don't waste your money, everybody. Don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. It kinda just reminded me of blow up furniture.

Yeah. Those were never remember we're in, like, the nineties or the early two thousands when everybody was doing the plastic blow up furniture. I'm like, wait. That's gonna pop in two minutes, and it's not comfortable at all. No.

But And it would you tell me all over. And, like, a a couch, a chair, the ottoman. Right? I found all of it. I literally owned all of the fucking blow up furniture equipment.

Similar to well, they've gotten better, but it's very similar to old beanbags that we used to have growing up. Mhmm. Like, they just look like flattened out pancakes by the end of it. It's like Yeah. You know?

Yeah. I still so, like, do you see the big plushy, plump, like, four foot round beanbag or whatever you need? Yeah. I want one. I want one so badly, but I'm like, where am I gonna put it?

I get in and I'd be like, I can't get out. I can't get Mhmm. I'd be like, you don't you don't need a air mattress in my house anymore. You're sleeping on this. I'm like a turtle stuck on its back in one of those things.

Michelle goes, I was made to sit on my hands while grounded. Kept me from biting my nails. Oh, yeah. That's what I was wondering. Like, I wonder if I do it so I don't fidget.

I wonder Mhmm. Cats making plans. Yeah. I'm a little animal. As it comes to the door.

Yeah. I we had cats. Like, there's no way. There's no way. Mhmm.

Yeah. I think no. We had dogs at that point when I had And it's blow pressure. Like, one one teenage boy jumping on it, and it just, like, popped. Right?

Yeah. It was not thought through. It's very similar to wasn't. To, you know, the people who who okay. This came up too, and it it really made me question my life.

It was a total segue, but this is what we do on this show, so just just go with it. Who thought up those you know, like, when you go into, like, an office or Mhmm. Or some sort of government building or something like that, and they have the water jug there where you can go and you can get water, and the cups are in the shape of a cone? Oh, yeah. What nimnoid decided to make that?

Because you have to hold it this whole time. The whole point of getting a cup of water so that you can drink it and put it down and set it next to you and drink it as you need. Why make those? I don't understand. Cone cups.

Yes. Like, what what possessed them to think that this was a good idea? I don't understand. I mean, it's giving mail. Single serving but, you know, you can't even, like, you can't even like, you're where do you put it?

How do you put hold it? Like I don't know, but I'm about to ask Google who invented The cone cups. Co well, they're paper cups. Cone Yeah. Paper.

And they are like paper. Like, it's like Yeah. Because if they if you don't drink the water fast enough and you just hold it there for a minute Yeah. Michelle's like, I think it's a nice way for them to say don't stay long. It is.

Can I get a picture? Is the name ambiguous? No. I was just trying to be nicer. It was a dude.

Mhmm. Lawrence Llewellyn, a Boston lawyer, you fucking idiot, invented the disposable cone shaped paper cup in nineteen o eight. Okay. So because it was invented in nineteen o eight, I'll I'll give some slack. I will give some slack for it being invented in nineteen o eight.

However, you're still an idiot, and we're gonna throw hands. So we'll do it just like for someone who invented the five day work week. Where? I don't get it. Like I don't either.

Like, even if you feel it like, let's say you're trying to eat a stammie and you got your cut you gotta hold them both. You can't put your water down. That's a big ass sandwich if you gotta double fist it. If you have the sandwich in this hand and then the cup in this hand. True.

You can't ever put your cup down and eat your sandwich. Like, it's Maybe I'm weird. I just cut normally. Well, I cut my sandwich in, like, half and then half of it. So it's it's handheld.

Wait. You said half and half again. Oh, so you make it in squares? Yeah. Like, four.

So, like, it's a half like Do you do triangles or do you do squares? I'm not that fancy. So squares. It's just it's just squares. Although although I did make French toast yesterday.

No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Yes. I made French toast yesterday or two days ago. Fuck. I don't remember. Either way, I made fucking French toast.

And then I felt fancy and was like, where are you gonna make those triangles? And then I stacked it, and I was like, I should've just left it alone because now I feel like I need, like, strawberry, like, compost or some shit with some of the compost, strawberry compost? Yeah. I don't know the technical term. Don't judge me.

I can't even eat poat. Thank you. Mhmm. You're welcome. I can't I'm not even supposed to fucking eat strawberries because I'm allergic to them anyways.

So cut me some goddamn slack that I didn't fucking say it right. Such a rebel. Such a rebel. You know? But I'm like, it needs it needs some pizzazz, you know, like Salt Bae.

Like, it it need it needed some pizzazz. And there was no pizzazz, and then I got sad. It was still delicious, though. I'm not gonna say it wasn't, but there was it was just it was lacking finesse. Mhmm.

Yeah. Oh, see? Yes. Well, I'm sorry because strawberries are delicious, and it does make me sad. But finally, somebody else who's like, I'm allergic to strawberries because people normally look at me like I'm fucking nuts.

People eat strawberry jam, can't you? Yeah. Because it's been the best. So it's been since it's been preserved. Okay.

See, I can touch them because, like, okay. Don't put a chocolate covered strawberry in front of me. I will risk life. I don't care. Oh, especially those Dubai chocolate covered strawberries where they put it in the cup, and it has the chocolate and the pistachio and then whatever the crunchy stuff is.

Oh my god. Do you know how much Benadryl I have taken? Because I'm like, I will eat this. I've I've gotten on the phone with with Amy. She's like, yeah.

I had some, I don't remember what you I think it was something with strawberries, but then you also had some pineapple, but there was another thing in there that you know you weren't supposed to have, and I can't remember what it was. And and she's like, so that was it was delicious. I gotta go get my Benadryl. I'm like, girl. Yeah.

My tongue's already starting to swell up. I'm like, girl, get your Benadryl now. I don't know what that chocolate is or why it looks like grass, but I'm not gonna lie. It is the most fucking delicious chocolate looking grass I've ever had in my goddamn life, especially okay. So hear me out.

If you buy a bar of the Dubai chocolate, like Is it I get the grocery store? No. I have to go to World Fresh Market, so it's like the international market that has it. Okay. So I have to go there to buy it.

But if you get the bar, make brownies. Break the bar up into individual squares. Shove said bar into brownie batter. Cover with brownie batter. Bake per the instructions.

Enjoy the fuck out of that when it's done. It is so good. It is so good. You said boo boo boo. Yeah.

I so so is it just like a is that just a pistachio and chocolate bar? Is that what it Yeah. But there's some there's some crunchy crunchiness to it. I have I have Dubai chocolate on my counter. I'm not gonna lie to you guys.

I I have tried it. I didn't know that it was a whole thing. It's yeah. It's it is it's expensive. So, like, when I buy the cup of strawberries covered in the chocolate and shit, that's $10.

The bar of chocolate is also $10. Do I spend $20 in one setting for two desserts? Yes. Don't judge me. Did I go to Shake Shack a week ago once I saw that they had a Dubai chocolate shake?

I'm not proud to admit this, but, yes, yes, I did. Is your sound going weird on you? No. Is mine weird on you? Mhmm.

May oh, it might be because I'm fucking with the cords because I'm moving. Right, Adriana? I'm like, $10 for a candy bar? Yeah. How big is it?

Okay. Give me two seconds. I'll get up and grab it. Yeah. I don't know why it's like it's doing a wop wop wop wop wop.

It's it's because I'm moving the cords. Oh. Because I keep moving around. Oh. So you can hear the cords moving.

I'll take my phone with me so you guys can at least still hear me on this even though so hold, please. Slide down. Do what you do what you're able to do. Thank you. Courts.

If I fall over and lose my life, it's not. Most brands, most of the bars, the pistachio paste stuff too. This is the $10 bar of chocolate. You're like, oh, that looks like a pretty decent size. No.

When you peel it off, this is technically how big it is. But, like, it's it's I don't wanna eat it, so I'm not gonna say it all the package. But, yeah, like, there's green with the sack, yo, and all the shit. I probably am. Holy shit.

My mom's in here. Hi, mom. Susan. Everybody say hi to my mother. She's about to learn some things.

God bless you. She doesn't wanna learn, But it's okay because she's, listening to the podcast a little bit anyway, and she was like, this is my daughter, essentially. But we were talking about wrestling, and then I think she kinda was like, and I'm out. I'm kinda glad that I'm kinda glad that Susan didn't pop in early earlier when he comes back on so I can actually hear what you're saying because I didn't turn the volume up. Yeah.

I, I'm kind of, like, glad that Susan didn't show up earlier. Oh, she says she's going to bed soon. Anyways, yeah. She'd be like, child, I didn't need to know any of this. Come on.

I'm gonna totally get your mom stuck on BookTok. I'm totally gonna do it. Susan's not a reader. She's Okay. Well, what about audio Audible?

What about audiobooks? Then she can have someone talking in her ear like this. That'd be great. She she I'm pretty sure she would turn bright red. And then also on top of that on top of that I Oh, you heard some last night, Susie.

I I can't believe, though, because between you and your sister, I would think your mom wouldn't know how to blush anymore. I think that, like, there would there really be anything else to turn you know, to be embarrassed by? I mean, mother, what you got on that one? And, yes, we're recording our podcast right now. But, yeah, like, you would think because she already knows both her children are unhinged.

We're gonna say and do unhinged things one more than the other. I'm gonna pass that one to my sister. Yeah. I've only talked to your sister a few times, and all the times, I'm just like slowly, like, wow. It's a lot.

Oh, yeah. Would you bless both of you? Talking about things. She doesn't. She doesn't.

Because then me and my sister just keep going and going and going and going, and she's just like, I will shred her bolt of fish. Perfect. Has she ever used the term or the the saying, I brought you into this world. I can take you out of it? Oh, fuck.

Yeah. She also used to tell me, I'll beat you about the head and chest area, and then also I'm the literal child, out of her too that would go and look at like, we'd be in the grocery store. Right? I'm a kid. And, you know, I'd be like, I can't get that, and she'd be like, no.

I was like or I'd be, like, saying something like, I can't do that or something like that, and she would be like, no. And I'd be like, or you're gonna beat me about the head and chest area in front of strangers. This was before CPS was a huge thing. I also believe I told people that she stuck my little sister in a microwave at the end of the day when I was little. Mind you, I didn't have a sister at this point.

Right? Okay. So my my little sister and I are sixteen years apart. She's 22 now. You guys can do the math on my age.

So oh, Alexa is very literal. Yeah. So she would be like, if you don't listen, I'll put you in the microwave just like I did your sister or some crazy ass fucking shit. And so and, yes, I do cuss in front of my mother and that she doesn't like it, but then I'm like, you live states way. Anyways I'm an adult, ma.

But mind you, I still call her. So you're the adult here, adult here. How do you do this? Right. And she's like How long do you boil an egg for?

I've asked her that. I know. Right? What's my social? Grandma.

I I know my social. I do know my social, but I even asked my girl, how long can you boil eggs for? And then she seriously? Can I put this shirt in this laundry, or can I not can I not wash this? Can I wash this thing?

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, I'll I'll just yeah. It's we give my mother a hard time night.

Like so she's gonna come to town Oh, she is. In October for, Chiefs game. I think it's the Chiefs and Raiders game. Oh. Yeah.

So we're all gonna go to the football game, and Susan we're gonna get we're gonna get Susan lit. I just don't think she's aware of that yet. Yeah. Your mom, you're gonna get lit, just so you're aware, especially if myself, Alexa, or Beth have anything to do with it. All of so all of my family Mhmm.

They they used to be Raider Nation. Ugh. I'm sorry for their loss. That's terrible life choices right there. Terrible.

Flint's a water. See? Michelle's helping us out here. See? We're gonna Thank you.

Gonna forget. Next time, we have to boil eggs, and we're gonna be like I'm gonna I'm gonna Google it probably or call my mom. So what happened? Oh, that's what I had to call her for recently. So I didn't feel good.

Right? So I was sick. Oh, is this that? I was like, I'm not sick, but I'm sick. Medicine story.

Yeah. So I call my mom, and I'm like, mom. She's like, yeah. Can I take Mucinex and NyQuil at the same time? Amy, what kind of Mucinex is it?

I don't know. Send send picture. Box. I'm scared, ma. Just tell me what to do.

Send picture of the box. No, Amy. It has DM. That means it's gonna make you go night night. If you take both, that's gonna be bad.

Damn it. Okay. We didn't take both. Took just the Mucinex, got mad, texted her the next day. The medicine didn't put me to sleep.

I should've taken both. And she was like, oh. Did she think it said PM or DM? No. DM.

Like, I sent her a picture. She knew who it was because, apparently, the DM you're it's fine. I'm just giving you a hard time. Like, it's not that big a deal. But as a little kid, most medicine that was supposed to make you go to sleep, it didn't.

It didn't for me or it would, like, there was something about the stuff that's for night that I would just get wired. But then the the normal stuff, like Benadryl would knock me out. And, like, if you take the Dramamine, like, the C6 stuff or whatever, like, that would knock me out. Like, some stuff would, but then there was, like I remember I took Tylenol PM one time, and I was up all night. So it's just like, this shit don't work for nothing.

No. No. No. That was like me that's like me and Adam. I've got it down I've got it down to a science now.

d in, and then I was up until: 01:45

Well, did you go live at least or should you sound like that? Or did you drop? Yeah. I ended up getting off live, I think at, like, one last night. Night, mom.

Love you. Nice, Susan. She's probably like, goddamn it, Amy. Okay. She's got nothing on on my week with my parents.

Like, the whole debacle. No. Oh my goodness. Mm-mm. That's Do you wanna share?

I probably shouldn't. I probably shouldn't. But let's just say that that yeah. Adults dealing with adult parents, Like, in some ways, you're like, you know, you have that mommy moment like, mom, I need this. You know?

And then other times you're like going I pay my own bills. I pay my own bills. I pay my own bills. I pay all my own bills. You no longer have a say.

I can be whoever I want to be. I am no longer Michelle, no. She doesn't. Uh-uh. She she does not live in Oklahoma.

Nope. Nope. She's more she's on the Chirac side. She's in Chicago. Damn.

I'm just disclosing all her shit. Oh, well. Fine. Thought about it. Yeah.

No problem. I thought about it first. I was like, maybe I shouldn't. Meh. That's fine.

I'm the only one that gets people to pop up at their house. This is the third time someone's done that. Because a different time someone popped up at my house, they didn't stay. They left me eggnog. That was, like, at the old place, though, wasn't it?

Yeah. That was also the same place that I had a love note that was, you know, for somebody else. And then, again, that same situation, you're you're seeing somebody else that I just keep you aware of. If you're gonna drop off gifts at random people's places, please be sure that it's the right address so that you don't cause an entire breakup between someone who sees a love note on your girlfriend's door. And you're like, who is this?

Aw, so cute. Yeah. No. I know. I could've said Illinois, but I don't like saying Illinois.

It bothers me for some reason. And I just classify the whole state as Chicago, kinda like I classify, like, California for the most part as LA. Oregon, I classify as Portland, Kansas, Kansas City. Like Las Vegas is Nevada. Like, you're just picking, like No.

Las Vegas is just Vegas. So, like, that's just like, New York Uh-huh. That's just New York. Think it's just New York City. Yeah.

Which I've gotten lectured multiple times. It's five boroughs, and then you got up here by, like, Camden area, and then you got over here. And I'm like, I don't care. It's all fucking Times Square to me, bro. I don't care.

I don't care. Like, it is what it is at this point. I got nothing. I got Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Oh, so, hi, Christina. Welcome in. We're doing a live version of our podcast.

So we're doing the clock app live version and also recording our podcast. And we haven't done this in a really long time, but this is a fun way for y'all to see This is the experience that we talk about. Yeah. This isn't so bad, actually. It's kind of like you get to do both a little bit.

I don't know. I kinda like it and feel like this is almost how we should just start doing it all the time. Like, I'm having a great fucking time. I don't know about you. Like, I'm like, this is great.

I'm like a little kid right now. Like, okay. And keep going. Keep going. No.

I'm here for you. You're good. I'm here for you. Yeah. So did anybody every did anybody have anything to add or take away from anything we've talked about tonight?

Because you kinda got this is the like, remember when I said we meander? Mhmm. Think of all the subjects we've discussed, and we don't even necessarily finish one before we start the next one. We probably should get better at that about closing the loops. But Probably.

But that's life, and that's really how conversations end up going. We'll circle back around if it's important. But if it's not, then we'll just kinda be like, no. Mhmm. Good.

And you do realize we we did hit food, right, with the Dubai chocolate. We did technically hit our hit our food quota. Which always happens too. Like, at one point, we're gonna bring up food. It never fails.

Mhmm. Never fails. Oh, I think I told you this. Maybe I didn't. I can't remember.

I did get referred to as somebody's hot ex wife. Oh, yeah. Okay. This that's we got another phenomenon. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No I may or may not have decided to go hang out with somebody that I'm like, we're friends now, but they I they happen to be my ex. Right? So I did. I did. I did.

I did. Like, I did. He got really mad and tweaked out. It was to be expected eventually. So then, like, he well, it's been a few weeks ago.

I got a phone call from him recently where he was like, you did nothing wrong, and I'm like, I know. Duh. Right. My it was not the problem. Ham on me out of freaking nowhere.

I did nothing, sir. Like, what? Mhmm. And then he owns up to it. He's like, I mean, just just think about it.

And I'm like, okay. Think about what? And he's like, you're basically my hot ex wife now. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? He's like, okay.

So, basically, we break up. And I'm like, it's been two and a half years, man. Yeah. Get over it. Let it go.

Let it go. Let it go. Yeah. And he was just like, but, like, you're like my hot ex wife who went and got her body done after we broke up, but you really didn't get your body done. Like, you didn't you didn't go get plastic surgery.

You're doing it naturally. And now you look great. And he was like, you look good before, but now you look like you look really good. And I'm like Do you guys not realize that's not super cool to say? Like Yeah.

Are they I don't think so. Not realize, like, I know you mean this in a really positive way, and I think genuinely you do. Like, I think they genuinely do. But there's no way to say it without it being taken because of the way we were built to have it also not kinda sting a little bit too. Yeah.

I mean, it stung a little in the sense of, like, damn. But at the same time, I was like, I'm doing good then. Okay. There is nothing better, and this is petty as fuck. But guess what?

Mhmm. Have you seen those memes when when, of everybody doing the things when you get the text message? They're like, okay. Can I be bitchy for a second? And everybody's just like, go for it, girl.

Alright? Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay. I'm gonna do that now.

Is it bad that you get that little thrill of after a breakup and the other person gets with someone else or even someone that they were messing around with while they're with you or or what you know, any of those things are really close to. You know, those are really close. And you know you're better looking than them. Yeah. Is that really horrible?

I think it makes me a horrible human being. No. It really doesn't because one of my friends may or may not have sent me pictures of her ex husband who blew up like a balloon. He he's because, like, when they were married, they were both really big on fitness and working out and doing all eating healthy, doing those things. He is not he he he married his mistress k.

And blew up like a balloon. And now, also, it's kind of comical because now the wife, because now she's the wife, is preggers. Okay. But yeah. Like like, I don't know what it is, and I don't know why all of a sudden I'm whispering.

I think it's because it's like this is like my secret shame. Right? Okay. Especially when someone was, an asshole. A schmoo sive to you.

How would you say that? Abysmal to you? Abysmal. Yeah. That's a good one.

So someone who is abysmal and would be little, like, the one I hated was he always used to say I was thick and not in a good way or things like that. Right? This Sir, do you want me to Yeah. Unless I was you know? Mhmm.

And, just, like, always stuff like that. Just, like Mhmm. You know? Tata's weren't right. Booty wasn't right.

Legs weren't right. Like, it was always something. Right? You know? Yeah.

And this new person Give us his name and address. Sorry. Give us this new person. I'm like, all the things that were wrong with me. Mhmm.

Did do you have eyes? Do they work? Well, so he no longer looks he doesn't have any room to talk. And so I'm wondering if it's like, oh, you can't get anybody that you want. Right.

Yeah. He don't get us with the person he needs. Anymore. Right? So I don't know.

Right? And the thing is is that I get like, I'm not judgy that way, but I'm just like, just, like, make it make sense to me. Yeah. Like, to me, beautiful woman. But okay.

Fine. Awesome. Right? Yeah. Well, I mean, because that's the same thing as, like, the replacement when most people see that.

Like, whoever their previous relationship was with and they see the replacement, normally, you're automatically, like, they downgraded. Like, that that's normally the context from what I've witnessed that it's always like, oh, well, they, they downgraded anyways. You know? And I'm all for, hell yeah, self esteem. But because even like, I've had a couple friends that were in long term relationships.

They, you know, broke up, whatever, and then they're like, do you wanna see this girl? And I'm like, well, just based upon looking at the picture, she seems way less high maintenance than you, and she actually looks like she's probably pleasant. Yeah. I'm not saying it can't go the other way either. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like, you know, some sometimes we do need to take accountability and admit we might be the problem. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

For sure. But in this situation, he was the problem. He was the whole I know. But it it is. I mean, like, especially when someone does all that stuff.

I mean, especially when, you know, they've cheated on you multiple times and treated you like shit, you know, like all this other stuff. And then you finally leave them and they're like, how dare you leave me and all these things. Right? And then Mhmm. That's that's and I'm glad.

Yeah. And you're just like, really? You made some choices. And Mhmm. If it makes me kind of get a little bit of a self esteem boost after you totally destroyed said self esteem, Again, I only say this in private.

I don't, it's not like I'm, like, saying, like, oh, you're you're you know, like, it's not like that. But that internal little boost that you have, I didn't know if it was just a me thing and I'm a petty bitch or if it's, like, other people feel that way too. No. We know I'm here for the petty. Mhmm.

I'm always here for the petty. Love a good petty. Like Love a good petty. Love a good petty moment. Like, you gotta be fucking petty.

Sorry. I just Carmen is beautiful. Petty is my middle name, AJ. Yes. Like, I'm I'm petty, but I think I'm I'm I'm gonna say the things to your face even, like, I don't care enough sometimes where the petty things I'm just gonna say.

I'm not gonna do petty things. I'm just gonna say petty things to you. But, also, if you ask people, they'll be like, Amy's passive aggressive. And I'm like, your mom's a whore. I don't know.

Like and? Man, there it is. We're right back to the beginning where sometimes Amy has road rage. So Yeah. But, like, you know, I just I just say things that come out of my mouth.

And certain days, I'm like, well, probably shouldn't have said that. Other days, I'm like, I said it. I'm about doing the petty things too. Right? Yeah.

Like, sometimes you gotta be petty. Mhmm. Like, you you have to. They earned it. You gotta stand on business.

Like, you had that one a come in. What did you think was gonna happen? I was just gonna let you do that? Sir. Poor little tink tink.

You idiot. Like so the dude that popped up on me, when I have to go to his job when I'm DoorDashing. Right? Are you like, before, like, when we were seeing each other, I would get that, like, excited nervous. Like, oh, do I get to see him?

And now I'm like, fuck. I hope I don't see him. Face here, Kevin. Right. I'm like, what corner of this little area can I stand in Mhmm?

To where I know he's not gonna see me? And what petty bullshit am I gonna pull if he does? That's also where my brain goes. So mind you today, that was my first order that I had to pick up. Oh, no.

So yeah. I mean, it paid well, so I was like, hell yeah. Thank you. You know? Took it.

But I'm literally just arm up, elbow on the wall, leaning, scrolling my phone, and waiting. Do you see him? No. Oh, good. Okay.

No. But I was just, like, waiting for the to go person to get, like, the yes. See? Another dasher. Sorry.

And I got stories about that for days. Anyways I had no hexes here for me. Yeah. I was just like, please don't come over here. But he told me the day that he had popped up that he's now, he just bartends Mhmm.

The entire time. So the bar is on the complete opposite side. And, obviously, bartender, you can't leave from behind the bar. Yeah. So I am golden now when I have to go in there.

Like, I don't have to worry about that at all or ever because he's gonna be stuck behind the bar, which makes me very, very happy because I'm like, I can't I I can't. This is a no. A big no. It's a big, big no. Also, I have matched with people on dating apps.

Recently? Recently. Yeah. Which ones are you doing? Hinge and Bumble.

Okay. Is Tinder out now? Is it not the cool thing anymore? Because Tinder was hot there for a couple years. Is Tinder Tinder is the hookup one.

I thought that was Hinge. No. That's Grindr. Sorry. Grindr is for dudes.

I know. But Okay. I was like is the hookup for for dudes. For dudes. Yeah.

From what I understand. Yeah. Because I'm like, wait, Lou. No. No girls are on Grindr from what I'm worried about.

Is it no girls at all on Grindr? Is it only for dudes? I don't know. Oh, I didn't know that. I just remember that I just remember that it was Tinder and Grindr or I thought it was Hinge and Grindr that were the hookup ones for a while.

No. Tinder, POF are the ones that I'm aware of that are hookup. Plenty of fish is a hookup? Yeah. Now it is.

Yeah. Now it is. Which it always it's always funny because I know a couple people are like, that's where I met my spouse was on POS. I thought it was, like, supposed to be for, like, Christian y people and stuff like that. And the fact that it's turned into the hookup one.

No. That's Christian mingle. It's Oh, I thought for some reason the plenty of fish anytime I see fish stuff, I'm always just like, oh, Jesus fishes. Okay. I assume that I assume that it was Jesus people.

Yeah. Yeah. No. It's it's just it's just a dirty piss off. Have a good night.

Thanks for hanging out with us. No. So Hinge and Bumble. Hinge was supposed to be for, like, young professionals when it first came out. Like, it was supposed to be the superior The the people who actually adult kind of I want.

Yeah. And Bumble is, like, girls have to message the guy first. So a little bit more, I guess, like, a safety thing. So, like, you could match with them and you could be like because there there's times you actually agree to accept a chat from this person or whatever, or you can initiate a chat? Yeah.

The girl can initiate a chat, but, like, now they have it to where you can do, like, an opener. And I think, like, mine on there is if you were our main character in a movie or show, who would you be? Mhmm. Just because I'm like, I don't care enough here. Can you just pick something?

I should probably do better just get off the apps, but sometimes it's kind of fun swiping. And then also it's really depressing because every five seconds, fish. Fish. What is it with it's either it's either dudes hunting or fishing. Mhmm.

It's a very Midwest thing. Yeah. And it's like, am I supposed to be impressed that you can catch a fish? Can you cook the fish too? What happens if I don't like fish?

What happens if I'm allergic to said fish? Like Let What are you doing with fish? Like, if I see a dude, they'll barbecuing something. I'm like, okay. He can grill meats.

Okay. Or if he's in the kitchen, he's cooking something, I'm like Yeah. Cool. But, yeah, that's more impressive to me than than Holding up a deceased animal. I murdered Yeah.

I murdered some, nature for you. Yeah. Yeah. No. Like, a dude that can cook, I'm sold.

I'm in. Mhmm. Done and done. I'm like, look. I will do dishes for the rest of my life if you cook, and it's good.

I don't care. Like, I don't care. Like, grilling, at this point, you'd have to be able to, like, smoke meat, I think, for me to be, like, super impressed because I'm like, I got a grill, bro. I can do this. No.

We do. I don't Like, we have a smoker. So smoked salmon is happening Yep. You can smoke it out. So when I come there Is it it's pretty much the only thing you'll be able to do is sit in the house and eat salmon.

You can't be outside. I can't be. Oh, see. Michelle said, LOI cook so my hubby will do the dishes. That's what I'm talking about.

Oh. That right there. That right there. I had a whole conversation the other day too on here, about $50.50 or one pays for everything type of a thing. Like like, when I say that, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, well, I mean, yes and no in a way.

Like, $50.50 where like, okay. So $50.50 in the sense for me. This is for me. If if we agree to fifty fifty, 50% of the bills, 50% of the cleaning, 50% of the cooking. It's it's 100% all encompass 50 fucking 50.

It's not 50%. We're splitting bills, but you're gonna sit on your ass scratching your balls playing a fucking video game while I cook and clean, and then you just sit here sucking oxygen Mhmm. Type of a thing or where it's like I guess, if we go more traditional role where man goes out, man makes all the money, man pays all bills, woman stays at home and cooks, cleans, does that shit. I have an aversion to it, but that was because, you know, past stuff. Because Muse, you have a smart man.

Because there is some weird thing that happens where the entitlement is I pay for everything. So there's this out area of control. Mhmm. And it because we have to here. Let me give context.

Sets off the power dynamics. Let's just put it that way. Yeah. Context, I live in the Midwest. I live in the Bible Belt.

Mhmm. So out here, a lot of it is very conservative. Yeah. Very, I am man. You do what I say.

Here's your weekly allowance, especially in the area I live in, in the Burbs. It's it's very much so that. But, like, I've done fifty fifty with my last two relationships, and I say $50.50 loosely, with my last two relationships that I was in. Yes. We split bills.

Yes. We did that. However, I was still the main one doing the laundry, cleaning every ounce of the apartment. Mhmm. And also, like, to where now, I'm like, bro, I'm not I'm not doing that.

I'm sorry. I'm not I'm not if you cook, I'll clean. If I if I cook, you cleaning. Mhmm. Like, it just I'm not I'm not doing it all anymore.

Mhmm. I'm tired of doing it all. Because what are you here for? Yeah. At this point, I toys that probably work better than you anyways.

Yeah. So What what what does our friend always say? Like, I can have everything you give me, and it has an off switch. So Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Other than that, now you're just a drain on my resources and my time and my energy at this point. Right? Mhmm. Yeah.

Mhmm. Which is typically why I tell people, like, look, man. I'm single, and at this point, you have to be really fucking amazing to change that Yeah. Remotely for me because otherwise, I'm good. I don't wanna I I don't wanna I am at peace.

Don't ruin it. Mhmm. Because that's what you're gonna do. Yeah. If you bring Chaos?

I mean, I like chaos, but not that kind of chaos. But it's almost like well, it's not that whole thing of what do you bring to the table. You know? Like, I hate that fucking thing. I'd yeah.

I can't believe it. Shit, sir. And you don't have to I don't have any I'm not expecting you to bring anything. Now if if, we both enjoy each other's company Mhmm. Why does it need to be more than that?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you know how many dates I've gone on where the dude's like, what do you bring to the table? And I've looked at them, and I go, I built the fucking table. What can you do?

What is yeah. Like, what do I bring to the table? Me. Mhmm. I don't know.

If someone said that to me, I'd literally just get up and walk out. And I'd be like, fuck. Fuck. No. I'm like, I don't let's get one thing for sure.

Because what are you bringing? I don't need to be me more more, more things to do, you know, more, more dishes, like you said, more laundry, an expectation to put out, like, all this stuff. What are you doing? Yeah. What do you what what do you do?

What are what are you doing that's gonna add to what I've already created? Yeah. Because I am a fully efficient adult over here. Mhmm. Nobody's bringing nothing to that.

Nothing to this thing. You know? Whose table are we talking about as well? Right. Because you're you're expecting me to just grant you, here's your gift, sire.

Does that look good for you? Do you like it? Did I please you? Fuck that shit. No way.

I like Maeve's response order the lobster before walking out his table now. Yes. Right? Exactly. Like, I just don't I can't stand that, like, what do you bring to the table?

Like, what can you offer me? Do you wanna know? A smart ass mouth and maybe a headache. Like, what? I I don't know.

I don't I don't know. Because even they're like, well, I can build things, and then I look at them and go, I've built every single piece of furniture in my house. Mhmm. So and they're just, you did? Yeah.

Which point? Like, I I don't know how to use a a electric drill? Like Hammer? No? No?

We read the instructions, so it's built right the first time, bro. I don't I don't know what you're on. Hi, Steve o. Steve o. Hello.

Welcome to a live recording of our podcast. Food food. Yes. Yes. We this is, episode six of So What Happened Was.

Mhmm. So What Happened Was? You can listen everywhere podcasts are available. Right, Maeve? Yeah.

Dating is exhausting. I don't recommend. It's it's not fun. And most guys I'm actually attracted to, I've realized, don't live anywhere near me. You're like, I got if I'm ever gonna live my life, I'm probably gonna have to relocate.

And Yeah. Which I want to. To decide when that is feasible for me because slim pickings, everybody. Slim pickings. Yeah.

You either get, like, the super country churchy or you just get super churchy conservative. I can save you and convert you. Or you just get the, like Thank you, but no. Mm-mm. Pass.

Right. And I'm over here, like, can I tell you unhinge things to terrify you? Alright. Sit down. We're gonna tell you some scary stories.

Alright? Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Let's Yeah.

Run run and pee in them plants. Are you sure you wanna play this game with me? Right? You don't think you do. What has been the what has been the quickest, like, date?

Oh, this is not happening. Like like Coffee date I went on years ago. A coffee date? What about that one where the person was like, racist? One more Oh my god.

I forgot about him. That was horrible. That was a whole memory unlocked. Yeah. He was not cool.

Like, he was had had several phobias, and I can't list them because of the platform. But the the That was, like, just a dinner, wasn't it? Or at a bar? Well, we went to we went to dinner, and then we went to a bar for drinks after that. And then we went to another bar after that.

So once he had a few in him, and then he got he he actually smoked very little. Prior to once he had a few in him. I thought he got loose lips once he started No. He already did in general, but the more he drank, then it was because the very end of the night because, like, I've known him. Like, so I've known this kid for years, so I was okay with him, like, picking me up to where it wasn't like, I'm gonna meet you.

So, like, I finally agreed to go on a date with him after all of these years. It's been a very long time. It's a dumb decision. I shouldn't have done it. But Regrets are had.

Yeah. Because he was, like, trying to flex at this dinner that he took me to that was completely free. Oh, that's right. It was like his Yeah. Nephew's, like, friend's restaurant, and it's a restaurant concept that they opened here where it's ran by, like, high school students that wanna go to culinary arts for college.

Meal and then was trying to act like he's all big shot. Yeah. Didn't even bring cash with him to leave the girl a tip. The high school tip. Have any Yeah.

Yeah. And I didn't have any cash on me either, so I couldn't leave her a tip. And I felt like shit, because she was super nice. And so, like, we go there, and he's like, that dinner was amazing. I did great.

And I'm like, and I'm like, bitch, it was free. What the fuck are you on? It was a charity dinner. What are we talking about? Like, this was, like, the soft opening of this fucking restaurant ran by kids.

What the fuck? Okay. So then we go to a bar and run into a girl I used to work with in the bar. And I was like, oh, thank god. Because I had someone to talk to for a minute.

And I can't believe he didn't cut it short. He drove. I tried. That's right. He he I tried, and my cheap ass was like, I'm not taking an Uber.

ve to be home between ten and: 10:30

I I love having a dog for this reason. So, like, I that was my whole thing. But by the third place we went, which was a bar up the street from where I live, I was like, it's time to go. Like, I have to go home. And he would just come back from the bar with more drinks and more drinks.

And I'm like, dude, I'm you're I'm not gonna get lit. Like, I don't know what you think is gonna happen, but nothing's gonna happen. So we end up, like, obviously, coming back to my house. He did not come in my house. He doesn't even know which apartment is mine.

He just knows what the outside of my building looks like. We're gonna make that very first now. Safety first, people. And he's leaning against his car like we're in high school, and he's, like, hot shit with his arms crossed, just leaning back on his I don't even like, it's not a Camaro, but that's probably the closest thing I could think of at the moment. Like, just like, you know?

And I'm like, what the fuck? And he's like, so when are when are we gonna go out again? And I'm like, soon. Soon. And I'm just backing away.

Backing away. He's like, I can't get a get a good night kiss, and I'm like, nope. Turn. Like, book it to the door. My worst was I had someone who backed me up against a car and was doing the thing, and I'm literally doing, this.

Mhmm. Dude, if a girl is literally pretzeling herself to get away from a good night kiss, it wasn't a good date, sir. And No. And and you should stop. No.

Yeah. Yeah. Because even at some point, does anybody else ever get that weird thing is, like, I could just let them give me a peck on the cheek because that's the safest thing? Because I don't know if this is gonna set this person off. I don't know them well enough.

Or is this like, is it, is it an encouragement? Dad, do I got a stalker? Like all these weird things. It's hard being in that position because then you're like, how little do I have to give up for this to just stop and go away? And I don't think a lot of people realize that that's a regular thing.

You know? Like, we put up with a lot of stuff just to have it. You know? Like you did. You're you're sitting there listening and making these comments because he fucking drove.

Right? And now you're kinda stuck and you go, nice, nice, nice, nice. Yeah. I mean, like, yes, I could have paid for an Uber, but, again, I'm cheap. And I was like, this is gonna be over soon.

It's fine. It's gonna be over soon. It's fine. You know? Like, I I'll be home, and this will be great.

And I'll never have to actually see him again, which is even better because he never, like, actually text me because he had my phone number already, like, from years ago. He only talked to me on Facebook Messenger. Mhmm. So, like, I was like, he's never gonna text me. It's fine.

But, no, a date I went on a few weeks ago, when I went to leave, I was going in for the side hug. You know, the pat pat side hug. This kid full on, like, hoop, arms straight out, you know, straight on. And I'm, like, turning the head type of, like, you know, like, oh, you know? Like, go to the uh-huh.

And all of a sudden, I'm, like, starting to turn my head and his face is just coming straight. And I'm like No. Oh, no. Oh, no. And he was taller than me, so I'm just, oh, no.

Oh, no. And it was, like, the most awkward fucking first kiss I've ever had in my entire life. And then on top of that, I'm like, I feel nothing. There's not there's nothing. There's not there's nothing.

This is weird. Dry as a bone, ladies. Dry as a bone. And the fact that it back up, and then it goes back in for another one. Yeah.

I'm like, dude, why why are we here? Okay. But here's the dilemma too. I don't want the ask, but sometimes there's some people who think it's gentlemanly and sweet to ask. So which one is it?

And I understand. I think that we've talked about this before in this day and age. Most guys aren't, aren't gonna do nothing without asking because, you know, consent's a thing now, you know, and so they're actually taking it to heart. But then there's also something about a guy just grabbing you and making out with you. But the but the tension has to be there.

That's the problem. I feel like there has to be signs and, like Yeah. Like, if it's You can tell me when it's there. I think I think if there's been a buildup, you've had multiple phone conversations or you flirted over text, and then you finally go out or it's a second or whatever date. Like, you know, if the girl is giving you the signs, you know?

Yeah. At least do the at least do the hitch, right, where you go in for the, you know, 70% less income. You know, like Mhmm. That's cool. Exactly.

Exactly. Read the room now. Exactly. Yeah. Whole thing.

Exactly. Yeah. I can't I was just like, I can't. And then I got really oh, this is gonna make me sound like a terrible person. We talked He he was really nice.

He he was really nice. Right? Super, super nice guy. Funny, I was cracking up the entire time. Like, I'm like, I could be friends with you, and that's cool.

You know? But we had taught he was like, oh, I can't wait. We'll just go on another date. And I'm like, yeah. You know, just let me know.

And I obviously went to my friends and it was like, should I go on another date? No. You know? Mhmm. Even you were like, just give it another date and see.

And I'm like, okay. We'll do another date. He unfortunately lost one of his friends, and this is where I'm gonna sound like an asshole because, yes, that was unfortunate. Yes. I feel bad for him.

Yes. I'm sorry for him. But since then, I haven't really heard from him, so I'm excited because I don't have to worry about going on a second date, which is why I'm like, it's gonna make me sound like a asshole. And I'm not trying to be an asshole, but it's gonna make me sound like a asshole. Oh, shit.

And then I was sick, so there was also that too. That's true. So so I was like, yeah. I don't I don't feel so hot. So, you know I mean, I'm not right.

No judgment. Yeah. No judgment here. We listen and we don't judge on this on this podcast. Right?

Like Yeah. Well, that and then the last time I talked to him, which I think was, like, a week ago. Hold, please. Pull up the text message. Don't worry.

I come with receipts, guys. You always have them. You're like, okay. Wait. Hold on.

I don't wanna misquote. Mhmm. Let me do this thing. Yeah. The last time I talked to him was July 30, which was, what, a week ago?

Mhmm. Week and a half, two weeks. I I'm bad at time. So it was, like, it was the last time I talked to him, and he was like, so you know you could just come over to my house and hang out. And I'm like, bro, you got fucking four roommates.

May I? That doesn't sound fun to me. Let's all chill. I don't know any of you. Yeah.

And I'm like, so I'd meet all your roommates then? And he's like, well, we would just hang out in my room. And I'm like, what are we? Fucking 12? I mean, if you said you wanna come over and play Legos, maybe.

Then we could hang in your room and play Legos. I mean, that was his one promising point because he was like, so I could just buy you Lego sets for Christmas and your birthday? I'm like, buy me Lego sets any day of the week. I wouldn't complain. You know?

And he's like, well, what happens if you already own that Lego set? Would you just keep it? I said, fuck no. We'd go back to the store and exchange that bitch. Do that.

Michelle goes, I thought I was dismissed. And after two weeks, I got a call, and I was like, I've already moved on, sir. Like, no. Yeah. I I got a lot of Lego sets, Steve.

A lot of fucking Lego sets. It's kind of embarrassing. This is this we're gonna we're gonna ask this question because it it's a weird one. Okay. K.

I'm ready. Have you ever started a phone flirtation before you've actually actually, like, dated them, like, or gone on a date? Like, is is Are we are we talking schmectine? Okay. Like, there's flirty texts before the date.

Right? Like, there's flirty, like Mhmm. But if you ever just randomly just done. Like, it Like, Mexican. Escalated pretty quickly because this happened to me.

Okay. So I used to be really big into poker. Right? And I used to play, Texas Hold'em. Right?

Right. I'm with Steve. What is your question? Where are we going with this loop? Stephen, leave me alone.

I know what I'm trying to say. Okay. And I met this dude and he had the Texas twang to him, and he called me baby girl Oh, yep. There it is. Like, day one of this tournament.

Right? Oh. And let's just say within the first six hours, he was, like, enjoying himself while on the phone with me. That's a lot. So have you ever done that where you're just like, well, we're here now.

Okay. And then you just block their number afterwards because you're just like No. Because his voice was it was like, I gotta be on the phone with someone. It sounded I had book talk in my ear. And so it's just like, let's just sure.

You'll only live once. YOLO. That's pretty much how I live my life every day. YOLO. This is where we're at.

No. I mean, I have I don't wanna admit this right now. Let me just double check something. Hold, please. What?

Before I admit this. Just don't don't worry about it right now. We're just Okay. Maeve gets it. But, like like, I get on the phone with this dude after this tournament, and he's just like, he sounds like this, and he's just like, baby girl.

I need you on the you know, like, I I'm just like but it was, like, deep. I I can't do it right because I can't do it right. But I it was like panty melting kind of voice. Like, it was total book talk voice. And I'm like, well, if you're ever gonna have a, a phone conversation that gets smexy Mhmm.

Why not have a hot Texan dude? Yeah. Who's ripped this shit, like and plays poker? Okay. Yeah.

That's pretty nice. That's pretty nice. No. I have flirted with somebody in the DMs. Mhmm.

Yeah. Do do do people like sex via DMs? Do people do that, like, on Instagram? Yeah. They do.

Sometimes it escalates to other apps. I have done that. I have done that. And Is it just for funsies? Like like, I didn't take it too terribly seriously.

It was just kinda like a, like, to me, it was kinda like but I'm also the same person who's like, I'll totally do phone sex if that's if pay me pay me. I'll fucking do that or, you know, whatever. I don't care. Yeah. Telling feet pics, whatevs.

We we're we full circle on that one. So did you but did you enjoy it, or was it weird? At first, it was a little weird, but then I enjoyed it, and I was like, damn. That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. You know?

Like That wasn't nearly as scary as I thought. It was gonna be It wasn't as awkward as I as I thought that was gonna get. Mhmm. Like so it worked out, I guess. Yeah.

So, like, I'm sorry. I'm thinking about it now. Hold on. Me. Okay.

I don't get that one. Books for me. Okay? Or is that a question? Books for me.

Okay? Well, how do you how would you read that from me? Book? Well, I completely get the voice text and thing books for me okay. Or, like like, good book recommendation?

Like, is it a good book recommend? I don't know how to read that. Oh, it cut off it cut off her text. Oh, gotcha. Okay.

Okay. Oh, so you got filtered probably on the first half, which I don't have any words set on mine to filter anybody. I don't either on mine. So that one's that one's probably just the clock app Mhmm. Being the clock app.

Maybe you could always text it. Like, we never talk to you. Right. You have you have the phone number, so you can always text. That's that's literally how I've had to run some of my lives because I'm like, we're getting way out of hand and spicy, and Yeah.

The clock app's like, no. No. No. And I'm like, just message me. And then I pull it up, and I'm like, oh, here's the question.

So, yeah, you can always just text it, and we can read it out loud if you want. If not, it's cool. Doesn't matter. I can't watch this. Matters because I actually wanna know what the question is.

Like, I wanna know. But that's just me, and I always wanna know all the things. But But that we've hit the the the marker for episode six. We did. Oh, wait.

Hang hold, please. Okay. Husband came with Texan twang and that sexy voice. Ideal date is just read my smut book for me. Okay?

I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it either. I think that's If I didn't know your husband, I'd be like, oh, yeah. He should do a sampler and let me listen to it, and I'll let you know how he did. You know?

But that'd be it's a little too awkward. I mean, I love you if he says, but that might that might be crossing that line there. That's fine. Yeah. That that would that's that's a boundary.

Yeah. No. There's some good voices. Like, I don't know who I'm obsessed with book talk. But, yeah, anyways but it's just the voices and stuff like that.

Mhmm. Oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah. You start you start scrolling the clock app here, especially after you send me freaking book talk videos.

Every freaking swipe, it's her and then the baby girl and Good girl. And Uh-huh. Good girl. And You can take it. Yeah.

There's there's so many things, and I'm like, Lou, what did you do to my FYP? I built this brick on a brick. With your algorithm as much as I choose to. Look, man. I finally got back to where it's like because I'm still getting dating stuff dating stuff.

And and now even, like, my book talk thirst traps have switched into, like, regular Joe Schmo thirst traps. I'm like, no. I'm only into fantasy third straps. I already got my person. Like, no.

I only need BookTok. Like, it like, if you do, like, a whole thing and it's like a character from a book that I love, I'm like, oh, yeah. That's totally Kane. That's totally him. You know?

Like, or whatever. Like, then I'm for it, but no. Mhmm. Oh, yes. And, Maeve, we are totally allowed to send those to each other.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I I actually stream myself on the on the sending of the TikToks in our group chat. I'm not gonna lie to you. I Lou will be able to open her phone and be like, fuck.

I when I finally looked at my phone today, I had 91 messages, and it was all from you yahoos. And I was like, oh, I'm so far I'm so far behind. See? And that's what I tell people. I tell people the same thing.

Like, I'm like, I'll shut up. Don't worry. I'll stop talking. And they're like, no. Keep talking.

I'm like, alright. Well, this is your funeral because now you're screwed. Said it. You've released the hounds. Like, there's no, you know, the shit's out of the horse.

There's no putting it back. Like, this is just happening now. So, yep, Dave, I say we do I say we do a day of where we only speak in either memes or TikToks or or, you know, GIFs or whatever it is, and we see if we can carry on a conversation. I think we could do it. I well, yeah.

We've done it before. Gets a little odd sometimes. Odd. Right? Mhmm.

Yes. I say GIFs. GIFs? It's It's it's g I f. It's a GIF.

I think I thought I heard the person that created them call them GIFs. I'm gonna say it's GIFs. You know what, Steven? I'm tired of your shit, sir. Tired of your shit.

I was all, I was all nice to you on Monday. Like I got my rocks, like I got my notebooks. I got, like like, I thought we were cool, man. I thought we were cool, man. If I wanna call them GIFs.

That's it. Jesus again words in Jive. Now Michelle's calling me out for being old. Ah, man. Uh-huh.

Oh, man. Yeah. Like, I mean, I'm I've honestly heard it so many ways now that it's just it is what it is. Personal preference. Mhmm.

Mhmm. Yeah. It's just kinda whatever you wanna make it, however you wanna say it. Yeah. I just potato.

Oh, yeah. Is that 46 yesterday? Yeah. 46. I think so.

I barely remember my own age. I know. Right? It's a whole thing. But I know somebody asked me that.

I'm like, 30? Above 35. Jif like peanut butter. Yes. Why do you think I picked it?

Because Jif is the best. You already sent me happy birthday, Steven. You weirdo. Steven, you weirdo. The weirdo.

The weirdo. Yeah. I'm I think after 35, you no longer care anymore. I stopped counting after 42, I think. I was like, I can say it again.

Lou, stop arguing with me. It's it's like you've become, like, a a long lost sibling in the way that we argue at this point. Now we just poke at each other and just be like because it's fun that I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you.

Mom. Stop it. But I'm not touching you. Stop it. Stop it.

Mhmm. Alright. Y'all, we have done a full Yes. Full time slot of our, podcast. This is called, So What Happened was this is a podcast that streams on all the podcasts, Spotify, Apple.

Apple, all those things. This is the first time we've done it while on TikTok live. And I think this is my new favorite way to do it. I'm not gonna lie. Are you liking this way more?

Yeah. Because if you think about it, we can save the clips. Yeah. Well, I can save the clips. Mhmm.

And then, you know, we can both post them to also help promote because what's our biggest lacking thing in this is promoting the podcast. Know I hate promoting self But how it's not bad if you just have to post a video. Because, like, if I send you the part where it's you talking about BookTok, you can post that on your BookTok page and then promote the podcast by just posting the clip. Yeah. And then It looks Emily like that.

She thought it was good. Mhmm. Yay. Thank you, Emily. Yeah.

So this is what we do. Alright. So that was so what happened was episode six. Mhmm. Sorry.

Long time long time coming. Right. We're just we're not gonna talk about how long it's been. No. We're we're just gonna move on, move forward.

Mhmm. Mhmm. Alright. Love you guys. Bye.